Rant: My Husband Will Never Get A Hall Pass From Our Marriage
by Charli Penn
Last Friday we went to see the new marriage comedy Hall Pass at the theater. The premise of the film is that two wives (played by Christina Applegate and Jenna Fischer) give their horny frustrated husband’s a one week “hall pass” from their marriages. Giving them seven days to not be married and do anything they want to do. Flirting, sex, binge drinking, you name it, it was all a go. (Not kidding!)
The women did this based on the idea that giving a man one week to get what he thinking he’s missing out of his system will essentially make him miss it no more. Um, only on Planet Movie does that even remotely make sense! Spoiler alert: In the movie the wives realize the hall pass was really for them to get a break from their bitchy husbands and a test to see if they were really happy in their marriages. Now this concept I found to be even sillier. Since when does a woman need to let her man roam free from responsibility to decide whether or not he’s the one for her? I’m thinking maybe she should have thought about that before she get married!
Interestingly enough The Man laughed his way through the entire film while I dozed about halfway through. I found the entire plot line to be so implausible that it bored me to pieces, while my husband was just a tad bit more amused than I’d like. I’ll give him a pass on finding the idea to be entertaining, but if he thinks he’ll ever get a “hall pass” from our marriage, he can most certainly think again.
To me, although marriage is hard work and often complicated, how we arrive there is a lot simpler and can be summed up like this: If a man asks you to marry him it’s because he’s decided that he knows enough about you, and life with you, to know that he wants to spend the rest of his by your side. He’s decided that he doesn’t want to love anyone else but you, or sleep with anyone else but you. That’s a big decision, but the rules that come with it are clearly not that hard to gather.
So, I ask, why on earth would he go ahead and say “I do” only to ask “do I really?” years or months later? Be sure before you make the commitment buddy! So you’re frustrated that you don’t get to be “intimate” as much as you’d hoped, or you’re mad that you spend more time chauffeuring around the kids than watching the game? Didn’t you do your research before you married your wife? That sort of undesirable stuff comes with the territory!
But remember boys, there’s a lot of great stuff that comes along with marriage too. In fact, more good than bad! (Think: A cuddle buddy for life, a best friend, an in-house cheerleader, and of course love!) So what on earth would you want a hall pass for? You signed up for a class that never ends honey. So grab a seat, get comfortable, and start taking notes so you can ace the test! Okay?
Originally published on Man Wife and Dog blog. Republished with permission.
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