Black and Married With Kids.com – A Positive Image of Marriage and Family

Can a Seperation Save Your Marriage From Divorce?

Marriage

by  |  on October 6th, 2011  |  18 comments

From the Today show comes this video where a couple says that their separation saved them from getting a divorce.  Be sure to watch the entire video there is some good advice from a professional following the interview with the couple.

Personally I believe that separation should be the very last of the last resorts before proceeding with a divorce.  I also believe that most people use this as par-tay time when in actuality it should be a time to reflect on yourself and the huge decision that you are about to make. The professional in this piece also advised that you work with a counselor during the process to make sure you are focused. He also mentions the separation is the perfect time to examine yourself and the role that you played in your marriage.

Watch the video below then let us know whether or not you think a separation can save your marriage from divorce.


About the author

Lamar and Ronnie Tyler are the creators of the award-winning blog BlackandMarriedWithKids.com . They also are behind the Amazon.com bestselling DVDs Happily Ever After: A Positive Image of Black Marriage, You Saved Me and Men Ain’t Boys that explores manhood in the African American community. The Tylers are also the proud parents of four children.



Related Posts with Thumbnails

 
Add a comment

Comments (18)

  1. Aisha Greene Thursday - 06 / 10 / 2011 Reply
    Interesting... absence making the heart grow fonder theory
  2. Reginald Williams Thursday - 06 / 10 / 2011 Reply
    Did the separation reunite them or was it the caring, communicating and courting that returned to the marriage. Separation must be the last resort and must - as the expert stated - be done with a concrete plan. www.ruleyourwife316.com
    • Ronnie_BMWK Thursday - 06 / 10 / 2011 Reply
      I agree with you Reggie...I think this must  be the last resort
  3. Anonymous Friday - 07 / 10 / 2011 Reply
    i agree with the last resort thing. I think that sometimes we need a break from one another. EVERYONE who lives with someone for a long period needs a break from that other person. That can mean one night, a weekend, etc.  The thing with my wife and I is that we have hobbies. Those hobbies kind of make us stay away every now and again so we don't drive one another nuts. 
    • daddyshangout.com Friday - 07 / 10 / 2011 Reply
      I agree.  I will be honest if me and my wife was always together i'd go crazy! We have been together for 13 years and  we both know how to push each  others buttons.
  4. Tasha_soberekon Friday - 07 / 10 / 2011 Reply
    My husband and I have been separated for what is about to be 2 years at the end of December and all most every other day of every month I have tried to work out the issues that have affected him so badly that he no longer wants to be married to me.  I do not want to be without him and I feel like I am about to loose my best friend.  He says he has come to terms with things or us not being together, but how can you come to terms with anything when we have not discussed us or any issues, and the reason we separated in the first place.  We have been married for 10 years and have 2 young children.  I love my husband and I never even considered the possibility of ever being without him.
    • Forgivethem Friday - 28 / 10 / 2011 Reply
      visit the following site: http://rejoiceministries.org/
  5. Red06dgd Sunday - 09 / 10 / 2011 Reply
    A reminder to all stress kills.... Find away to relieve your stress... And relationships rank high on the scale.... I've been married 26yrs.... I hate trying to make this kind of decision...
  6. Rhondadorsey1 Monday - 10 / 10 / 2011 Reply
    I think separation is good if both are working on the issue. I have much respect to those who work on there marriage. Marriage is a serious commitment. I don't think people understand how serious it is.
  7. Roberts21 Monday - 10 / 10 / 2011 Reply
    I needed to see this. It is something I am considering. My husband and I were and still are seperated by careers. We live in defferent states and communicate at least every other day. I dont want to be separated. But to be an partner in this thing we have, I have to work. In the past we were separated by deployments. This last overseas tour, we just looked at as another deployment. When he came back this time, it all felt different. I dont feel vital or loved in this anymore. And I am the point mentally of asking is this all there is?? 
    • Terrell Monday - 10 / 10 / 2011 Reply
      Military life is hard, but when I had to deploy (currently in Afghanistan) my wife and I were on Skype daily. She was frustrated by her job situation and considered moving to a different state. I agreed, in the beginning. We went apartment shopping for me for my return after deployment and it just felt wrong.   I make enough money for the family but she wants her own career and the job situation is bleak in our town. We decided that our marriage and family was more important than money. "For what shall a man profit if he gains the whole world, yet loses his soul". My wife is my soul and I cant see being separated for a dollar. The two of you have to decide whats more important. 
  8. Alicia Grant Monday - 10 / 10 / 2011 Reply
    I've been separated for 5 years. I don't want to go back to the same nonsense. This person does not want to do better AND I can't do the dumbness forever. .Enough! Divorce it is. How long should one wait?
    • Forgivethem Friday - 28 / 10 / 2011 Reply
      visit the following site: http://rejoiceministries.org/
  9. Kimberly D Eskridge Monday - 10 / 10 / 2011 Reply
    I am currently considering separating/divorcing from husband. Our realtionship started off with a lie and now it is at times unbearable to be in the same house with my husband. He has lied, emotionally cheated with an ex wife, had a secret e-mail account with saved pictures of his genitalia on it. I mean the list goes on and on. The final straw was when he bashed me on Facebook and put his hands on me in front of my son. Now he wants to make like everything is ok and move on, but I can't see myself moving forward with this man especially after all of the lies and betrayal. After all of the lies that he has told, he  just can't seem to understand why I don't want to stay. It is somewhat difficult for me, because we are in a great ministry, but I can not fake how I really feel. I don't even want him touching me. At this time, I feel that if I do not leave this man, that my salvation will be at risk, due to all of the resentment that I have towards him, because of all of the hurt he has caused.
  10. Jennica Thomas Monday - 10 / 10 / 2011 Reply
    Before having a divorce think twice sort things out, some people feels they are out of love but the truth is they just forgotten how to appreciate the details of their marriage that's why marriage counseling is vital to help you relaize whether you still want to continue the marriage or just end it through divorce. Colorado Divorce Forms
  11. Forgivethem Friday - 28 / 10 / 2011 Reply
    Forgive them! God hates divorce! Visit the following site: http://rejoiceministries.org/. Sign up for Charlene Cares daily devotionals. Then seek God first and believe that he can restore your marriage. Nothing is impossible!
  12. Arnitafields Sunday - 27 / 11 / 2011 Reply
    This was a nice video because I can truly relate. My husband and I were separated for over three years after only three years of marriage. We came back together and have now been married over 14 years.