6 Questions To Ask If You Think You’ve Found “The One”
By Desiree S. Coleman
So you’re dating that special someone and now you’ve reached the “butterflies in stomach” status and the “I think about you all the time” phase of your relationship. You have been together for a while and now you’re asking yourself the quintessential question: Have I found “The One”? Well, here’s your answer. Use these 6 questions to assess if your honey is a keeper or if it’s time to start packing.
1) Are you growing as a result of the relationship?
A mate who is worth keeping will enhance your qualities and contribute to your growth. Consider your level of personal, spiritual and emotional growth at the time that you met your mate and compare that to present day. When you’ve found the one, you’ll notice how they’ve helped you to grow in all areas.
2) How are you when you’re around your mate?
Your mate should bring out the best in you – period. If you find yourself slipping into unhealthy behaviors or doing things out of your character when you’re with your honey, then it’s definitely time to take inventory. Your best qualities should shine through in your relationship and if they don’t, then chances are this one is not “The One.”
3) What do your friends and family say?
Do you find yourself uttering phrases like, “It’s just me and you against the world, baby” or “Can’t nobody understand our love”? If so, you might want to just walk away slowly. Believe it or not, there is value in the opinion of your closest family and friends because your inner circle knows your character,vulnerabilities, weaknesses and qualities. If you’re constantly defending your relationship to your inner circle, then chances are folks see something that you can’t see now. Don’t just chalk it up to having “haters,” but carefully consider their concerns.
4) How do you relate?
On a scale of one to 10 (where 10 is the highest) – rate your ability to trust your mate; the quality of your open and honest communication; the degree to which you feel supported in the relationship and your level of respect for their character. If you don’t have at least 7 in all categories, then those are red flags.
5) Do your interests and beliefs match up?
Are you and your mate growing the same direction? Do your moral, personal and spiritual beliefs align? Do your lifestyles and long-range goals mesh nicely? Do you hold the same ideals on family, home-life and children? Does your mate even want to get married in the near future? These can be deal-breakers so take the time ask the hard questions.
6) Are you compatible?
Is your relationship characterized by drama and conflict? Arguing and fighting? Are you in a cycle of break-up to make-up? If so, chances are you have not found the winner.
Desiree S. Coleman is a newlywed on a mission to help others have healthy and whole relationships. Her blog, www.thelovejourney.com, is dedicated to offering a fresh perspective on love, dating andrelationships.
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