What’s Your Definition Of A Provider?

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by Eric Payne | on September 27th, 2011 | 4 comments

Folks, let’s face facts: this new economy has taken the institution of marriage on a roller coaster ride. With joblessness at an all-time high, the traditional roles of mother/wife and father/husband have been challenged. Some stay-at-home moms are going back to work and men have taken up 24-hour residence in their homes, unable to find work in their fields of expertise or any field at all. In many instances women are becoming the breadwinners in their homes and men are becoming the caretakers. In some unfortunate circumstances both partners are home, hating that they are seemingly out of options and growing to hate each other in the process. The family structure has been forever altered and with the prospect of a double-dip recession looming in the near future this scenario isn’t likely to change anytime soon.

Like most longstanding traditions that we experience, the corresponding thoughts and ideologies supporting them are much slower to follow suit. Think of how long it’s taken racism to go away since the abolition of slavery—oh wait, though it’s no longer overt, racism hasn’t gone anywhere.

Money Doesn’t Equal Provision
Money isn’t everything but it sure does help. Money puts food on the table, a roof above our heads and keeps us clothed. Money can also be used to pay for prostitutes and to buy illegal drugs. Money is a means to an end. Money by itself does not corrupt. It gives the corrupt individual means and opportunity to do as he or she pleases. It is merely an enabler taking on the character of the person who possesses it. Being a provider is an aspect of a person’s character, not their income.

If the man who can’t provide financially jumps in with both feet to start managing the house and caring or the kids, he is providing. If he is out there filled with ambition, networking, volunteering, taking classes and generally trying his best to get back into the workforce, he is providing—for his and your collective futures. If, once he stops working, he starts caring more for you—cooking, being your cheerleader, being happy to see you walk through the door after a long day’s work, he is providing for your emotional well being. There is no price you can put on the value of these actions. No different than there should ever be a price placed on the intangible work that women, mothers and wives do everyday.

There are plenty of people who have money who do none of the above. Being the breadwinner doesn’t make you a provider. It’s what a person does with their time, talents and efforts for the good of those for whom they are responsible to serve.

BMWK, what is your definition of a provider?

About the author

Named a Top 50 Dad Blogger in 2011 by Cision Media, Eric writes about fatherhood, marriage and everything in between at Makes Me Wanna Holler – Man, Dad, Husband.

http://20andengaged.com Briana Myricks

A provider is someone who puts food on the table and puts/keeps a roof over your head. A provider is someone who supports you, emotionally, financially, spiritually, mentally and even physically. We put so much emphasis on money, and yes, while we need money, we also need so much more to keep a marriage/family together.
Amber

Great post! My husband lost his job two years ago and it definitely threw us for a loop. He told me recently that he has managed to keep his head up because of something I said to him early on. I told him, “You are more than a paycheck to me.” He found that to be very encouraging and gave him a new lens with which to view his role in our marriage. Two years and one baby later, he’s still an awesome husband and has become a rockstar Dadgineer (stay-at-home-dad and domestic engineer). This has by no means been an easy transition, but we’ve made the best of it. Together.
http://www.facebook.com/people/Tracy-Wright/100001635344094 Tracy Wright

A MAN BRINGS MORE TO THE TABLE THEN JUST FINANCIAL TO THE FAMILY AND THE HOME. HE BRINGS DISCIPLINE, GUIDANCE, DIRECTION, AND SECURITY. WOMEN NEED TO SUPPORT THEIR MEN MORE, AND STOP FOCUSING ON FINANCIAL ONLY.
Melody

This is a blog that needs to be read by every man n woman on earth, especially in the black community, because we suffer through the break-ups, make-ups, n so forth the most. In OUR communities we rarely see black men happy when they dnt have a job or don’t have as much income coming in as the woman may have, n that can lead to some very detrimental setbacks. If we, as MARRIED WOMEN, kno we have a good man at home n kno that not too long ago he was laid off but we kno he’ll eventually find something because we’ll have his back… we have to keep encouraging our MEN to become greater n do great things no matter what. We can’t always degrade them n make them feel less of a man because they lost their job or haven’t found any other employment since, we have to keep encouraging our spouses no matter what when it gets to this kind of thing in our lives. N I think that’s a BIG reason why so many marriages fail, because we want so much more out of our marriages expecting it to always be bomb.com that we forget to realize that marriage isn’t just about glam and fortune, but it’s also hard work and dedication in the long run when hell comes into the picture. So many divorce rates because no one’s willing these days to work it out, we’re all so quick to drop everything and go into the next. Sometimes I want to just hurt my husband because he makes me sooo mad but at the end of the day I have to think about what’s important and what’s really bothering me. Is it the fact that my husband won’t do what I ask him to do or is it the fact that he won’t do what I want him to do when i need him to do it?? And my husband and I are young, and he’s 3 years younger, so we BOTH have a lot of growing and developing to do in our marriage, our relationship, n our LIVES period it just takes time and effort.

GREAT POST!!