New Supernanny, Deborah Tillman, Sets Families Straight

Parenting

by BMWK Staff | on December 8th, 2011 | 6 comments

Lifetime recently debuted their own version of ABC’s “Supernanny,” and they’ve picked Deborah Tillman, owner of three successful Virginia-based child care centers, to fill the lead role. How does she differ from the British Supernanny, Jo Frost? Read on to hear what she has to say about spanking and positive discipline:

Often society is so negative. Even when dealing with our children. When I go into these households, I can feel the negativity. I hear the parents telling their kids that they are dumb. Why are we using these words? Words are powerful. We’ve got to start at a young age because they understand it. They feel it. When you call them dumb and stupid, that’s the child you’re going to get.

When my son would act up, I would say to him, “You are too smart to act like that.” You’re letting the child know that you have high expectations. It’s building their self-esteem. You know what happens to kids who have low self-esteem? They grow up to be adults with low self-esteem and nothing good comes from that.

Often, I have to change the parents first and then work on the children. You have to model the behavior you want and you have to lead by example.

Read the rest of the interview here.

Have you caught any of the episodes on Lifetime? What did you think?

About the author

Content and articles from the staff and guest contributors of BlackandMarriedWithKids.com

Add a comment

Comments (6)

Simba Thursday - 08 / 12 / 2011 Reply

I have watched both episodes with Mrs. Tillman. She has a tough act to follow. Jo (as a nanny) worked within families. Mrs. Tillman (educator) works within an institution. She seems to show families how to run the households as daycare centers and that closemess of family is missing. She also seems in a rush to get out of the house. "We don't have much time" The heels and pearls may be her trademark but it comes off cold.
Kimberly/Foodie City Mom Thursday - 08 / 12 / 2011 Reply

I saw the one with the six kids (including 2 y.o. quadruplets). I thought that she would encourage them to get a mother's helper, but I was pleasantly surprised to see that the practical help that she provided helped so much. With all of those kids, it made sense to run the home like a daycare!
Doniesha Sunday - 18 / 12 / 2011 Reply

I am currently watching the show and I have seen older episodes. I personally think that when you are a stay at home parent you have to sorta run the house like a daycare. I am a single mom and I work full time. My son has been at the same daycare for almost 3 years. Daycare has structure and discipline. It is prepararing him for when he gets in elementary school. I know if I was a stay at home home there would be no structure what so ever. We would just go about the day. That is exactly what majority of these parents are doing.
- Arabesque2010 Thursday - 29 / 12 / 2011 Reply
  
  I agree with you. A lot of the parents on all of the Supernanny shows seem to just go about a day and try to "tackle things as they come" as opposed to taking the necessary steps to prevent things from spiraling out of control in the first place. Major problem. I don't understand why there shouldn't be structure whether a child is at home with a parent or at a daycare center. Kid's need to be taught structure, discipline, AND love (don't forget those x's and o's!!) wherever they are. How else will they learn? If it's only reinforced at daycare, that may not be enough. I've also noticed from doing work in both daycare and as a nanny that in a daycare there can be less structure and discipline depending on who is running things. Yes there are a lot of planned activities etc, but bottom line, a child learns best when it's coming from the parents as well. That's any lesson. I am not at all bashing daycare in anyway either. I think it is good and necessary for kids to be around other kids. I myself was raised (very very well) by a full time single mother. I went to daycare. So I support them. My point is just structure needs to be taught from parents as well. That's very important. In my job as a nanny I so often work with kids and their parents who leave it just to me to do the structure part. It drives me nuts. It makes my job harder because I'm trying to teach it, and the parents don't. It also makes the parent's job as the parent harder. The kids get older and learn what they can "pull" with the nanny or daycare provider and "get away with" when it comes to the parents, and before long they get bold enough to decide to defy the parents as well. So I don't think that Deborah should teach the parents how to run the household like a daycare necessarily. Yes, we may see some similarities with many children in the home, but the major difference is that a lot of daycare provider's can't provide the amount of love, care, nurturing, and overall just the way you feel about your child. With you, your child isn't just apart of the group or one of many. Perfect timing to teach them things. Plus life lessons are best learned and reinforced by parents. Structure just another part of the loving we love to give the kiddies!
Granprix49 Monday - 26 / 12 / 2011 Reply

1 thing I don't like is the Title of the show , first of all Mrs. Tillman isn't a NANNY, yes she owns 3 child care centers, and yes when needed she jumps right in , she is a great SPEAKER, and she know's what shes talking about and knows what shes doing, but the title saysa SUPER NANNY, she isn't changing Diapers , or feeding kids, she is like the Guidance counselor, NOT SUPER NANNY,
Arabesque2010 Tuesday - 27 / 12 / 2011 Reply

I am watching the latest episode right now. The show will be over in 3 mins and nothing has changed as far as behavior in the children or the parents. Deborah is not tough enough on the parents either. Kids don't just get that way out of the blue. There was a lack of discipline on the parents part all along. As a nanny myself, this can be very common. Deborah was chumming it up with the parents a lot of time, is teaching the parents to give their kids boundaries with a cow bell, the parents still seem to have learned nothing, and the kids are still swearing and fighting maniacs. Deborah also I noticed seems to be shocked by a lot of things that have been seen a million times on Jo's version of the show and common issues among families with no control and discipline. She spent so much time feeling sorry for the mother that she barely taught her anything. This was unarguably an extremely unsuccessful episode. I'm not saying parenting is easy at all (I grew up more disciplined and loved than a lot of people and my mother was a single mom and full time business woman. Did an excellent job and we're extremely close.). I am young with no kids, but a long day at work as a nanny is rough. But a lot of this is COMMON FREAKING SENSE!! Come on Deborah! Do something! Mom? Clearly yes. Business woman? Also yes. Nanny? Frick no.