Modern Day Granny – I Ain't Your Average Grandma! Part I

By Tracy A. Franklin

My grandma was the kind of grandma that canned veggies from her garden, strangled chickens that she raised, gutted and cleaned hogs for curing, sewed quilts and dresses, went to town once a week for supplies that she didn’t make or grow and helped grandpa during tobacco harvesting time. She put on her “Sunday best” wig and hat, donned her deaconess white suit and vinyl black handbag with the customary mints with the hint of moth balls. She lined us all up for Saturday night baths in that big ol’ washing tub and scrubbed the skin off of us! Grandma wore knee highs that she knotted at the thighs and cat eye classes. During the weekdays she wore her house “frock” with her everyday apron and Saturdays she wore her “Second best.” She fed the tall wiry fire and brimstone preacher and his mean ol’ hawk nosed wife Sunday dinner. Grandma reigned Queen and all of us adored her. During the summer she would have just about all her grandchildren around her. All 27. Before she died she had fifteen great grands. She was a faithful and loving wife and mother and strict but affectionate grandma.

I am SO different. I’m a forty-something year old grandma to four rambunctious boys (ages 3.5, 2, 1.5 years old and a 2 month old). My husband and I have 4 children, (son-27, daughter-26, daughter-22, son-16)   Our grand-blessings come by way of the girls. Let me just say this: God knew what he was doing when he gave the girls sons and not daughters! Thank you Jesus, I can’t deal with mini hormones at this stage in my life!

Being a grandmom (Mom as they call me) is the next most fulfilling thing I’ve ever done. I get to love my Littles with abandon. I’m young enough to remember the mistakes I made with my children and can impart my wisdom to my children so they can avoid the heartache and drama. When we do the math I’m not so far from them in understanding. My kids and I often listen to the same music and discus current trends. They are always frustrated that I get the new tech gadgets and can actually USE them before they do!

The best part of my being a grandmom at a young age is that I still have energy to run and play with my boys! They are so active and inquisitive and it takes a LOT of stamina to keep up with them. My husband and I often sit back and watch them move non-stop between three rooms. We don’t sleep. We’re scared to. They watch us. Seriously. Up til a few months ago the boys would be put to bed in their uncles bedroom. They would watch him until he fell asleep and then creep out the room. All of the sudden there’s a pitter patter of two pairs of feet and then the banging open of our bedroom door and two squiggly bodies jumping on our bed. I can’t remember EVER being allowed free access to my grandparent’s bed. I guess we’re different because it doesn’t seem to0 long ago that our own kids would crawl into our bed so it just seems par for the course that the grands would do the same. Night time terrors, diaper changes, and feedings; it was just an extension of our parenting.

Becoming grandparents when most women my age are just starting to procreate seems out of the norm but in actuality this is not a new phenomenon. Fifteen years ago grandmoms my age meant that grandmom got knocked up in her teens and now her teen is a mom, hence, grandmom becomes a grand while in her mid thirties. It was a badge of shame.

Now I’m not glorifying teenage pregnancy but I’m not hiding in shame because I became a grandmother when I was 39. It was the best birthday gift I could have ever been given. I saw my first grandchild being born. My grands are my children and my grandchildren. My hubby and I plan for them like we plan for our children. The boys have two homes, one with their parents and one with us. There is no need for diaper bags and extra clothes. When mommy and daddy drop them off they don’t need to leave anything because its already here; toys snacks, clothes. I guess you could call it co-parenting.

BMWK family are you a modern day granny or do you know one? What memories do you have of your old school grandma?

Tracy Franklin is a full-time student, majoring in English and History. She is also a wife, homemaker, mom and grandmom. Her days reading, driving folks around and living on call. Her blog is currently under construction.


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Comments (6)

  1. Erica B. Wednesday - 11 / 07 / 2012 Reply
    I can truly relate to this post. My 20 year old daughter recently blessed us with the best Christmas gift ever... our beautiful granddaughter. I use to think that "grandmother" in reference to me was a dirty word. But now I couldn't be happier. My 6 months old sweet girl is an absolute joy. My daughter is a full-time student and also works parttime. I get to have my little angel all to myself and spoil her rotten! And it doesn't hurt that I'm young enough to be mistaken for her mother! LOL!
  2. Lanita B. Thursday - 12 / 07 / 2012 Reply
    I became a grandmother at 46 by way of my 26 yr old son's spring break activities 2.5 years ago. It was unsettling at first but the moment I first held her I fell totally in love. I think I'm a I'm a modern day Grandma as I work long hours, don't cook or bake, but when she visits (for weeks at a time), I can't wait to get home to her. I told my son I was not going to disrupt my lifestyle because of his carelessness (yep I said that) but I could have saved my breath. She has completely transformed my life and I love every minute I spend with her.
  3. Taunya Thursday - 12 / 07 / 2012 Reply
    Great article!! I can't relate to being a grandmother but I certainly have fond memories of both my grandmother (still alive though I am 45) and great-grandmother. My grandmother was/is a modern day grandmother, a career woman/business woman and world traveler. She taught me SO much and I still find myself as a middle-aged woman learning from her. My great-grandmother was more of a traditional homemaker type grandmother baking and cooking delicious meals in her charmingly old-fashioned kitchen. From her I obtained my love of baking bread and for beautiful china. Both of these women contributed greatly to who I am today and Lord willing when the time comes both with contribute to the type of grandmother I will be.
  4. Gwendolyn Ellis-Wilson Friday - 13 / 07 / 2012 Reply
    Wow! Tracy, this is truly an inspiring story. I think that my experience is a little different. I became a grandmother on this past Tuesday July 10, 2012 @ 12:56 pm. I remeber the day that my son told me that the young lady was going to have a baby. I was floored. I mean, maybe if I, like you, were married myself, (I'm widowed) I probably would have had a different response. I spent months questioning my rearing patterns. I mean for goodness sakes, I talked to my kids, not at them. We traveled and experienced different cultures even with me being a single mom. I mean, their neighborhood friends would come over to my small apartment at the time just to get advice (with their parent's permission of course). I tried to give them a different life than I had when I was growing up. I had it hard! I NEVER wanted my kids to struggle. My son (the new daddy) told me when we were having a discussion after he broke the news, "mom you take everything personal!" My response to him was, well how am I supposed to take it. I had to remember to breath because I was seeing red. I wanted to slap some sense into him. But, I don't think it would have helped. The young lady, who I had once been fond of, I began to dislike (for the record, I realize now that I was totally out of order). I think that your children feel that when they make decisions, they are the only ones who are affected. My son is working part time, and he had to drop out of school. You know your children! I know that my son was not ready mentally, spiritually, emotionally, and most importantly FINANCIALLY to become a parent. Needless to say, not only did my son's life change on Tuesday, mine did as well. When I walked to the nursery to see the baby for the first time immediately following his birth, my once screams and demands of "you better get a paternity test", changed to "son, there is no need, this is all you!" When I laid eyes on that perfect specimen, I went back to 7-2-88 all over again. In conclusion, I am still not comfortable with the term "grandma" because I like Tracy have those memories of my own grandmother. (Tracy, you must be a country girl too. LOL) I am using the terms Yaya, or G-Mom. The G is for Gwen. However, when I look at everything, this is not about me. These young adults are still going to need support. I intend on helping them along the way.
  5. Anonymous Sunday - 15 / 07 / 2012 Reply
    I am happy for these grandparents who participate in their son and or daughters children lives.
  6. Anonymous Sunday - 15 / 07 / 2012 Reply
    Not yet a grandmother, but I was a young mother. Society attempts to make us feel guilty about childbearing at a "young" age, when since the beginning of time, women have been having children in their teens. After being forced to have an abortion because my mother wasn't ready for me to have a child (notice the sentence), I realized that support makes all the difference. Getting pregnant "right" after forcing me to abort my first baby helped my mother to realize that my child wasn't about "her" or her needs, but about me and mine. She did an immediate 360 and supported me 100% of the way. I forgave her, and we both learned a valuable lesson about ourselves and life. I graduated college, found work, got an apartment all before the age of 23, and despite many first parent mistakes, turned out to be an ok mom. I tell people all the time, "I'd rather my child bring another person into the world (pregnancy) than for someone to take my child out (violence/streets)." And I sincerely mean that. If that makes me a grandmother before 40...so be it. Kudos to people who choose life for their families, regardless of what society says is "normal". For me, its not what people say, but what God says. So long as He's by my family's side, we can weather any storms.

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