Will You Fight For Your Marriage? 10 Ways Wives Are Warriors

Everybody knows marriage is difficult, particularly if you don’t put the time and effort into building a strong foundation. It gets easier with time, but during the process of growing into mature, selfless spouses, marriage requires a will to fight for the union. Marriage is not for the weak-minded or soft-hearted. Marriage is for warriors.

To be a warrior-wife you must be willing to go to war for your marriage. This doesn’t mean you are paranoid about something going wrong. What it means is that you take proactive steps to strengthen the marriage bond and protect your family from negative influences. So, if and when trouble comes, your marriage will withstand hard times.

Here are 10 ways I believe wives can be warriors for their marriages and families.

1.A prayer warrior: a wife who knows the power of prayer. She intercedes for her husband and children. She doesn’t wait for hard times to pray; she prays in good times and in bad times. When her husband needs prayer, he asks his wife because he knows she has a deep relationship with God. Her prayers soothe and comfort her family. They rebuke evil and cast out negativity. They declare goodness and favor in their lives. Not only does she pray, but she also believes what she prays.

2.A worship warrior: a wife who is not afraid to praise and worship God. She knows where her help comes from, and she expresses her gratefulness wherever and whenever the Spirit moves her. “Thank you, Lord,” is her praise song.

3. A word warrior: a wife who uses her words to speak life and wisdom to her husband and children. She knows how to encourage herself and her family in the Lord. Her words heal, comfort, and correct with love. On the other hand, she doesn’t hesitate to speak in defense of her family when others try to harm them. She knows her tongue is a mighty weapon, so she uses it wisely.

4. A mother-warrior: A wife who doesn’t play when it comes to her children. She teaches them about God, about respect for themselves, and about the importance of family. A mother-warrior believes her role as a mother is a divine responsibility and that God will hold her accountable for how she rears her children. As such, she does whatever it takes to make sure her children feel safe and loved; are fed and clothed; and are educated properly.

5. A financial warrior: a wife who can take a few dollars and make a meal that tastes like a million bucks. She doesn’t complain about what the family doesn’t have; instead, she knows how to make do with they do have. She plans for rainy days and helps her husband provide for the family.

6. A discernment warrior: a wife with a sixth sense to see and feel what’s good and what’s bad for the marriage. Because she prays regularly and hears from God, she can sense when someone has malicious intentions toward her family or when someone is genuine friend.

7. A household warrior: a wife who protects the peace and sanctity of the home. She doesn’t allow negativity to infiltrate the home environment because she knows the home should be the safest place in the world for her family.

8. A sexual warrior: a wife who isn’t afraid to enjoy physical intimacy with her husband. She initiates sex and enjoys pleasing her husband. When the love life goes lacking or gets monotonous, she steps up to re-energize things.

9. A confidence warrior: a wife who makes her man feel like he can do anything he sets his mind to. She is a constant encourager who believes in her husband when he doesn’t believe in himself.

10. A purpose-driven warrior: a wife who knows that God has a purpose for her marriage. She’s willing to fight for it when others say she should give up. She partners with her husband to achieve their marriage and family goals. Her motto is “Let’s do this!”

I want to encourage you to embrace the warrior inside of you. As wives and future-wives, we don’t have to accept whatever life throws at us. God made us in His image, which means we have the power to create the marriages and lives we deserve. Every woman has a warrior on the inside of her. That’s why “a man who finds a wife finds a treasure and has favor with the Lord” (Proverbs 18:22). That treasure is his warrior-wife who’s not afraid to fight for their love.

BMWK family, feel free to add to the list. What other ways are wives warriors?


About the author

Dr. Michelle Johnson is the founder of Alabaster Woman Ministries, an online
international women’s ministry. She is a wife, mother, writer, speaker,
teacher, and first lady of a church in North Carolina. Through her daily
blog, online radio show, and video Bible studies, Dr. Michelle encourages
women and married couples to make God the center of their lives.



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Comments (31)

  1. Lawandaweldon Thursday - 16 / 02 / 2012 Reply
    This article shows just how much work it requires from a wife in terms of keeping the family together. What an awesome breakdown, steps that I truly have a lot of growth to achieve.  I am a work in progress.  Thank you.
    • Dr. Michelle Johnson Thursday - 16 / 02 / 2012 Reply
      Lawanda. We grow into them. Some seasons require more of one area than the other. The point is not to be perfect but to fight.
  2. JrzyGrl6969 Thursday - 16 / 02 / 2012 Reply
    THANK YOU!!!
  3. Ssdj34 Thursday - 16 / 02 / 2012 Reply
    This is awesome. Thank you sooo much!
  4. Anna Mae Thursday - 16 / 02 / 2012 Reply
    Much is definitely required of a wife, perhaps that's why I've failed at it. Great article though.
  5. Hope Thursday - 16 / 02 / 2012 Reply
    Thanks Dr. Michelle, This is really deep. I read each characteristic carefully and noticed that I probably only maintain 5 of these consistently. You have really challenged me. I plan on working on all fronts of this the best way that I can. Not to deflect responsibility but I am curious to see what the husband list would look like...Thanks for your diligence.
    • Dr. Michelle Johnson Thursday - 16 / 02 / 2012 Reply
      Hi Hope. I thought about that too. I might get hubby to help with that one. Be on the lookout next week.
  6. Mrs. Jones Thursday - 16 / 02 / 2012 Reply
    Marriage definitely is not for the weak!  Marriage is also not for the lazy because it requires much work.  The hardest thing for a lot of women to do is take/make time for herself.  This is extremely important in marriage because often, the woman wears many hats...i.e. wife, mother, friend, professional woman, servant in ministry.  It is imperative that we maintain order; God first, husband next, children third, THEN everything else as God directs.  Juggling all these things can wreak a lot of havoc; nevertheless, after serving God, marriage is our first ministry!
    • Dr. Michelle Johnson Thursday - 16 / 02 / 2012 Reply
      It is a lotto juggle Mrs. Jones that's why we must have God's help. Self-care too. Thanks for the reminder.
  7. Karis Thursday - 16 / 02 / 2012 Reply
    Beautifully encouraging words.  Its so easy to get lost in what you are suppose to be about as a wife, especially when you have to face challenges, but thanks for reminding me I am a warrior.  I need to be proactive and reactive.  Oh how we need the Holy Spirit in our personal lives! 
  8. Mrslovey Thursday - 16 / 02 / 2012 Reply
    I feel that it was meant for me to read this at this very moment and God made sure of it. Thank you so much. My husband and i will be married two years this Saturday and i'll just say marriage is a lot of work especially when you add in 2 toddlers and a pre-teen. We know what we want and that is to be together but we are both feeling so drained & strained, it's like a never ending battle. I will continue to pray my way through this storm. I'm not sure if what we're going through is normal since we don't really have any married friends. I'm desperate for some encouragement and i believe i just received some from your post. Thank you again!
    • Dr. Michelle Johnson Thursday - 16 / 02 / 2012 Reply
      You are welcome. Hang in there. Like I said to Lawanda. Know the season you are in. Some seasons require a different warrior than the other ones. Sounds like you all are on the same team and are working together. That's the main thing. We all get overwhelmed, even after 16 years. But this too shall pass if you work as a team to get through it. 
  9. Ilka22 Thursday - 16 / 02 / 2012 Reply
    Thanks Dr. Michelle, Your article is on point. I  can really identify with the last one: "purpose-driven warrior"  No matter what is looks like God is in control.  Some say giving up is the action to take, but God did not give up on me. When God puts people together and it falls apart,  He can and does put it back together.  This happens when the two who shall become one, first become one with God the Father and know that He is God.  When this happens,  the purpose of the couple become clearer, still muddy:), but clearer. I am a purpose- warrior wife.  God is at work in my life.  May God continue to bless you. Ilka
  10. Rhonda J. Smith Thursday - 16 / 02 / 2012 Reply
    I love this! You broke this down, challenging us to step up and handle our wife business. Great job, Dr. Michelle.
    • Dr. Michelle Johnson Friday - 17 / 02 / 2012 Reply
      It's definitely a challenge, but marriage wouldn't be worth it if it was easy! Thanks for your constant support. 
  11. Shurrita22 Thursday - 16 / 02 / 2012 Reply
    I like this.  Thanks for the good advice
  12. David Friday - 17 / 02 / 2012 Reply
    This is a GREAT article! I'm in a quandry though...how can I share this w/my wife (who I am separated from) w/o her getting offended? I say offended because it reflects so much effort on the wife's part, I don't want her to believe I'm doing anything but sharing...
    • Marisamac Friday - 17 / 02 / 2012 Reply
      Maybe you could present it like this: I want to share this with you because when I read this article I realized you are a ________ warrior and I want to thank you. Be ready to give her examples of how she is doing things right in your marriage. She will hopefully read the entire article and get something from it. Good luck!!! Prayers going up for you!
    • Dr. Michelle Johnson Friday - 17 / 02 / 2012 Reply
      Glad you liked it David. Possibly start with how YOU plan to be a warrior-husband and then share the warrior-wife post. There's a man's side to this, too. But it sounds like you know this. There is a warrior in both of you. Fight for it! 
  13. Omolara Kim Friday - 17 / 02 / 2012 Reply
    Wow.... thank u for this. One of the reason why I like this blog/website is that everything concerning marriage reinforces my views and principles  and how I want to be  as a WIFE. It reminds me and encourages me  that my work and effort that am making now  is not in vain and will not be in vain but it will count. I am so grateful am already walking in these steps mentioned above and I pray I will continue to learn more and do more and be MORE. GOD IS AWESOME..... HE REALLY IS.. THANKS FOR SHARING.
  14. Joy from Above Sunday - 19 / 02 / 2012 Reply
    How refreshing to see these comments. I loved, loved, loved this article! It is inspiring to see other women go to war for their marriages - - not just for their husbands - - but for their marriages and families. So many women get caught up into allowing their friends to run their marriages, making suggestions such as..."Girl, you need to tell his a**...", and providing them with ill-advised directions that go completely against the grain of what is truly best for their marriage and family and the covenants they were sworn to uphold. Keeping in company with like-minded women who share the same values as I and staying away from those who are just the opposite, I am sure, has contributed greatly to the love and substance that I believe I share with my husband. 
    • Dr. Michelle Johnson Sunday - 19 / 02 / 2012 Reply
      Thanks for this. I agree. We should stay away from people who spew negativity into our marriages. 
  15. Happyhomemaker87 Sunday - 19 / 02 / 2012 Reply
    I know that's right, Sister!! LOL Love it!
  16. 'Shaneequa Jones Burrell' Tuesday - 28 / 02 / 2012 Reply
    This is an awesome article!