What’s The Most Overrated Date Experience?

Relationships

by Tara Pringle Jefferson | on March 21st, 2011 | 11 comments

by Tara Pringle Jefferson

A marriage education group I follow on Facebook posted the following question: “What the most overrated place to have a date?”

Hands down, the majority of people said the classic dinner and movie. “What’s the point?” one commenter said. “You can’t talk, can’t see each other.”

This question caught my eye because my husband and I just bought tickets to go see Melanie Fiona and Marsha Ambrosius in concert in a couple weeks. We hardly ever get a chance to go see artists live because, living near Cleveland, artists sometimes skip our city or the ticket prices are too high for us to go.

So we generally do a simple dinner and a movie for our date nights, whether the dinner is getting some Chipotle to bring home or sitting down at a restaurant, and the movie is either at the theater or a Redbox/Netflix pick-up. We’re working on switching it up (hence the concert) but I thought it was interesting that so many people were quick to throw dinner and a movie to the side. It’s a popular date night option because almost everyone has at least one restaurant in a 10-15 mile radius, and one movie theater they could go to, or Netflix or On Demand options. It’s easy, it’s convenient and it’s semi-affordable. What’s not to love?

But as the one commenter pointed out, watching movies are somewhat singular experiences, at least while the movie is going on. You’re kind of watching what’s going on, but not really talking or connecting until the movie’s over. At home, my husband and I are more talkative but at the theater, we’re generally pretty quiet, which means at least half the date is spent together in semi-silence.

Other commenters said that it’s impossible for any date to be overrated because inherently, “dates” mean you get to spend time with those you care about. So who cares what you do or where you are?

So BMWK family, tell me: What do you think is the most overrated date experience? What’s the most underrated? Is it even possible for any date to be overrated?

Tara Pringle Jefferson is a freelance writer, blogger and PR professional living in Ohio with her husband and two kids. She’s also Managing Editor of BlackAndMarriedWithKids.com. Follow her on Twitter or check out her blog for her insights on what it means to be a mom, wife, student, writer, and about three other labels she’s too tired to remember.

About the author

Tara Pringle Jefferson is managing editor of BlackAndMarriedWithKids.com. She’s also the author of Make It Happen: The Young Mommy Guide To Creating The Career You Crave. Follow her on Twitter or check out her blog for her insights on what it means to be a mom, wife, student, writer, and about three other labels she’s too tired to remember.

Christina

I love going to movies with my husband. Sure, you can’t talk about it IN the movie theater (though we will share quick side comments). However, we enjoy talking about the movie during the car ride home and sometimes long after if the movie is thought-provoking. There is intimacy in shared experience. So, I don’t think it could be overrated at all – but we are also the couple that considers it a fruitful date night when we take our son’s out to eat…
Lisa

I think dinner and a movie is overrated for a first or second date when you’re just getting to know each other and are not married. The dinner (or lunch) part is fine, but with a movie, you’re spending up to three hours failing to interact with each other… and if you’re not getting in the car together after that, to me, that’s just three wasted hours.

Now in a marriage, I think that dinner and a movie are a great idea. My husband and I enjoy each other’s company and we don’t need to have action-packed dates to keep us entertained. We enjoy eating and talking about the movie after it’s over, so I think dinner/movie dates are fine for people who know each other well and need an escape from the everyday.
Amber

I think the only way a date can be overrated is if it’s the same date EVERY time. Same movie theater, same restaurant, same…everything. It’s good to switch it up once in a while! I like going to see a good movie with my husband and discussing it later at dinner. We love to use yelp.com to find new restaurants in our area, so that we have a variety of experiences. All in all, whatever you’re doing – as long as you’re doing it together as an investment in your marriage, it’s worth it. Date night rocks! lol
kay

Well I have not dated in a long while, but my date nite would be me cooking a nice home cooked meal then heading out to a nice little Jazz club.
http://twitter.com/RuleYourWife Reggie Williams

I wholeheartedly disagree. Let me take this from a different angle. If I was in the hospital unable to speak, my day would be brigther at the very moment my wife walked into my room. The power of her presences oftentimes says more than anything she could say vocally. Now back to the movie. The conversation in the car, sharing our different perspective of what we glean from the movie is the demonstration of two spirits coming together as one.

http://www.ruleyourwife316.com.
Jonesi

I actually think movies are a great way to engage. Most people feel awkward from the forced conversations that go along with traditional dinner date scenes – not even just new couples. IMO (some) movies provide a solid topic of discussion and you learn alot about a person based on the movie genres they prefer and their viewpoints of movies you watch together. I actually still learn alot about my husband based on the movies we watch together. Movie discussions have been some of the best convos we have. It takes the pressure away of forcing a topic.

I do have a date suggestion – clay painting. We had such a great time at this place painting our pieces and talking (we took our Godson) and I’ve been wanting to go back alone one day. Plus you get to bring your artwork and see it as a reminder daily of a wonderful couple’s outing.

Tara, I’m thinking about going to that came concert when they come here in two weeks. Tell me how you like it. We just went to see Kem, Ledisi and Musiq Soulchild recently and it was GREATNESS!

http://theyoungmommylife.com Tara Pringle Jefferson

@Jonesi – You went to the Kem concert? JEALOUS!! I was mad we missed it so I snapped up some Marsha tickets quick!

I generally fall on the “It doesn’t matter what we do” side because I crave date night like no other after a spending all week alone with the kids!

http://www.lashondanicole.blogspot.com FirstladyShonda

OMG! I enjoy any date with my hubby! A movie and dinner is a great date to me! lol Especially, if it is a good movie. But, any quality time alone is a good date. Even if it means a movie night at home and snuggling, with the kids gone. To me a date is what you make it! If you like spending time with your mate, you should be able to go just about any where and make it a good time! It is all about being creative and having good conversation.
TheMrs

Dinner and a movie was our staple date for a while because of our other responsibilities. On the ride home we would talk about the movie and we were not allowed to talk about the mundane parts of our life (i.e. don’t forget to grab pull-ups, meeting at the school on Tues., etc.). Right about now I would LOVE to go see a movie but we have time constraints…
7comeseeme

I don’t think it’s the date
that is underrated. I think it’s the intention behind the date
selection that is underrated. If you go on a “dinner & movie” date
because it’s the easiest solution and you can get it over and done with,
then yeah that is pretty lame. But if you and your spouse love movies
and enjoy the experience of seeing a movie, then having an intimate
dining experience where you discuss your thoughts on the movie, that is a
great date. It’s the intention of the date that matters. If your
intent is to spend some quality time with your spouse, and give each
other your attention and energy exclusively while sharing an experience,
then you can make any outing a great date. From 5 star dining to
parking at the airport to watch the planes take off and land – the right
intention makes it all good.
Jeannine

It depends on the level of intimacy in the relationship. A more silent date, dinner and a movie, can be awesome if the two are connected and love their time together. Most times there is a conversation happening in the silence. Example, the I adore you glance or smile, kisses, sitting closely, cuddling, differently communicating which does not have to be with many word. On the other hand a newer relationship that is gaining or one that just dos not have that intimacy level may be a awkward or overrated on those dates until the couple gets to that deeper place of intimacy. Needless to say I think no date/time with my husband is overrated.