Married people can pretty much identify with the joys and pains of other married folks. Because of that we are better equipped to offer needed support, motivate other couples by sharing our own experiences or act as a listening ear. Couples can easily provide that for one another as we recognize the value and significance of the unions we’re creating. It’s quite clear that those of us in such a committed partnership need other positive married couples. What may not be as clear is that the institution of marriage also needs support from singles. Although we may not say it as often as we should, our marriages would be even more blessed if we had the backing of all.
Below are the 7 types of external support we need from others:
1. We need people, single and married, to respect marriage. This one is simple, if you are actively pursuing a married man or woman you are definitely part of the problem and ultimately destroying a family. Please consider all the people who may get hurt as a result of your actions. Now, if a married person is pursuing you, firmly turn him/her down. You deserve to experience a healthy relationship and shouldn’t settle for being with a person who is committed to someone else.
2. Encouragement when we struggle is another great way to support a couple. Don’t join in on bashing the other spouse when times are tough, but help that individual to be mindful of the blessings in his/her marriage.
3. We would also benefit from hearing others speak positively about marriage. Not all are perfect, but not all are horrible either. Let’s stop the hate on marriage.
4. Acknowledge the positive effects it has on our communities. Positive effects include a stable environment for children, reduced out-of-wedlock childbearing and longer life spans for spouses are just a few.
5. We also ask that others not feel threatened when we frequently promote or highlight marriage. The purpose isn’t to rub it in or offend the unmarried, but simply to encourage those who are married.
6. Discuss marriage with children. Children should be taught God’s plan for marriage. We should point out and allow them to witness healthy relationships.
7. Pray for our marriages. Black marriages seem to be under attack right now, and the future of our families is at stake. We need everyone to keep our unions lifted up in prayer.
Marriage can be amazing and wonderful as well as sometimes challenging and tough. But if our communities stood together and loved on marriage making it a cause worth fighting for, we’d see fewer broken homes and families. That will result in happier and healthier children. Those happier children turn into successful adults who then repeat this positive cycle. Can you imagine if we all truly embraced this concept?
BMWK, what would you add to this list? What others types of external support do our marriages need?