Preparing To Become A Wife: 10 Tips For Single Women

BY: - 11 Jan '12 | Best of BMWK

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preparing to become a wife ten tips for single women

By Tanika Jones

Many women dream of that special day. You know the one, where all of the attention is on her in that gorgeous white dress. The flowers, the decorations, the fancy cars and let’s not forget, her Prince Charming.

Most women have an idea of what age they will be when Mr. Right asks her to spend the rest of her life with him. She has the colors picked out, the ideal season, the wedding party and even the guest list! To many women, the wedding day is the turning point in her life that will lead to her happily ever after. Many of us have focused (let’s be honest) so much time and thought on the wedding and the marriage that we have never spent enough time and energy on the most important part”…preparing to become a wife!

I too used to get excited about getting married, having a family and living the fairy tale princess life. But then it happened; reality hit me smack in the face. I started paying attention to women who were already wives. I quickly noticed that marriage takes work! I am talking about 24/7/365 work! The great thing about the marital covenant is that when you give it your all, you can live “happily ever after”!

As a woman involved in a courtship, I have obtained the counsel of women that have been married for 10+ years. I ask two questions that I believe will help prepare me to be the best wife that I can be. The first question is, “What are some things that you wish you would have done to prepare for marriage differently?” The other question is, “What advice would you give that would help me to be the wife that God calls women to be?” I have received great wisdom and advice from Godly women who have been married for close to 40 years! I would like to share that advice with other single women.

1. Develop an intimate relationship with God. You cannot enter into a successful covenant with a husband if you don’t first have one with God. Seek biblical wisdom, study the word, develop a life of prayer and be dedicated to living for God. This will strengthen the marriage covenant when God allows you to walk into that season. A three-cord strand is not easily broken (Ecclesiastes 4:12)

2. Master the art of fidelity and trust. No man wants a woman that cannot be faithful nor one that turns her neck at every fine man that she sees. Learn to 100% committed prior to a serious courtship. Be happy with what God has blessed you with and cultivate your relationship. It is also important to be a woman of your word. If you promise to do something, be sure to do it!

3. Develop the ability to take care of a home. Ladies, in order to be a great partner in marriage, we must bring the ability to emotionally and physically take care of the house. Learn to set a atmosphere of peace and love. Avoid quarrels when possible. Practice gentleness with others that cross your path.

4. Learn how to cook! My mother once told me that a woman that cannot cook is not cute! We know that men like to eat. Let’s be serious here. We all need to eat to live. Eating out all of the time can become expensive and who doesn’t love a home-cooked meal from time to time. If you cannot do anything beyond boil water, invest in a cookbook. Try one new meal a week and you will quickly improve your cooking skills.

5. Make smart financial decisions. If you desire to marry a man that provides and makes the best decisions for his family, you need to do the same. Smart men don’t want to marry a woman that spends way more than she saves. Work on your budget and be sure to have an emergency fund that covers 3-6 months on expenses along with retirement savings. Preparing for tomorrow is important. The ability to manage money is important in marriage.

6. Be complete as one. Be comfortable with not having a man in this season. Learn to be happy on your own. Find joy in those things that make you happy. Love what you have and don’t covet what others have. Spend time in your singleness doing the things that you love to do. Travel, find hobbies and do the things that married women tell you that you won’t have time to do when you get married and then become a mother.

7. Learn the art of compromise. Marriage will be about give and take. While you are single, learn that you don’t always have to be right and accept that most things will not always happen your way. Be willing to sacrifice what you want for the benefit and happiness of others. Wives have to compromise many things. The earlier we learn to compromise, the better off we will be in marriage.

8. Be committed to pursuing your dreams and supporting others. It is important to have your own goals and motivations prior to becoming one with your future husbands. The single season is a great opportunity to begin building your career, business or working towards other goals. Learn how to support family and friends in their endeavors as well. When you become a wife, you will have to support your husband’s dreams, possibly at the expense of yours. You must me ok with this level of sacrifice and compromise prior to committing to marriage.

9. Know what submission is and be ready to walk in it. Many people shy way from this discussion. Submission is not equivalent to obedience. Submission is yielding in love. Study God’s design for marriage and understand the role of a wife. In your singleness, God is your husband. Submit yourself to Him. Trust His plan and timing for your life. Seek His guidance in all that you do. Practicing submission now will be the driving force to it being second nature to you once you become a wife.

10. Be holy and feminine in your conduct. Always carry yourself as a classy woman who walks with confidence. Men want a woman they are proud to take home to their families. They want a woman with high self-esteem, one who walks gracefully, respects herself and others around her.

Marriage is a sacred bond between God, man and woman. This is a great starting list to help single women prepare.

Whether you are single or married, share with us any other advice that can help women (and men too) prepare for a successful and lifelong marriage.
Tanika Jones is a marketing professional, aspiring Christian author, and a student at Rhema Correspondence Bible School. She is also the founder and editor-in-chief of Armed Magazine, a Christian magazine created to “Spiritually Equip You for Victory in Battle.”

Preparing To Become A Husband ““ 10 Tips For Single Men

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61 WordPress comments on “Preparing To Become A Wife: 10 Tips For Single Women

  1. Kmart29

    I love this article. I was just talking to a couple of friends of mine about marriage. I am single and I have a few friends that are married.  Some are happy, some are not so happy and being the single one, they even ask me for advice (many times because they know I have a degree in counseling).  

    Unlike some, who may try to offer advice, I tell them that I can’t speak on that which I am not. I am not married. I can only speculate. Most tell me not to get married, and at one point, I was scared to say ‘I do’ because of the things that my married friends were going through. Then I had to get my own understanding, pray about it and stand firm in my belief that when it is my season, GOD will send that person who is meant to be my husband and that it is up to me to do what I need to do in the meantime that is pleasing to GOD, which is to continue to build my relationship with HIM,  to wait on HIS timing, to live a life that is pleasing, and to prepare myself.  Some people don’t think about things like that. Some are so ready to get married or at least to become physical, that they do not take the time to get to know each other. The lines of communication is not there.  Wanting couples, tend to talk at each other, when that initial spark is gone, and not to each other.  I learned lessons in relationship the hard way, by being in a relationship that was not right, but felt unable to leave…that is a whole other topic.  Anyways, I am loving the list.  Thank you for posting

    Reply
    1. Miss Miller

      Awesome, Awesome, Awesome. Amen & Amen again. This is truly a needed response and help to so many of us that are single. I am on the same page as you are my dear sister. I got that same advice about “don’t get married”, from others, because they didn’t seek God and try the spirit by the spirit, wait on God and so forth. People, have a tendency to contaminate you just because their marriage didn’t or isn’t working out. Then once they get into a wrong marriage, they don’t seek God, to find out how to make it work. I have seen that around me for over 20 years. NO one wants to forgive, submit, change, pray. It suppose to take 2, but one or the other can go to God, on the behalf of the other. No I’m not a counselor or anything of that nature, I have just seen married couples, who do not have a marriage other than paper, try to give singles advice. I look at them and would do things differently, because of what the bible says and I have watched my mother be a wife in good and bad times. Anyhow, great, awesome article. If you don’t mind, I would like to copy and paste this, to read over again. It’s very up lifting.

      Reply
    1. Kitty

      I agree with you. A marriage isn’t 50/50 its 100/100…if I’m preparing to become a wife, he should be doing the same. If not, the article leans in the direction of creating Christian Mrs. Cleaver drones. In fact, this article is applicable to men and women…the title could be “10 Steps to Becoming a Better Person” or  ”10 Steps to Becoming a Productive Member of Society.” Suggesting that the same should apply to a man, doesn’t “doom” me (as Ceb2008 says), but if there is no complimenting article geared towards men, it would lead (some simpleton) to believe that women are the only ones that need to prepare. It’s already bad enough people (male AND female) don’t understand the true concept of submission….

      Reply
      1. Kitty

        And let me retract the sentence that says…”if there is no complimenting article for men…”. It should say “if there wasn’t…”  

        Reply
  2. Sharnayd@gmail.com

    Article book marked!!!! I love love love your site an I’m not married yet but just reading about the joys or marriage I can’t wait til my Guy asks!!!

    Reply
  3. Briana Myricks

    This was an excellent post, that even people who are already wives can learn from. I also want to add that you should continue to be your own person even after you’re married.

    Reply
    1. Leahh

      I would add “Learn how to take care of yourself (pampering, rest, restoration)” – marriage takes a lot out of you and if you already run yourself ragged you will truly have nothing left when you join with someone else – and that can hurt you and your spouse before even talking about adding kids.

      Reply
  4. Juliashalomjordan

    Boy do I LOVE this@02117e8c42c5ff8bc0a188711f1f6327:disqus      All my friends call me “old fashioned” but I am the only one happily married out of them!  God is awesome!  He is the only reason my marriage is as good as it is.

    Reply
  5. CeCe Brown

    Great post, will use as a reference for some of the topics discussed during our podcast show tonight.  I’m really enjoying your site and content featured here.  Thanks Lamar & Ronnie!   -CeCe & the Archbishop.  

    Reply
    1. Jeanette

      Everything that was said applie to men as well. Women should not do most of the sacrificing…if she is she is married to a self-serving whimp. As a matter of fact HE should be sacrificing more than her. Read your bible ladies before you applaud with your AMENS.

      Reply
  6. Joyce Whitted

    Thank you for such a wonderful article.  I believe you touched on such important items.  I would also add to always honor your spouse.  I learned that after I got divorced.  when I heard it (In a marriage enrichment class, I immediately called my ex husband to apologized.  I never honored him and never knew to do so. Also “Be what you want to see”  In other words if you want someone who is kind and loving, be kind and loving.  Lastly never let the  your conflict become moe important than the relationship which goes back to what you said about learning how to comprromise. All in all I feel  like the tips were great and if people can follow them, they are well on their way to having a healthy relaationship and the operative word is indeed HEALTHY.

    Reply
  7. B Ford

    I also liked this article. I am single and not dating at the moment. I agree with that many women can’t fathom being complete as one.

    Reply
  8. Anonymous

    My best friend ,she just has
    announced her wedding with a millionaire young man Ronald who is the CEO of a
    MNC ! They met via RichFlirt.org….it’s where for men and women looking for
    comp’anionship for a fabu’lous lifestyle, maybe you want to try it out :) .
    …you dont have to be rich there ,but you can meet one. It’s worth a try.

    Reply
  9. C1chance73

    As a man i am ALWAYS seeking wisdom and guidance into my potential role as a husband while gaining insight to my potential wife’s role.   Both parties should seek and understand their own roles as well as their partners’ roles.   I believe alot of women (men too) need to be educated before they get married, like you mentioned in the beginning of the article i believe women are quick to be so wrapped in the wedding that they blind themselves to the substance of the union.   The gown, the ceremony, and the ring are ONLY symbols and nothing more. I notice anytime the topic of discussion is raised the ONLY thing that seems to be covered or discussed is everything BUT preparation of wife’s role, wisdom, and understanding.   But the gown, the ceremony and the ring all are so glamorized.

    Reply
  10. Lakeyia Bell

    Amazing! I am still single and loving it! Right now I am married to Jesus (that marriage will never end of course) and is learning to love Him and build my relationship with HIM! Being 21 and still in college, let me humble myself and feel grateful that I have a chance to do and achieve things while I am still single. God’s timing is always perfect…. I am using this time to build myself spiritually and also work on some things naturally! I am standing on the promises of God that I will be married but as for right now… I am living for Christ and enjoying the time I have to embrace being single! Thank you so much for this!  

    Reply
    1. Cidokogi

      Love this and to see that you are so young and on the right track is a blessing! I wish I had this maturity when I was your age.  

      Reply
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  13. 30thoughts

    Thank you for this article. I wholeheartedly agree with what it teaches and I fully intend to start implementing these steps into my life.

    Reply
  14. Faith**

    This article is amazing….im not perfect, but looking at these points, im almost there!   I am single and have asked god what I need to do to prepare for my husband….he showed me these points about 1 year ago, and now I am actually reading them.   It shows how far god has taken me and to where I am now.

    Reply
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  16. HampT's 2Sense

    In looking at this list, these attributes seem, to me, to be benchmarks that a man should assist in getting his desired bride to reach. In my opinion, working together to attain success in these areas in tantamount to truly making love to your lady. The article is entitled “Preparing To Become A Wife – 10 Tips …” I submit that this is an excellent place for the courting couple to be engrossed to enjoy the throws of marital bliss.Respectfully submitted,

    Reply
  17. A'ndrea Wilson

    Thanks for the good advice, especially #1. Our relationship with God sets all thing in order! I discuss this and some of the other tips provided in this article in my novel, Wife 101. I am glad to see that people like Tanika are discussing an important topic as preparing to be a wife. We prepare for everything else, why not marriage?

    Reply
  18. Nomalanga

    I love this article! This is so beautifully written and full of valuable and useful advice. On point #8, I struggled with “you will have to support your husbands dreams, possibly at the expense of yours” because I feel that our dreams should be able to co-exist, which requires a lot of communication and yielding.   That being said, it takes a woman of great strength and virtue to set aside her dreams (temporarily) for the sake of the family unit.

    Reply
    1. Anonymous

      @ Nomalanga, that is why you shouldn’t listen to so-called advice like this…this is not what the Bible teaches. People are putting their own spin on scriptures. It’s a shame that many women are rushing to get married with some sense of urgency as if time is running out so they get desperate and listen to crap like this woman wrote. Truth is this woman most likely will not sacrifice her career anything for marriage…it’s just bait. Spare me the rhetoric. Marriage is a give-and-take…sometimes sacrifice may be made by the husband sometimes by the husband there should not be an huge mbalance though.

      Reply
      1. Anonymous

        I meant sometimes sacrifice will be made by the husband and sometimes by the wife but there should not be a huge and balance.

        Reply
  19. Anonymous

    THE BEST ADVICE IS TO LEARN HOW TO SPELL, THE WORLD, “NO.”   JUST SAY, NO, AND WALK AWAY FROM MARRIAGE AND YOU WILL LIVE IN PEACE FOR THE REMAINDER OF YOUR LIFE.   REMEMBER QUERIOSITY KILLED THE CAT.   AMERICAN WOMEN HAVE BEEN TRAINED, BY NO FAULT OF THEIR OWN, NOT TO BE WIVES WHO ARE WILLING TO WALK BEHIND THEIR GOD FEARING HUSBAND, BUT POWER HUNGRY CONTEMPTFUL FEMALES FIGHTING FOR LEADERSHIP OF THE HOUSEHOLD.   NOT NICE, BUT REALITY IN AMERICA IS NOT NICE, DISPITE EVERYONES ATTEMPT TO PAINT A DISTORTED PICTURE THAT MARRIED PEOPLE IN AMERICA ARE HAPPY, OR CAN BE HAPPY JUST BY READING…. 10 TIPS.   RELIGIOUS COUPLES ARE NOT COMPATIBLE EITHER.   ONLY THOSE COUPLE S WHERE BOTH MAN AND WOMAN ARE BOTH FILLED WITH THE HOLY SPIRIT, EVIDENCED BY SPEAKING IN TONGUES WILL LIVE IN PEACE AND SURVIVE MARRIAGE IN AMERICA.   EVEN THEY WILL HAVE PROBLEMS BECAUSE THE GOVERNMENT AND LAWS ENCOURAGE WOMEN TO URSURP THE ROLE OF MEN BY MAKING THEM THINK THEY ARE EQUAL TO MEN IN THE EYES OF GOD OR SHOULD BE EQUAL TO OR GREATER THAN MEN IN THE EYES OF GOD.   WHAT DOES GOD AND THE BIBLE SAY ABOUT THIS.   AN UNEQUALLY YOKED COUPLE WILL NOT SURVIVE.   A HOLY WOMAN CAN NOT SUBMIT TO A UNSAVED FOOL.   A HOLY MAN CAN NOT LIVE IN THE SAME HOUSE WITH A CONTEMPTOUS HELL RAISING FOOLISH WOMAN.   LET JESUS SORT THEM OUT .   IF YOU WANT PEACE, JUST LEARN TO SAY , “NO” TO MARRIAGE. OR READ 10 WAYS TO STEP INTO HELL, AS THIS AUTHOR SUGGESTS.

    Reply
  20. KhaliAS

    I thoroughly enjoyed reading this article. As a single woman, who hopes to become a wife someday, I know I am no where near prepared for what being a wife will entail. All my close friends are married and I will admit that there has been times when I experience   some sort of jealous but, I am quickly reminded that it is not yet my time. I especially love Point #6 and I make the effort to practice that everyday while working to keep a close relationship with God. Blessings.

    Reply
  21. Sammy

    I thought it was 2012 not 1956. How about loving a woman for who she is.. whether or not she can cook or not.   Additionally, you might want to choose a different word for submission if you want your point to appeal and or influence women  because any healthy woman who respects herself will have higher standards then submitting.. May I remind you of the definition –
    Submission: The action or fact of accepting or yielding to a superior force or to the will or authority of another person.
    An act of surrendering to a hold by one’s opponent.
    Marriage is a partnership is it not?   Marriage is about teamwork and both should be equal, end of story.   We are not living in biblical times nor are women less than.  

    Reply
  22. Jill Nathan

    Wow!!! Lovely tips! As a single women I am really inspired to read all that mentioned about preparing to become a wife as early as possible. Anyway I would like to say thanks for that magnificent article with allowed advise for single women. Looking forward more! ;)

    Reply
  23. ttjam

    This article came right on time for me. I think it was meant former to see this because I wasn’t even looking for an articlelike this. I accidentally clicked on it. Wow God works in mysterious ways.

    Reply
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  26. Renee

    Can you believe that first tip was filled with a scripture I just recited this morning while talking to God…..wow, HE always gives confirmation. I love the Lord, HE heard my cry!!

    Reply
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  29. Blessing

    Wow!!!!! i have really loved this.. will really help me during my preparation for marriage.

    God richly bless you.

    Reply
  30. Jeanette

    I strongly disagree that practicing submission before marraige will become “second nature” to ANYONE when they are married unless you were raised that way, which none of us were. Submitting to God alone is totally different from submitting to your spouse. For the record, BOTH spouses are to be submit to one another in marriage.

    Reply
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