I often wonder what people mean when they ask if someone is “happily married.” Most married people, I’d assume, would say they would like to be happy in their decision to be married to their spouse, but often times, that’s not what the question is getting at.
When people talk about being happily married, whether consciously or not, we’re thinking of what the spouse is doing. If you’re asking if a co-worker is happily married, you’re wondering if the wife is really taking care of the home or if the husband appreciates that he’s got a good thing.
But being happily married starts with us. Much of the frustration that I’ve encountered in my marriage is because I was somehow trying to direct our marriage by dictating how my husband should act. If only he’d ____, I’d think to myself, our marriage would be much better. But I missed the fundamental rule of marriage and of life: You can only control what you do.
So if you say you want a great marriage, you’ve got to put in the work. That means:
BMWK family, what are some other ways that you can work towards having a great marriage? Let us know what you do.