If your relationship is kind of rocky, or you’re coming off a huge argument, you have a few options to get your relationship back on track. You can spend a ton of money on counseling sessions, self-help books, or marriage seminars and hope that they work.
But if you haven’t done this one thing first, then you might not get too far in turning things around. What’s this one guaranteed thing?
This is not to say that YOU are the cause of all problems in your relationship. Please believe I would never say that. But what I am saying is that you have more control over the day-to-day temperature of your relationship than you think.
Think about it. Run through these two scenarios:
Alarm goes off at 6 a.m. Wife gets up, turns the alarm off and turns to her sleeping hubby. “He’s sooo not a morning person,” she thinks to herself. She opts to let him sleep for a few more minutes. She gets up and makes some coffee while running about her morning routine. She sees that his travel coffee mug is dirty, so she gives it a quick wash so he’ll be able to take some coffee with him to work. Husband wakes up at 6:40 and sees that his wife is already up. He sneaks up behind her and gives her a kiss on the back of the neck. She blushes. “Good morning, beautiful,” he says. “How did you sleep?”
Alarm goes off at 6 a.m. Wife gets up and turns the alarm off. She puts on some coffee and then goes about her morning routine. Husband wakes up at 6:40 and sees that his wife is already up. He gets up and gets dressed. They leave without exchanging a kiss or a “Have a good day.”
So which couple do you think is going to have a good day? Which couple feels more like you and your spouse?
Take the time to consciously set the tone for every interaction. Coming in the door after work tired and grumpy doesn’t not bode well for the rest of the evening. Fussing at your wife for taking too long to get dressed does not set the tone for a romantic date night.
Try it. Over the next 30 days, watch how you begin interactions with your spouse. Do you kiss them good morning? Do you kiss them good night? Do you hug them when they come home from work? Do you offer to help them put the groceries away? By putting the focus on your actions and what you bring to the relationship, I can guarantee you will see an improvement in your relationship.