Certain Risks Are Necessary For Marriage Growth
Whenever I see the term risk-taking I immediately think of business. Because in that particular area we definitely stand to lose something, whether it is money, savings, investments or a position. But we actually take some sort of risk in almost everything we do.
In parenting we take tremendous risks with our style of child-rearing. If we fail to parent effectively we will potentially raise children who grow up to be unproductive adults or worse. We also take risks every single day in our marriages. Although the benefits that occur as a result of marriage far outweigh the risks, it can still be quite fearful to totally give our all in a relationship.
Fear, doubt and questions can easily creep up into some marriages, especially in the beginning. Wondering how deep one should go with their love and trust can hold couples back from experiencing all that marriage should bring.
The marriages I have seen that work were all able to take the following risks to build a healthy foundation:
Be Completely Vulnerable. Knowing that you can completely trust your spouse with your emotions without fear of judgment is risk #1. In great marriages spouses are one another’s confidante. Letting our guards down should come naturally. In order for this to take place, our relationships have to feel safe. So the feelings that we share should never resurface in arguments or be used against us at anytime down the road.
Be Willing to Change. Change is scary, but we also know when it has to happen. So, if change is necessary, don’t be afraid to do it. If we are sure there is something we can do better in our marriage, let’s go for it. If the ultimate goal is joy, we must be willing to do what is necessary to create that joy. We may feel that our spouse won’t recognize or receive the change well, but if it’s good for the marriage, we can’t let that stop us.
Put Your Spouse First. Some of us wonder that if we put our spouse first, who’s going to put us first? Releasing that feeling and giving unselfishly is the ultimate sacrifice. We must make our spouse a priority because we want to please them and not for what we will get in return. Surprisingly, we usually receive back what we give.
Be Your True Self. Where else can we let our hair down, unwind and be our true authentic selves? Yes, in our marriage. This should be the one place we always feel safe. We shouldn’t feel guilty about all those quirky habits and personality disorders. Our spouses should love all of us.
Trust Your Spouse With Everything. We promise to spend the rest of our lives with the person we marry. Sharing our life means we should trust our spouse with our love, life, finances and everything in between. We can’t live well in a marriage if we have fears or trust issues. I always suggest couples let go, trust and enjoy their marriage.
There are risks and rewards that come with each of the above. If we consistently go all in, there are fewer regrets. Marriage success is knowing we never held back, gave our all and loved with our whole being.
BMWK, have you taken any (or all) of the risks above in your marriage?
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