What A Husband Loves About His Wife

BY: - 14 Nov '11 | Best of BMWK

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Okay so I can not speak for every man, everywhere, but can I just share a few things that just might encapsulate what husbands love about their wife? It is important that it is understood that this is a list by a husband, and for husbands to share about and with their wives. Why is that an important disclosure? Because this post is not about finding a woman, nor about sex (per se). It is not about relegating our love for our wives to their shape, or anything about their outer appearance. Rather it is about letting our wives know why and what we really love about them – on the inside and beyond the physical.

We as men are often thought to be singular in our approach and love for women. But if a man is married or committed to getting married, than his love for his wife is about so much more than the physical. Yes, our passions get riled up when you wear a black dress or get a new hairstyle. But the real lasting love we have for you as our wife comes from character and who you are on the inside (all of my Bible readers can look to 1 Peter 3:1-6):

1. Forgiveness. We love it when you forgive us. We all mess up, that’s male and female, but nothing is greater than knowing you have forgiven us for our mess ups. We “see” your love when you accept our apology and we can put it to rest.

2. Respect. Every man, at some point crosses the “I need to be respected” bridge. It is also true that every man defines respect differently. However you define it, let your wife know. Because it is an essential component of being a man. At its core, value the weight we bear. I know, you carry weight too, but for whatever reason, men see (my non-scientific opinion) respect as reciprocal.

3. Courtesy. We love to be asked to do something; it goes with knowing we are valued. But I don’t know any man that enjoys being told what to do. Please, Thank You, and Babe go along way.

4. Trust. Trust is hot. When you trust me and I trust you, what can come between us?

5. Openness. We love it when we don’t have to guess what is on your mind. Make us guess and we will get it wrong, tell us and we will know.

6. Unselfishness. Share your love and you will get the best of our love in return.

7. Understanding. We sometimes make wrong decisions, but we fall deeper in love with you when you understand that it does not make us any less a man.

8. Patience. Husbands lead but that role does not come with a manual. So please be patient with me. Knowing you are not watching my every move waiting to pounce on my “manhood” or weaknesses, makes me love you more, and relax into my role.

9. Listening. We are trying to tell you something. I have a different perspective, it may not make sense to you, but I love it when you listen to what I have to say, without me feeling it will be rejected before I even get done speaking.

10. Faith. Okay, this one is personal. My wife is at her hottest when she is praising the Lord! Hairdos, new bags, heels, and some nice clothes are cute but let me catch her in worship to God and I am done.

11. Humor. Life is so serious when we go outside of our home, but I need for things between us to be at a place where we can cut life’s tension with unbridled laughter.

Of course, most of these attributes are reciprocal. If we as husbands don’t initiate or display these same attributes than we should not expect them from our wives in return. At times we, husbands, can be silent about the intangible things we love about our wives. So today, tell your wife what you love about her, beyond the physical. Let her know, “I love it when you _________.”

So how about you BMWK what non-physical attributes do you love about your wife and have you ever told her?

About the author

Edward Lee wrote 65 articles on this blog.

Edward is a husband, father, founder of Elevate Your Marriage Marriage Coaching, author of three books: "Elevate Your Marriage", "Husbands, Wives, God" and "Husbands, Wives, God Weekly Devotions." He is also the Pastor of LongView Bible Church in Owings Mills, Md. Visit Edward's blog at: elevateyourmarriage.com

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39 WordPress comments on “What A Husband Loves About His Wife

  1. Niambi

    Thank you for this post!   It was beautifully written and so needed.   Often times we hear I love you but not the “why” behind it  and we need to not only know but  “hear”  it said to us that your love is  beyond just the physical but that you are in love with the totality and essence of who we are.

    Reply
  2. BK

    Great post! I am not married but I feel you on this one.No doubt we love the physical, but it is those intagables you listed that make us know we can take on the world and make it better for our wife and families. Bravo!

    Reply
  3. Lamar

    I love that my wife is a great partner not just in our relationship but in our business as well. I love to communicate ideas to her and to hear her thoughts on them along with the ideas that she has on her own. It truly makes me want to work even harder to achieve our goals and ambitions.

    I love the fact that she is an amazing a loving mother and nurturer. She has such a loving spirit I couldn’t think of a better mother for our children.  

    I also love that the woman can cook. That was one of the things I had on my list and I’m glad that I did.

    Reply
  4. Mrsimartini

    I really hope these ate the things my husband loves about me! Of not I will try harder… Because these are the things I love about him!

    Reply
  5. Pingback: What A Husband Loves About His Wife | Black and Married With Kids.com – A Positive Image of Marriage and Family « wtpdiaries

  6. Pingback: What A Husband Loves About His Wife « Love's Gumbo

  7. Cheryl

    I loved reading this, it goes both ways — men or women.   Also it doesn’t have to be black, white or whatever.   We have been married for 46 yrs. and this is just about everything that MDH and I have worked on in our marriage.   If you want a successful marriage just make a copy and frame and put it in an obvious place in your home to refer to when needed.

    Reply
  8. Cjohnson_874

    This is phenomenal! It’s so pleasing for me (as a woman) to know the thoughts that our men feel about us. It’s not merely the physical attirbutes but also the deep rooted intangible ones they appreciate too!

    Reply
  9. Angelia

    This is just beautiful.. Something I need to read because my mariage is going through a rocky road and this just made me understand some of what he is  saying but I am not willing to listen……Thanks so much….  

    Reply
  10. Ayomisst16

    This is beautiful.   Was on the other end of all this once upon a time.   In hind sight, when it was good (as described), it was the best…the absolute best.   My ex got all of the above from me as a wife consistently.   Without reading the stated “checklist” I knew I was a good person AND good wife.  

    Reply
  11. Chris Sr.

    On point, my brother! As a husband to the same wife for 34 years, we were divorced in our 2nd year, re-married about 6 months later, and on the verge of divorce several times since then. But the “tests” we’ve endured have given us both testimonies!

    Every trait rings true and the reciprocity is a must. My wife has the awesome trait of SELFLESSNESS! Over the years, she has continually shown that towards me even during the “valleys” we’ve gone through. She continues to put me and others before herself and more times than not, looks for nothing in return.

    I regularly pause and reflect on the things listed above as something will occur that brings it to light at that moment. When it happens, I smile on the inside and out – thankful, because for some CRAZY reason, she still loves and cares for ME!

    Wow! He who finds a wife (like mine’s) truly finds a GOOD thing!!

    Reply
  12. Pingback: A Husband’s List About What He Loves About His Wife « Natasha Foreman Bryant, MBA

  13. Tunde

    Wow! Wat a motivation it really re candle my relationship with my wife Tank U n guess wat after sharin it 2gerder we re set on fire

    Reply
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