Hitting Ctrl+Alt+Del When Life Gets Complicated

Parenting

by Tara Pringle Jefferson | on December 2nd, 2010 | 4 comments

by Tara Pringle Jefferson

We’ve all been there. You’re chugging along, working on some documents, maybe doing some web browsing, got your Windows Media Player open with some R&B playing. Then all of a sudden your computer freezes. You hit the Ctrl+Atl+Del keys, the system reboots and everything is working again.

Well, wouldn’t it be nice if marriage worked like that? You’ve been pulling 14-hour shifts to cover some unexpected bills, your son has been acting out in school, your daughter just brought home some less-than-stellar grades and the tension from those issues has you arguing with your partner a lot more than normal.

Wouldn’t it be cool if instead of arguing about who was supposed to pay the electric bill, you could instead turn around and hit Ctrl+Alt+Del? Then the bills would be paid, your son would get a healthy dose of “Get right,” your daughter would be pulling straight As again and love would be in the air once more.

Eh, but life is not that simple. (Where’s that darn “Easy” button when you really need it?) But there are tips and tricks that give you the “All better” feeling faster:

1. If you’re being cranky, admit it and apologize. Sometimes we get snappy with whoever is around, not necessarily who has pissed us off. A simple, “Sorry for snapping at you – That was unnecessary” can work wonders.

2. Don’t hold grudges. Makes issues seem that much worse. How many times have you convinced yourself that a situation was bigger than it really was, and that gave you the right to stay mad just a teensy bit longer? If someone has apologized, accept it whole-heartedly and leave the past in the past.

3. Take one day a month to pinpoint (and then stop doing) the things that annoy you. This could be (should be?) a whole post by itself. But if you are always getting frustrated that your mornings are chaotic and unpredictable, make it a point to do 15 minutes of prep work before you go to bed. If you’re frustrated that you can never get dinner ready before 8 p.m., spend Sunday mornings as a prep day and cook a few meals for the week. There’s no law that says the things that once annoyed you always have to.

BMWK family, I know there’s no easy button in real life, but what do you do when you want to shift your attitude quickly?

Tara Pringle Jefferson is a freelance writer and blogger living in Ohio with her husband and two children. Visit her blog (she promises you’ll like it) to read more of her observations about life, motherhood and love.

About the author

Tara Pringle Jefferson is managing editor of BlackAndMarriedWithKids.com. She’s also the author of Make It Happen: The Young Mommy Guide To Creating The Career You Crave. Follow her on Twitter or check out her blog for her insights on what it means to be a mom, wife, student, writer, and about three other labels she’s too tired to remember.

Keeshab2002

I make all the necessary adjustments that I have the power to make, because I like to operate in order and I like to be a little more pro-active. If I know I just HAVE to do something I dislike or takes a long time, I try to get on top of it. But, here’s what’s happening in my house. I make these adjustments, which work well for me. My family (spouse included), don’t see how my adjustments help in the overall process, and continue to do the same old stuff. Then they look to Mama(me), to help with these FOR SEEN emergencies, which defeats the zen I’m trying to achieve. I even heard my husband telling my niece over Thanksgiving…and I quote..” well, I just let her do it because she thinks her way is the best way”…ARE YOU KIDDING ME??? Either admit when a system works, come with a better solution, or SHUT UP!! Am I trippin? I don’t think so, I just like to be on the solution team….my husband calls it OCD…LOL
GeeGee4

Girl, a Whole-lot of Prayers and woosas…LOL As I get older, I have learned that I cant control everything!!(Why Not) LOL And with that, I am trying hard to rely on God for direction, strength and peace of mind….
Keeshab2002

Sorry Tara, I just realized I didn’t even answer your question!!…What do I do to shift my attitude….I get quiet and begin to pray and realize that “this too, shall pass”…..
Luvlyblasian

In my marriage with kids, I am the one who is easily fustrated and tend to have quick emotional reactions. To adjust my attitude, I walk away to a quite place the moment I feel an emotional jerk reaction to any stimuli. That helps me put things into perspective–seperating what is within my control and what is not and how to approach it logically. I take paper and just brainstorm writting down the issues, pro’s , con’s and plans of action. That is what really helps me stay in control of me and how I respond to my enviroment.