Trip To The Altar: Marrying A Man At War

If you’ve been following the site for a while you know that once a year we pick a soon-to-be bride and chronicle her trip to the altar. As spectators we get an inside look at the highs and lows of pulling together the biggest day of their lives. This year I personally selected a good friend and former coworker Cherise Adkins. She’s been a big supporter of the site (even pre-engagment) and you could find her and fiance Darius at any event or screening that we hold in the DC area.

When I first approached Cherise we talked about her fiance Darius who was serving in Afghanistan at that time and how sharing her story of being engaged to a man that was deployed would give a candid look into military marriages. Well, on July 18th I was shocked to read a FB status that Darius had been seriously wounded in Afghanistan by an IED while on patrol. In total 7 were injured and two were killed during the explosion.

Immediately after hearing this I asked our Facebook Fan Page to pray on the behalf of Darius, this couple and their family and of course our online family answered the call from around the globe.  I shared those comments and prayers with Cherise who was uplifted by the show of support. She shared the first post she had already written and gave me permission to run it here on the site. Currently Darius is in critical condition undergoing multiple surgeries in San Antonio, TX. After reading please continue to pray for Darius and Cherise. Leave a few words of support and encouragement in the comment section to let her know that your thoughts are with her. Finally if you have anything available please consider making a contribution to the Cherise Adkins/Darius Johnson Fundraiser to ease the financial burden while she’s away from work in Texas with Darius. Any amount will help!

-Lamar (CoFounder BlackandMarriedWithKids.com)

by Cherise Adkins

My journey to bridal bliss began in February 2011 when my boyfriend of 18 months proposed to me.

It was a cold, crisp Friday morning in Maryland. I woke up and cracked open my laptop to check my email. I remember sitting on the edge of my bed, blurry-eyed and still wearing a head scarf and glasses. My web surfing was interrupted by a shout from the living room. It was Darius telling me that he had to run an errand and that he would be back soon. I was too drowsy to bother asking where he was going. Moments later, the front door shut behind him.

Forty-five minutes passed. I was still in my bedroom and hunched over my computer when I heard the front door open again. Seconds later, Darius came into my bedroom and kneeled down in front of the bed. He was holding a ring. It wasn’t just any ring – it was my dream ring. The one I had spotted inside a glass case at a jewelry counter weeks earlier. “Will you marry me?” Darius asked, staring upward with both knees planted firmly on the carpet next to my bed. “Yes!” I answering, instantly bursting into tears and thrusting my arms around him.

But soon my happy tears evolved into tears of sadness and worry. Five days after the proposal, Darius was sent to Alaska with the U.S. Army. In April, he was deployed to Afghanistan. We knew about his scheduled deployment. But nothing prepared us for the emotional challenges that come along with being separated and at war.

BMWK family let’s show her that we are here and that she has our full support. Don’t forget to leave a comment and then please consider making a contribution to the Cherise Adkins/Darius Johnson Fundraiser.


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Comments (118)

  1. NubianP6 Wednesday - 27 / 07 / 2011 Reply
    My prayers are with you and you husband during this difficult time. My husband is currently deployed on his third tour of Iraq, and I pray for his safety all day, every day. May God's grace and mercy sustain you during this ordeal....
  2. NubianP6 Wednesday - 27 / 07 / 2011 Reply
    My prayers are with you and you husband during this difficult time. My husband is currently deployed on his third tour of Iraq, and I pray for his safety all day, every day. May God's grace and mercy sustain you during this ordeal....
  3. Aja Dorsey Jackson Wednesday - 27 / 07 / 2011 Reply
    My family will continue to keep both of you in our prayers. May God give both of you the strength to make it through this difficult time.
  4. Aja Dorsey Jackson Wednesday - 27 / 07 / 2011 Reply
    My family will continue to keep both of you in our prayers. May God give both of you the strength to make it through this difficult time.
  5. Aja Dorsey Jackson Wednesday - 27 / 07 / 2011 Reply
    My family will continue to keep both of you in our prayers. May God give both of you the strength to make it through this difficult time.
  6. Selene Mapp Olivaria Wednesday - 27 / 07 / 2011 Reply
    Truly I know God to be a healer..and even when life hits us with it's hardest blows, God gives us the strength to endure. My prayer for you is to be encouraged and believe this to shall pass, My prayer for Darius is that God heals his body, my prayer for you both is to become one. May you both receive the blessing that God holds for you both...be encouraged.
  7. Selene Mapp Olivaria Wednesday - 27 / 07 / 2011 Reply
    Truly I know God to be a healer..and even when life hits us with it's hardest blows, God gives us the strength to endure. My prayer for you is to be encouraged and believe this to shall pass, My prayer for Darius is that God heals his body, my prayer for you both is to become one. May you both receive the blessing that God holds for you both...be encouraged.
  8. Selene Mapp Olivaria Wednesday - 27 / 07 / 2011 Reply
    Truly I know God to be a healer..and even when life hits us with it's hardest blows, God gives us the strength to endure. My prayer for you is to be encouraged and believe this to shall pass, My prayer for Darius is that God heals his body, my prayer for you both is to become one. May you both receive the blessing that God holds for you both...be encouraged.
  9. Direka Gordon Thursday - 28 / 07 / 2011 Reply
    Cherise, my name Direka Gordon. My husband is currently in Afghanistan as well. This just melts my heart and I'm crying as I type.this. I am praying for you and Darius! God will fix it.
  10. Direka Gordon Thursday - 28 / 07 / 2011 Reply
    Cherise, my name Direka Gordon. My husband is currently in Afghanistan as well. This just melts my heart and I'm crying as I type.this. I am praying for you and Darius! God will fix it.
  11. Direka Gordon Thursday - 28 / 07 / 2011 Reply
    Cherise, my name Direka Gordon. My husband is currently in Afghanistan as well. This just melts my heart and I'm crying as I type.this. I am praying for you and Darius! God will fix it.
  12. Martha A. Snowden Thursday - 28 / 07 / 2011 Reply
    May God's will be done in both of your lives, may you find the peace that surpasses all understanding , may you feel the presence of the Holy Spirit in your lowest moments and keep foremost in your mind that you are not alone and Darius is not nor was he ever alone at any time. God was with him and is with him now giving him comfort. We pray for healing and favor and guidance for the doctors and medical staff who are working on him, may he strengthen their focus skill and attention. Believe that it is already done !!!! I will pass on this prayer request to my church family as well They are some prayer warriors and will pray fervently and consistently Be blessed and know that you and Darius are carried in God;s hand and nothing is impossible
  13. Martha A. Snowden Thursday - 28 / 07 / 2011 Reply
    May God's will be done in both of your lives, may you find the peace that surpasses all understanding , may you feel the presence of the Holy Spirit in your lowest moments and keep foremost in your mind that you are not alone and Darius is not nor was he ever alone at any time. God was with him and is with him now giving him comfort. We pray for healing and favor and guidance for the doctors and medical staff who are working on him, may he strengthen their focus skill and attention. Believe that it is already done !!!! I will pass on this prayer request to my church family as well They are some prayer warriors and will pray fervently and consistently Be blessed and know that you and Darius are carried in God;s hand and nothing is impossible
  14. Martha A. Snowden Thursday - 28 / 07 / 2011 Reply
    May God's will be done in both of your lives, may you find the peace that surpasses all understanding , may you feel the presence of the Holy Spirit in your lowest moments and keep foremost in your mind that you are not alone and Darius is not nor was he ever alone at any time. God was with him and is with him now giving him comfort. We pray for healing and favor and guidance for the doctors and medical staff who are working on him, may he strengthen their focus skill and attention. Believe that it is already done !!!! I will pass on this prayer request to my church family as well They are some prayer warriors and will pray fervently and consistently Be blessed and know that you and Darius are carried in God;s hand and nothing is impossible
  15. Tiya Thursday - 28 / 07 / 2011 Reply
    Cherise, I am praying for your strength during this time of challenge and for Darius's healing. Please stay encouraged. One of my favorite songs says "God is able to do just what He said He would do, He is going to fulfill every promise to you. So don't give up on God and He won't give up on you, He's able!" Trust God at this time.  
  16. Tiya Thursday - 28 / 07 / 2011 Reply
    Cherise, I am praying for your strength during this time of challenge and for Darius's healing. Please stay encouraged. One of my favorite songs says "God is able to do just what He said He would do, He is going to fulfill every promise to you. So don't give up on God and He won't give up on you, He's able!" Trust God at this time.  
  17. Tiya Thursday - 28 / 07 / 2011 Reply
    Cherise, I am praying for your strength during this time of challenge and for Darius's healing. Please stay encouraged. One of my favorite songs says "God is able to do just what He said He would do, He is going to fulfill every promise to you. So don't give up on God and He won't give up on you, He's able!" Trust God at this time.  
  18. Shockandawe91 Thursday - 28 / 07 / 2011 Reply
    My prayers are with you and you fiancé. I was an active duty Air Force wife and many don't know the burden on family members left behind. But, know that God can protect and keep you and Darius. Defending our country is not easy but it's noble. I know he will have a speedy recovery and you all will live happily ever after.
  19. Shockandawe91 Thursday - 28 / 07 / 2011 Reply
    My prayers are with you and you fiancé. I was an active duty Air Force wife and many don't know the burden on family members left behind. But, know that God can protect and keep you and Darius. Defending our country is not easy but it's noble. I know he will have a speedy recovery and you all will live happily ever after.
  20. Svaindc Thursday - 28 / 07 / 2011 Reply
    Thank you so much for including the fundraising link Lamar! It is amazing to see how friends, family and complete strangers are supporting this amazing couple!
  21. Svaindc Thursday - 28 / 07 / 2011 Reply
    Thank you so much for including the fundraising link Lamar! It is amazing to see how friends, family and complete strangers are supporting this amazing couple!
  22. Svaindc Thursday - 28 / 07 / 2011 Reply
    Thank you so much for including the fundraising link Lamar! It is amazing to see how friends, family and complete strangers are supporting this amazing couple!
  23. Your sister in Christ Thursday - 28 / 07 / 2011 Reply
    Fear not, for I am with you; Be not dismayed, for I am your God, I will strengthen you, Yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:10 Our Father, Please comfort Cherise and Darius; Let them find comfort in you, your word and your spirit. Amen
  24. Your sister in Christ Thursday - 28 / 07 / 2011 Reply
    Fear not, for I am with you; Be not dismayed, for I am your God, I will strengthen you, Yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:10 Our Father, Please comfort Cherise and Darius; Let them find comfort in you, your word and your spirit. Amen
  25. Your sister in Christ Thursday - 28 / 07 / 2011 Reply
    Fear not, for I am with you; Be not dismayed, for I am your God, I will strengthen you, Yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:10 Our Father, Please comfort Cherise and Darius; Let them find comfort in you, your word and your spirit. Amen
  26. Tanika Jones Thursday - 28 / 07 / 2011 Reply
    My prayers are definitely going up for you all.  I command that Darius be healed in the Mighty Name of Jesus Christ! I will continue to keep you both lifted in prayer!
  27. Tanika Jones Thursday - 28 / 07 / 2011 Reply
    My prayers are definitely going up for you all.  I command that Darius be healed in the Mighty Name of Jesus Christ! I will continue to keep you both lifted in prayer!
  28. Tanika Jones Thursday - 28 / 07 / 2011 Reply
    My prayers are definitely going up for you all.  I command that Darius be healed in the Mighty Name of Jesus Christ! I will continue to keep you both lifted in prayer!
  29. Delano Squires Thursday - 28 / 07 / 2011 Reply
    Hey sis, I pray that God give you and Darius peace and strength during this time and that the bond between you two would grow stringer each day. I thank Darius for his service to our country and I'm sure he's thankful to have such a supportive sista by his side.
  30. Delano Squires Thursday - 28 / 07 / 2011 Reply
    Hey sis, I pray that God give you and Darius peace and strength during this time and that the bond between you two would grow stringer each day. I thank Darius for his service to our country and I'm sure he's thankful to have such a supportive sista by his side.
  31. Delano Squires Thursday - 28 / 07 / 2011 Reply
    Hey sis, I pray that God give you and Darius peace and strength during this time and that the bond between you two would grow stringer each day. I thank Darius for his service to our country and I'm sure he's thankful to have such a supportive sista by his side.
  32. FirstladyShonda Friday - 29 / 07 / 2011 Reply
    What a touching story! My heart goes out to you both! It is my prayer that God will continue to strengthen your union.  That God will supply each of your needs while he is gone.  Also, that he will send him home safely! Amen!
  33. Ayanna Friday - 29 / 07 / 2011 Reply
    Cherise my prayers are absolutely with you and Darius! Seeing your husband at less than 100% can be difficult I'm sure. But always know that God sees all and knows exactly what you can handle so please be encouraged :)
  34. Jackie Yesmarriageworks Miller Sunday - 31 / 07 / 2011 Reply
    Cherise and Darius... I touch and agree with you both….in the name of JESUS Our Lord and Savior, that it is exactly as the Word of God says….”No weapon that is formed against you shall prosper;” …..(Isaiah 54:17) The enemy comes to kill, steal and destroy…as he has looked in on your Blessing of pending marriage, sees how the Lord “is” and will use the 2 of you as examples….he’s mad and desires to sift you as wheat.  You continue to pray, fast and believe in your God.  It’s when you can still Praise Him in the midst of a storm; you realize that you depend completely on Him the creator, regulator, heart fixer, soul saver and “HEALER” that only He truly is.  LORD dooo it!....Dooo it…for them hmmm Lord Dooo it, Do it for them wright nooow!  Be encouraged……we are praying for you both.
  35. Brian Ling Wednesday - 10 / 08 / 2011 Reply
    Heavenly Father,   We honor and praise you for your greatness.  You are an all knowing, all powerful God, our God of divine healing and restoration.  We call on your power to provide healing, complete restoration, and all provision for my friend, Darius Johnson.  Lord, wipe away the trauma and scars of war from his mind, body, and spirit.  Grant Darius and his fiancé, Cherise Adkins, the desires of their hearts.  We pray that they are both covered with the whole armor of God. We trust in your infallible word and know that it is your will that this prayer is answered. May your grace be continually upon their lives. In The name of Jesus Christ we pray. Amen.   Darius and Cherise,   The Lord is with you always!  Know that the prayer above was submitted "unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us, unto him be glory..." (Ephesians 3:20-21)  Pray and trust in Him.   Sincerely, Brian Ling