I Hired Help and I Don't Feel Guilty

Every year my husband and I host what we call our “Barbecue Extravaganza” where we invite our family and our closest, dearest friends. We both look forward to entertaining and celebrating the end of summer with the people we cherish. As you can imagine there is quite a bit of planning that goes into this event. We have to plan the menu, the activities and prepare our home for the attendees. Of course the food and activities don’t require much thought. However, preparing our home is the piece I don’t always look forward to.

As a working mom my days seem to run right into each other and I never feel as though I have enough hours in the day. Couple that with how tired I am after work and I find I don’t have enough energy left to do anything else. I work a full-time job during the day, start my other job as a parent when I get home and work my other business during the evenings. Some days I am completely drained. So, this time I hired help.

Yep, I said it and I confess. For the first time ever I called in a house cleaning service to clean my home; not my whole home, just 3 rooms. At first, I went around and around about it and even felt guilty. I should be able to clean my own house, right? Of course I am able, but sometimes I am just plain old tired and I don’t want to. The decision to call a cleaning company was actually one of the best I have ever made.

First, I did my research and read reviews and selected the best and most reasonable service. Once the cleaning crew (of 1) arrived I honestly didn’t know what to do with myself. Part of me wanted to help out and the other part felt as though I should appear busy so he wouldn’t think I was too lazy. As I thought more about it, I came to the conclusion I actually deserve this. After my house was spotless and I shared with the cleaner how great everything looked I also shared my reservations. I mentioned how guilty I felt in the beginning with hiring a service. He assured me there was nothing to feel guilty about because this was an afforded luxury and he thoroughly enjoys the work. Immediately I released every little ounce of guilt because he was right.

Sometimes busy parents need a little relief. I made the decision that it’s okay for me to receive that sort of assistance when I need it. Whenever I feel overwhelmed and tired again, you bet I will be calling on my new cleaning service.

BMWK, would you feel guilty about hiring help?


About the author

Tiya Cunningham-Sumter is a Certified Life & Relationship Coach, founder of Life Editing, and a Career Coach/Trainer. She helps couples and individuals rewrite their life to reflect their dreams. Tiya was recently featured in Ebony Magazine and on the Michael Baisden Show. She resides in Chicago with her husband and two children. For more of her life and love wisdom visit www.notyouraverageadvice.com


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Comments (11)

  1. Niambi Thursday - 30 / 08 / 2012 Reply
    Sounds like a good idea to me! :) You shouldn't feel guilty. This does not make you any less of a wife or mother. Everyone needs help sometimes and everyone needs a break. The problem usually comes when those of us who give of ourselves all the time don't know how to receive from others and take time to replenish ourselves.
    • Tonya C. Thursday - 30 / 08 / 2012 Reply
      This. All of this. I have no shame in hiring a cleaning service when needed. In fact, I'm trying to figure out how to get a laundry service once a month. No different than paying a stylist to do your hair when you are capable of doing it yourself.
  2. nylse Thursday - 30 / 08 / 2012 Reply
    No; I would not feel guilty. I have no shame in saying I need help and welcome it! After all we have help for the outside (yard work, etc) why not for the inside?
  3. Lisa Thursday - 30 / 08 / 2012 Reply
    Interesting topic. I guess I can't understand the "guilt" mindset at all, as I had a cleaning service when I was single with no kids and had it for about four years! I was happy when I met my husband (also single with no kids) and discovered he too had a cleaning service! Now that we are married and have a baby on the way, we're having the service come in once a week to clean the house. Never did either of us have one iota of guilt about it. Why should we?
  4. Iyon Thursday - 30 / 08 / 2012 Reply
    Nope, don't feel guilty at all. I am actually looking for one right now. I have a husband, two active boys and work a full time job. I am exhausted at the end of the day and cleaning is the last item on my agenda. I remember I told my mother i had help she gave me the I raised three girls on my own and cleaned house speech. I said that's great ma, but this is a new day. I don't want to spend all my weekend cleaning when I can be living, enjoying time with my family.
    • Tiya Cunningham-Sumter Thursday - 30 / 08 / 2012 Reply
      Well said! I think that is where my initial guilt came from, thinking about what our parents would think. My in-laws would never consider hiring a cleaning service. But you said it best, I have more time to spend enjoying my family.
  5. GemTwin Thursday - 30 / 08 / 2012 Reply
    Guilt? Absolutely not! I agree with Lyon that you are making a choice good for your family. My husband and I are both working professionals and we have three school aged boys. Even with weekly help, my days run into parenting in the evenings, homework, dinner, chores -- and our help does laundry! Life is too short to be a martyr! Love your husband and save your time for your family and kids!
  6. dmaclee Saturday - 24 / 11 / 2012 Reply
    My mother actually is my nanny and she cleans for me. It works out perfectly. She's retired so we are able to supplement her income and she still feels busy. When she gets tired, I have a back-up sitter and cleaner. No guilt at all.

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