by Grace Pamer
We all enter relationships with many expectations from the other person. As a couple passes through the milestones and natural stages of their life together, these may change and some may come to be more important than others. But one thing is for certain: if your expectations are not met, and in fact become disappointments, your romance is in trouble.
Just as each of us has a set of expectations in such a situation, we should recognize that our partner holds expectations as well. And while many of these will be the same as your expectations, some may be different, more personal and specific. But as a general rule, there is a set of expectations that any potential partner will have of you, and it’s a good idea to get to know them, for your own peace of mind and for the future on any relationship you might be in.
This a word that gets used a lot, but we rarely stop to think about what it really means. If you have real and true consideration for your lover, you are putting his or her needs first, before your own. You are always thinking about what the impact and consequences of your actions, words, and behaviors might be on him or her, and acting accordingly. You master impulsive behavior because you don’t want to cause pain or discomfort to your partner by anything you say or do. And when it is necessary for you to express your own needs, you do it in such a way that he or she feels that you are being positive, and not being critical. You are expected to be considerate.
This is another overused word that sometimes seems to apply to everyone but the two people in a relationship. True compassion is a state of mind that allows one person to feel what the other is feeling, or at least to be able to use some imagination and get close to it. The practice of forgiveness follows from having compassion, because you realize that everyone makes mistakes or has life events that can’t be changed, and everyone needs to be forgiven. Tolerance is also a necessary part of compassion, because you must allow for differences and overlook them when they cause problems. You are expected to be compassionate.
Another way of saying that you are expected to be understanding, having comprehension also includes the idea of being a thoughtful and rational person in a relationship. There is a place for passion and romance of course, but these should never overpower the application of thought to a situation. Your partner needs you to be able to feel emotion, but to use rational thinking as well when it is needed. Understanding comes from taking in all aspects of an event and then thinking about it, asking questions, and finally seeing the truth. Your lover will expect you to comprehend, not just understand.
Perhaps the most important of the expectations your partner has for you, commitment is what makes all the other attributes meaningful. Loyalty and trust are expected to be a vital part of a serious relationship from the beginning, and without them there can be no promise of a future, no promise of continued love, no promise of absolute fidelity. You will be expected to have a sense of commitment to your partner.
A successful relationship happens when the expectations of each person in it are met or exceeded. As time goes by, these will become accepted as given, and trust can develop along with love and romance.
About the author
Grace Pamer is a work from home mom and the author of www.RomanceNeverDies.com, one woman’s on going quest to get her husband reacquainted with the art of writing love letters.
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