What Sexy Is

BY: - 16 Mar '11 | Relationships

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Idris Elba. Boris Kodjoe. Djimon Hounsou. And oooooh”...Denzel.

Yes, yes, ladies. You know exactly where I’m going with this one.

What woman hasn’t found herself all hot and bothered by these subtly provocative brown-hued brothers? The mischievous eyes, those succulent lips, the chiseled-from-stone jawlines. Good grief, just the notion of their touch is enough to get our juices flowing”...literally.

Now, I don’t personally know any of the aforementioned pieces of hot chocolate, but I hope, for their ladies’ sake, that their sexy runs deeper than the surface. While I have met many a fine man in my lifetime, too many of them need to call Timbaland and Justin Timberlake to inquire how to get their sexy back.

My momma always taught me that you need more than good sex to keep a man. In the same vein, a man needs more than good looks to keep his sexy.

We’ve all read many a magazine where they go on and on about how intelligence is sexy, power is admirable, etc.   While unabashedly accurate, this ain’t that kind of article. I’m talking about the nuances, the knowledge possessed, the actions displayed.   Allow me to explain.

One of the sexiest things I’ve ever seen was back when I was dating my professional chef husband, who, at the time, diagnosed that my car was jerking when I drove because it had too much transmission fluid in it. He removed the whatchamacallit, drained the thingamajig, picked around here, prodded there and poof! Like magic, my whip was back to running the way it was supposed to. I realize how simplistic this task sounds, but fellas who actually know something about something are intriguing. Maybe because I’d previously dealt with so many that didn’t even know their right from their left”...but I digress.

What I’m saying is that it’s the little things that make a man sexy. Think about it. We all have seen and been turned on by “the walk”””the individually specific way a guy walks can take us from independent black women to ladies in heat in the blink of an eye.

What about when your man knows he’s finally gotten on your last friggin’ nerve of the day and he sincerely apologizes without coercion and without sarcasm? How sexy is it for a man to admit his wrongs”...and without excuses, no less?

When, every evening, he begins making your lunch for the next work day because he understands how tired you are from all the recent stress at your job. When he can’t stand that lavender and mustard-colored argyle sweater you bought for him, but he wears it because he knows it make you smile. When he tolerates your gossipy, overly-nosy girlfriends without complaining about them all the time. When you know he loves his mother so much that he has the ability to love you with all his heart, because he’s a man and not a momma’s boy.

Good looks are great but a good man is even better. Some may opt for one or the other, but not me. Call me greedy, but give me both. I mean seriously, what good is having cake if you can’t eat it too?

Gwen Jimmere is an award-winning and nationally syndicated editor who authored the relationship manual for young women,  If It Walks Like a Duck”...and Other Truths My Mother Taught Me. She blogs about relationships, dating, marriage and parenting at  The Duck Walk and works in social media/digital marketing.

About the author

Gwen Jimmere wrote 15 articles on this blog.

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12 WordPress comments on “What Sexy Is

  1. Denene

    LOVE THIS! Ain’t NOTHIN’ sexier than a man who recognizes when his woman is tired, and just takes over so that she can catch a break. #hewouldbemymanallday

    Reply
  2. Denene

    LOVE THIS! Ain’t NOTHIN’ sexier than a man who recognizes when his woman is tired, and just takes over so that she can catch a break. #hewouldbemymanallday

    Reply
  3. Simone

    yeah, i find it VERY sexy when my husband fixes something! don’t have to go thru the whole…who- do-we-call? or how-much-is-it-gonna-cost? thing

    Reply
  4. Simone

    yeah, i find it VERY sexy when my husband fixes something! don’t have to go thru the whole…who- do-we-call? or how-much-is-it-gonna-cost? thing

    Reply
  5. TheImageCoach

    LOVE this article – and yes, I am blessed to have a man that is “all that”…sexy as can be, handy around the house, and unafraid to stretch out and DO something! He is my rock, my best friend, my lover and a man I would admire even if I wasn’t married to him.

    Reply
  6. Jaenikol

    Ummm…I thought independent black woman and lady were synonymous ….not that lady was a step back. Hmmm smh on that one but otherwise good points

    Reply
  7. Rubygriffin36

    sexy is within,how you feel about each others, It’s not all about the body frame,it’s about loving who you with,and he loving you back,and loving self…If he make you smile that sexy,If he make you laugh that sexy,If you feeling him,he feeling you,then everything y’all do together is sexy…

    Reply
  8. Rubygriffin36

    sexy is within,how you feel about each others, It’s not all about the body frame,it’s about loving who you with,and he loving you back,and loving self…If he make you smile that sexy,If he make you laugh that sexy,If you feeling him,he feeling you,then everything y’all do together is sexy…

    Reply
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