Have You Ever Heard of A Romance Secretary?

 

Can you imagine my surprise as I listened to the Steve Harvey radio show and the guest brings up the term “romance secretary”? Anything love or romance related immediately gets my attention. This day’s guest was Ryan Smith from HLN. He mentioned how one of the shows highlights a professional who gets paid to act as a romance secretary for a New York couple. Apparently this couple is one who needs assistance in scheduling quality time to spend together. The Romance Secretary gets paid to plan and schedule dates and keep the two connected. I had never heard of such a thing. My reaction is probably similar to that of many of you. My first thought was how someone could get so busy they struggle with finding time to enjoy the person they love most. I wonder what could possibly get in the way of actually connecting, loving and taking pleasure in maintaining such an important relationship.

It makes sense that one could run out of ideas on planning romantic and entertaining dates and activities. Sometimes you feel as though you’ve done it all before. The movies and out to eat can become a little boring and you may need new suggestions. But making time for a loved one should come natural for us and be a priority.

However, if making time for one another is a challenge, in comes the Romance Secretary, to help keep the two connected. Again my original question is, what could truly get in the way of your time together? If work happens to be consuming your lives, that’s what vacation and sick time are for. Scheduling time off and stealing a day to just be alone always re-energizes a couple. Whether it’s staying in bed for most of the morning or getting out and enjoying the day, this type of planning needs to happen.

The children may be another reason the time a couple has to spend together is limited. Parents are so consumed with making sure their children are properly cared for that everything else gets tossed to the side. Getting a babysitter and planning a date night as frequently as possible is ideal; check with the grandparents, they usually understand a couple’s need for quality time. Perhaps sending the children to bed an hour earlier will allow a couple the chance to enjoy a little bit of time.

There are so many resources for couples that teach us how to maintain our love life and keep the romance alive. From relationship books to magazines to blogs and radio shows, we are always equipped with ideas on how to make this work. We just have to do it! Once we decide our relationship is a priority, we will begin to give it the attention it deserves; without the help of a Romance Secretary.

BMWK, would you ever hire a Romance Secretary?


About the author

Tiya Cunningham-Sumter is a Certified Life & Relationship Coach, founder of Life Editing, and a Career Coach/Trainer. She helps couples and individuals rewrite their life to reflect their dreams. Tiya was recently featured in Ebony Magazine and on the Michael Baisden Show. She resides in Chicago with her husband and two children. For more of her life and love wisdom visit www.notyouraverageadvice.com


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Comments (14)

  1. T. Henry Monday - 20 / 08 / 2012 Reply
    Personally I think its a sign that the couple needs to work together on it.. obviously! If a couple can't agree on stealing a quick date or even just 30 minute to be on the same couch, there's more going on than just an idea or schedule problem. That relationship secretary might better be replaced by a counselor. No one is so busy that they can't find 30 minutes before bedtime to sit with their spouse and just talk. That goes a long way. I travel a lot and we don't always have an opportunity to be on a date but when I'm home, she gets my undivided attention and a footrub for at least 30 minutes. You'd be surprised at the good things that come out of that 1/2 hour.
    • Tiya Tuesday - 21 / 08 / 2012 Reply
      Great comment!
  2. Jackie Bledsoe, Jr. Monday - 20 / 08 / 2012 Reply
    First, let me say that I'm glad that "Romance Secretary" is what you described above...my first thoughts were something else. Second, I hope the romance secretary doesn't quit or go out of business....then their marriage is done. smh
    • Tiya Tuesday - 21 / 08 / 2012 Reply
      Lol. I agree
  3. Cree Tuesday - 21 / 08 / 2012 Reply
    What if the Romance Secretary is just there to make things fun...I wouldn't judge this couple too harshly. At least they're TRYING. Perhaps it really was not working for one to plan something and the other to think their interests were never considered. Maybe it was more fun to have a 3rd party member plan something so they BOTH were surprised and trying something completely new each time. If anything, I bet this RS has planned some pretty good dates and if so, of COURSE the natural thing would be for the romance to then spill over into their everyday actions. I'm just sayin'. To this couple I say: Good for you.
  4. Cree Tuesday - 21 / 08 / 2012 Reply
    And as a final thought, if Romance Secretaries are so terrible what about wedding planners? Marriage counselors??
    • Tiya Tuesday - 21 / 08 / 2012 Reply
      There are some challenges a couple can't tackle alone, but I think scheduling a date shouldn't be one of them. I get running out of creative ideas, I've experienced that. Even then there are tons of resources providing ideas for couples.
      • Cree Wednesday - 22 / 08 / 2012 Reply
        There's just not enough info about how/why/what capacity this person is being used for, for me to think it's ridiculous. Again, at least they're trying. People don't think twice about picking up sex tips from magazines and reading kama sutra books...an RS I'm guessing provides a much more personal approach to helping out a couple then those aforementioned approaches.
        • Tiya Wednesday - 22 / 08 / 2012 Reply
          I don't think it's ridiculous, I just think it is a sign that there may be a bigger problem. I actually read an article about him, so I am clear on the what and the why. The couple was struggling to find time for romance and to date, so the RS schedules dates for them and sends each person cute messages (from) the other one.
  5. Sheree Tuesday - 21 / 08 / 2012 Reply
    Great article. Not a bad idea, but would only use it to help with the creative side, not the scheduling. Yeah, I might have to add this title to my growing list of side hustles....Tweaking my business cards now. :-)
    • Tiya Tuesday - 21 / 08 / 2012 Reply
      Sheree, I know right, it does have me thinking about what other couples might be in need of such a service :)
  6. Ashley Wednesday - 22 / 08 / 2012 Reply
    GREAT!!!!! Tiya you are so right. Girl you on point, about everything.
  7. Tara Saturday - 25 / 08 / 2012 Reply
    I think this is great! My husband and I are both fairly busy and travel a lot for work. I would love a RS Someone that would compare both of our schedules. We would send the RS the movies and activities we want to attend for the quarter and they just plan and schedule away!! Sheree your HIRED!! LOL In the meantime my husband and I will have to continue our routine of rotating each month and being each others RS.
  8. jchestang Saturday - 25 / 08 / 2012 Reply
    Nope! I don't think a romance secretary is necessary. The whole point is to "want" to be with someone. When you do, you are always looking for opportunities to spend time with them. No matter how busy you may be, "taking time to make time" brings definition to the relationship. The effort you put into it brings meaning, depth, and says "I want you in my life." No one can do that for you.

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