You Get What You Get and You Don’t Pitch a Fit
by Ronnie Tyler
This past Saturday, we planned to spend the afternoon chilling at the neighborhood pool. After everyone put on their swimsuits and sun block, I went downstairs to pack us a lunch to take with us to the pool. So I asked the kids, “What type of sandwich do you want -ham and cheese or peanut butter and jelly?”
That was a big mistake.
They all took a few moments (hemming and hawing) and finally two of the girls selected ham and cheese and the other chose peanut butter and jelly. And it was downhill from there as all of the special requests started pouring in.
“I don’t want any mayo on my sandwich!”
“I don’t want any edges on my bread!”
“I want two sandwiches and only mayo…no mustard!!” That one came from Lamar 
As I was making the sandwiches, my nine-year-old sat on a stool at the island with a frown on her face. I asked, “What’s your problem?” She said, “I don’t want mayo on mine.” I told her that I did not make hers yet.
Lamar chimed in and said: “She ought to make all of them with mayo.”
My daughter said: “I bet you did not like mayo when you were a kid either.”
That made me think and say: “I don’t think we had a choice. We ate what my mom fixed. And if we did not like it, then we did not eat.” Of course my daughter could not relate. She looked at me as if I just told her that when I was a child, I had to walk five miles to school in the snow. It totally went over her head.
This scenario gets worse when we go to the drive through. And God forbid Lamar is driving – it’s pandemonium. We have four kids, and they all are yelling up different requests…no cheese on mine, no ketchup, no pickles. I want apples instead of fries. Please add bacon to mine. Scraaaaaatch...stop the record. Did someone have the nerve to ask for bacon…You do know that costs extra…..right? By the time we pull off from the drive through, Lamar is mad, I am frazzled, and the kids are in trouble. It’s a mess.
And given that our oldest is 18, you would think that I would have learned by now. They don’t have to have so many options!
And Grandma already knows the deal. When she takes the kids out, she doesn’t want to hear any of that special order stuff. “You get what you get and you don’t pitch a fit.” (That’s what our 4 year old’s preschool teacher taught her.)
Lamar says the kids get their pickiness from me, because I am always asking for light sauce, no pickles, hold this and hold that. But hey, I paid my dues because I did not have those options when I was a kid…so now that I am a paying adult (key word is “paying”) I can now exercise my freedom to choose.
But my little my chick-a-dees are in for a little surprise this summer because mama has a new motto – “You get what you get and you don’t pitch a fit.”
BMWK family – Is there any harm in giving the kids options? Do you think that there is value in the kids learning to be satisfied with what they get (even if it’s not what they want?)
Lamar and Ronnie Tyler are the creators of the award-winning blog BlackandMarriedWithKids.com. They also are behind the Amazon.com bestselling DVDs Happily Ever After: A Positive Image of Black Marriage, You Saved Me and their newest film Men Ain’t Boys that explores manhood in the African American community. The Tylers are also the proud parents of four children.
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