He Still Got It!

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by Ayanna Black | on February 11th, 2011 | 22 comments

By Ayanna Black

I’d written an article a couple month’s back about how our husbands should help boost our confidence after having babies but I think it’s also important to do the same for him. We need to let him know he still has a place in our lives as well.

After having the triplets I had to pour a lot of time and energy into them and pull my appearance back together. But what I didn’t realize is that as much as I wanted his attention and compliments he wanted mine as well. I saw that he’d been working out more and doing a little more to gain my attention. As busy moms or new mothers it’s easy to loose track of things that used to be at the forefront of our mind and some things can get lost in the shuffle of what our everyday lives have become.

One day I read a Facebook status of author Yanni Brown on the topic of relationships and not being a complainer. A man commented that when he comes home it would be nice if his lady gave him a smile and asked how his day was before starting in on him about the many woes of her day.

So I figured I would try that instead of talking about the kids or how tired I was when my husband got home. When he returned home from work that day, I greeted him with a smile and warm hug. “Oh wow I notice the work you’ve been putting in at the gym you look really nice. How was your day today?” I could instantly see a glow come over him. I saw that he was elated and a bit surprised that the everyday routine conversation has changed and it was focused on him today. It was evident that that was something that needed to be done. After that day I made a conscious effort to let him know I appreciated his efforts at home, in the gym and in every other way that he supports the family. I then knew I had to bring something new to the table every day and let him know he still had it!

Letting your man know he still has a place in your life once situations change your relationship will do a world of good in the partnership. It will assure him that he’s still needed and wanted in your world. The bottom line is men want most of the same things we want – they just express it differently. So ladies – let’s give our men a boost of confidence today. Tell him he has a body like Fifty (he may not but it might inspire him to get in the gym if you approach it the right way).

Men: What could your lady do to boost your confidence? Ladies: How have you let your man know he still has it?

Ayanna is a married mom of busy triplets in Chicago. She’s a freelance parenting/marriage and technology blogger. Ayanna and her husband Damion are a featured couple in Ebony Magazine’s “Partner Project.” Ayanna is also the proud owner of ABlackWebDesign.com

About the author

Ayanna Black is the founder of A. Black Web Design, a web customization firm based in Chicago. Ayanna enjoys blogging about parenting her triplets, marriage and technology. Ayanna and her husband Damion are a featured couple in Ebony Magazine’s “Partner Project.”

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EdwardLee9

Great post Ayanna. My wife and I just talked about this, like line by line, this week. After being clean shaven for 12 years I started wearing a goatee over a month ago and I had to point it out to my wife. In her defense alot is going on – but we had to recommit to paying attention to each other inspite of life’s other demands.
http://www.ablackwebdesign.com Ayanna

Thanks Edward! It is really easy to over look things that seem to be right in your face when there is so much going on.
Dolphinlexis

Loved the article Ayanna. My husband of 12 years and I have had this talk often, sometimes I feel neglected by him or vice versa and we have to remind each other, hey you’re not paying attention to me. It’s so true though, it’s not always about you. He’ll cook dinner or do laundry to give me a break and I say thank to him and he tells me all the time as well. It makes you feel appreciated.

http://www.ablackwebdesign.com Ayanna

Thanks Dolphinlexis! And when you feel appreciated it makes you want to do more for your spouse.

Brandisomoore

when my husband complains about his job I let him know that even if he does not feel appreciated at work his wife and children love him and appreciates his hard work. That helps relieve some of his stress.

http://www.ablackwebdesign.com Ayanna

Excellent advice Brandisomoore!

Brandisomoore

when my husband complains about his job I let him know that even if he does not feel appreciated at work his wife and children love him and appreciates his hard work. That helps relieve some of his stress.
Grandma Rae

I totally agree with the concept of letting your spouse or partner know that he still has it going on. You should never become to comfortable with the lackluster of a relationship. Always find ways to add spice and excitement to your relationship. Good job . Love this article. Learned alot about my son that I didn’t know.

http://www.ablackwebdesign.com Ayanna

Thanks Grandma Rae! I learned from the best!

Taiavashti

I really appreciate all my husband does..but I refuse to lie to him…that would create a state or distrust…..

http://www.ablackwebdesign.com Ayanna

Good point Taiavashti. I actually meant that as a way of motivation in the way you approach the conversation. I can only really speak about what works for me and my house. My husband is pretty shapely so that comment may work for him but it really depends on your situation. Thanks for your comment it gives another angle to the conversation.

Melissagiles9

Everyone likes to hear they got it going on. I’m Looking forward to my husbands reaction when I tell him!

http://www.ablackwebdesign.com Ayanna

I agree!

loretha

this was a great article. i am not currently married but this same information can be used for those of us who are dating or in a serious relationship. we must keep our men motivated and they should do the same for us. life is too short and a happy mate makes everything better. thanks for the advice.

http://www.ablackwebdesign.com Ayanna

Thanks Loretha!

Tiya

Yes! I love this.

http://www.ablackwebdesign.com Ayanna

Thanks Tiya!

Soulchild04

First I would like to show appreciation to the women and men that read these topical articles and actually apply the advice through work at home within the relationship. Makes it worth while to the writer as well as the recipient.
Second, I like to thank the Ayanna for keeping such matters in the forefront to help motivate those that are questioning themselves, their relationship or spouse. Please continue to do what you do. Be blessed

http://www.ablackwebdesign.com Ayanna

Thanks Soulchild04! It is encouraging to the writers to know that the material we bring forth is helping someone!

Be Blessed