Some of us wouldn’t be caught dead talking to our boss the way we talk to our spouse.
We wouldn’t continue to watch TV or fiddle around on Facebook while our boss was talking to us. We wouldn’t roll our eyes and sigh if they asked us to do something.
We get comfortable in marriage. Sometimes too comfortable.
We forget that it’s a partnership. That pulling our weight and respecting the other person is our #1 role in the relationship. We forget the power that our words and actions have. We sometimes forget that this is what building a life together is about.
Do we take a moment at the beginning of the day to prepare for the day ahead? In the office, we usually have some sort of routine to ease us into the day: we get our coffee, check our email, maybe even say a quick prayer, or chat with co-workers. Do we approach our marriage with the same type of mindfulness? How many of us are grumpy and we know it, but we don’t apologize or are slow to correct ourselves? How many of us would be “fired” if marriage was a real job?
How can we be more mindful in our marriage, taking lessons from the workplace?
Double check your performance. If your marriage was a real job, how would you do in your performance review? Has your “work” been quality lately or are you phoning it in?
Don’t cut out early. We all know that phenomenon where once it gets close to 5 p.m., it’s darn near impossible to focus on work. So you spend twenty minutes mentally shutting down and transitioning to the next part of your day. How often do you find yourself doing this at home? You’re not quite finished with whatever your family has planned, but you’re already on to the next thing. Slow down and give your family that attention they’re seeking.
Soften your tone. When we find ourselves snapping at our spouses, it’s usually because we think we can without any consequences, unlike how it goes down at the office. “They know I’m kidding,” we tell ourselves. Or “They’ll forgive me.” But I think we all realize our spouses deserve more. Be sure to coat your words in honey before they leave your mouth.
BMWK family, what about you? Do you see a difference in how you act at work and how you act toward your spouse? How can you be more mindful of the very real role that your marriage plays in your life?
About the author
Tara Pringle Jefferson is managing editor of BlackAndMarriedWithKids.com. She\’s also the author of Make It Happen: The Young Mommy Guide To Creating The Career You Crave. Follow her on Twitter or check out her blog for her insights on what it means to be a mom, wife, student, writer, and about three other labels she\’s too tired to remember.
This is an awesome post! You are right about so many things here! We should all be mindful of how we treat those that we love. As you said, we wouldn't talk to our bosses a certain way so we should treat them with the same respect, even more than our jobs. The same goes for spending time with our loved ones. Something is wrong when a husband/wife spends overtime at their jobs "all the time" but are absent at home or rarely go out with their spouse and spend time with the kids. Using the excuse of "it's my job and i had to work" is not acceptable. Nor is coming in the house, greeting your family and then going straight to bed. This does not count as spending quality time together. Therefore, they should learn how to balance priorities in life and know that your husband/wife/kids are precious and should be first, even above your job.
I definitely could've been fired several times by my spouse, but it's something to work on. We have to work together and for the same goal. There are times when we're not on the same page, but we try to stay consistent.
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