One thing that I try to guard against in our relationship is having extended periods of time when my husband and I are out of sync with each other. Whether it’s a spiritual, emotional, or physical disconnection, I don’t want to go too long with things being out of whack. I don’t want those periods to become the norm.
I don’t want to get used to not having deep conversations with each other. I don’t want to get too used to not kissing every day. Yes, no matter how tired I get…I can’t let too long of a period go by without being physically intimate with my hubby.
Bottom line, I am not trying to turn my husband into a roommate or a buddy. I don’t want to just co-exist with each other!
Although we both work from home, there have been times that we were so busy that I found myself telling my husband that I miss you!! And that is my way of saying to him …we need some “us” time. We’ve been too busy! We need a date! We need to talk! We need to cuddle!
Dr. Corey Allan, a licensed marriage & family therapist, has come up with a great 15 question Quiz to help you determine if you are experiencing Marital Drift. In his quiz, he asks you to think about the last month. Have you been kissing, holding hands, dating, or praying together? And what about in the last six months, have you taken a walk together or discussed your marital strengths and weaknesses? Finally Dr. Allan asks you to recall the last year of your marriage, and asks if you have experienced spiritual growth together or if you’ve been able to get away without the kids.
To learn more about this quiz and how to determine your Marital Drift Score check out Dr. Allan’s post on Simplemarriage.net.
Basically the quiz can be used a tool to determine if you are settling for what Dr. Allan calls an “average marriage” and let you know that it’s time to invest in your marriage.
BMWK Family – What tools or methods are you using to ensure that you and your spouse stay connected? Do you think that it is normal or inevitable for a couple’s conversation, intimacy and sex life to dwindle down to almost nothing? Is that just a part of being married?