Ask For What You Want From Your Spouse

I agree but so hard. S mother would have slap him upside the head and said “you know better.” he does.

   The article is
very interesting and believe it or not I openly admit I am that type of man
that value communication because I have a tendency to drift from one thing to
another at the spur of a moment, which I call multitasking. However, as human
beings we sometimes fall short of picking up on pertinent signals sent from our
spouses. In fact, the article can be broken down into several facets. First,
our unintentional acts towards our spouses, which takes us back to the title of
the article. Secondly, communication is a Godly matter that we sometimes fail
to incorporate into our marriages. Third, communication can help spouses avoid
problems that can arise from wrong assumptions.

    I am okay with
my wife and our children openly telling me what they want and need. Now don’t
get me wrong I try to be attentive to certain things like gestures and voice
tones from them as well as trying to stay connected enough with them to observe
obvious things. For example, I typically can notice whenever my sons are getting
sick or my wife is having a rough day. However, I occasionally miss the marks
of observation. In fact, I believe it is unfair for men or women to try to
start arguments about things that we think the other person should know such as
the examples I just illustrated. Yes, some things are apparent but we must
understand that we live in a rat-race world whereas we are juggling many roles
simultaneously no matter how attentive we try to be to our love ones we are still
imperfect human beings. Basically, we are not void of missing something as it
relates to the attentiveness of our spouses, which in my case is unintentional.
Therefore, communication is the primary key to building a successful
relationship.

    The article can
be understood theologically by thinking about our relationship with God, which
is the primary example for marriages. For example, wives-husbands are the
bridegrooms to each other and are symbolically examples of the church as it is
to God. Just imagine if God never communicated his instructions, directions,
and order to us it is possible to think that we were perfect. Of course I could
provide numerous biblical scriptures to validate that point but I will defer
that action in order to avoid this paper from becoming a mere theological
exposition. In fact, this example is evident in our everyday life living whether
we embrace it or not even without making references implying our needs to study
the Holy Bible and prayer. Simply put, we don’t know it all and will never
fully master everything no matter how many similar lessons we have learned
along the way thus validating the need for open lines of effective communication,
which adds value to best interests of the marriage. Oftentimes we as human
beings tend to take the high road that everything is fine if we are feeling
fine and haven’t been told otherwise as it relates to communication in the
marriage.

    Effective and
open communication coupled with comprehensive understanding covers a multitude
of potential problems in marriages. For example, I remember in the early years
of my marriage before I understood the importance of effective and open
communication I paid off some bills from the joint checking account and my wife
purchased some shoes for one of our sons during the same period. Well guess
what happened? The account went into the negative. Now who was wrong me or her?
Neither! Why because I thought to myself that bill needed to be paid because
the money was there while my wife felt a need to buy the shoes for the same
reason. Let me take it further. We was charged a $35 non-sufficient fee for the
transaction, the bill transaction was returned and the vendor charged us their
$25 return check fee, and me and my wife got into an argument. Not only were we
out $60 in fees not counting the cost of the bill but we created a stressful
situation in our house, which spilled over to our children thus making them
more specifically my young son felt a sense of guilt because the shoes were for
him. Although this story is extreme, it still created multiple problems because
of one main reason. We assumed the other spouse knew about our need to spend
monies on this or that versus simply communicating with each other. In fact,
the bill could have waited and the purchase of the shoes could have waited
until another pay period. The example can also be applied to breakdowns in education,
business, church, and other day-to-day facets that occur in our ever-changing world.
  

    In conclusion I
agree with the article and I will play on the side that men are fickle, which I
validate because I am a man, whereas men tend to react to things our wives say better
whenever the wants and needs are clearly articulated hence the paragraph on
effective and open communication. Dr. Edwin Louis Coles states,
“Communication is the key to life” (taken from an excerpt from Maximized Manhood of the Manhood 101 series, Ed Cole Library
2007). So don’t be afraid to tell your spouse what you want because the secret
that is often untold is your spouse or better yet significant other should be
your best friend forever (bff). Spouses should understand each other’s lack of
imperfection by telling each other what they want. Additionally, married
couples should remember correlating examples such as God’s communication
efforts to us in so many forms. Finally, communication will serve as the most
beneficial concept to promoting a healthy a prosperous marriage.

Not a fan of the women calling their men basically dumb in these comments. However, I’ve often heard you attract what you are. Maybe your men don’t listen to you because they are tired of being treated this way. I mean, if you will say that here, I’m sure they get that feeling or direct treatment from you at home! As Bill Cosby said, “see we are dumb, but NOT so dumb.” Lol.

Thats is one lesson that my hard head needs to learn, but as for now it’s too late. Has Me not doing this sooner because now my relationship has hit rock bottom. *shrugs*…..