Does A Longer Commute Wreak Havoc On Your Marriage?
At different points in our marriage, my husband and I have held a variety of work arrangements. At one point he was working full-time, I was working part-time. A couple months later we were both working full-time. Life was hectic for a while until I got laid off, and became a career working from home.
Looking back at everything, I definitely feel like our relationship was under the most stress when we were both working full-time. Even with the stress of my sudden transition to a work-at-home mom, things were still much smoother than they were when we were both out of the house for 8+ hours a day.
Part of the reason is my commute was unbearably long some days. On a good day, it took 45 minutes to get to work. Factor in rush hour traffic and Cleveland winters and that time would expand to 2+ hours, easily. On days with a long commute, I would come home irritated, tired, and sore. Dinner would be late, the little things that the kids would do bugged me to no end, and I would look at my husband sideways if he even thought about venturing on my side of the bed that night.
Now a new study out of Sweden seems to back up what we (and other couples will long commutes) go through. Couples in which one partner commutes for longer than 45 minutes are 40 percent likelier to divorce. Researchers don’t point to a reason why, but I can already guess. If you’re spending two hours a day in the car, in addition to the 8 or 9 hours you’re putting in at work, that’s a huge energy drain. And that’s only if one person has a long commute.
Now that I work from home, the stress in the house is much better. It hasn’t gone away completely (there’s only so much you can do on those days when the kids fuss from dawn til dusk), but I don’t have that lethargic feeling I did after sitting in the car all afternoon. I save money by not buying gas every four days. It fits for us.
BMWK, how has your commute impacted your relationship? Any work-from-home couples out there – how does that arrangement have an impact on your marriage?
Add a comment
Comments (7)