What Relationship Advice Do You Give Children?
My daughters are currently too young to date and have boyfriends. However, that doesn’t prevent my husband from schooling them on how to handle the ups and downs of relationships as well as what qualities they should seek in a mate. Although I provide wisdom in this area, it has a greater impact coming from their father. We both our able to use our past experience as a guide for them, ensuring they don’t make some of those same mistakes. Our hope is to reduce the amount of heartbreak they will experience. Of course we can’t eliminate it completely, but we can guide them in making better choices from the beginning.
Being able to hear from a male perspective is a great benefit for the girls. Learning why some young men do what they do, what their motives really are and what a healthy relationship looks like are all valuable lessons that should be taught now. In addition to simply listening to this advice, our children also watch our actions. How my husband treats me weighs heavier than anything he could say. They will always be able to refer back to what daddy did and have some of those same expectations on the men they date and ultimately marry.
I am sure there are more words of wisdom shared between my husband and our daughters, but here are some of the more meaningful teachings:
Demand respect. A young man will only treat you the way you allow him to. This is huge. Since my girls were able to understand words, I have told them how valuable and worthy they are. I still build them up with empowering words. The great part is they believe me.
The first instance you sense something isn’t right, walk away. My husband shares this one often. He usually uses examples of those behaviors that might present a problem down the road, like being too possessive and insecure. With this one, they have a better understanding of what love doesn’t look like. They can’t be so afraid of being single that they will settle for just anyone.
Don’t be so easily impressed. Not allowing guys to sweet talk them into any and everything, and more importantly not being impressed by material things. We are teaching them to look for substance. What’s within is matters most.
I recognize some of what we’re teaching won’t always be applied in their early years of dating, because they will do what they want without regard to what we’ve said and they will let their heart be their guide instead of their parents. So of course there will be bumps along the road and we will have to be there to dry some tears. But as they mature and the relationships get a little more serious, we hope they will recall what their mom and dad presented and build a healthy relationship that brings them joy.
BMWK parents, what advice do you give your children about relationships?
Comments (14)