I have played and watched basketball much longer than I have been married, so I must admit I know more about basketball than I do about being married. However, I learned my basketball experience is actually beneficial to my marriage, especially the intimacy. It can be for your marriage too.
All great basketball players have a signature move, or what some call a “go-to” move. This signature move is what star players rely on when it is time to get a basket, when they need to “score.” MJ had the fadeaway, Magic the no-look pass, Iverson the killer crossover, Kobe the mid-range jump shot, Kareem the sky hook, and LeBron…you choose one because he probably has all of the above.
Very similar, all of us great husbands have a go-to move (at least we think). A move we know pleases our wives and leads them down the road to an intimate moment. Something we rely on heavily, sometimes too heavily.
In my last BMWK post, I talked about how my wife’s turn-ons, and turn-offs, change frequently. So my go-to “move” last week, may not work this week. This is where my basketball experience comes in.
I learned in basketball, just like the players I mentioned earlier, that I had to learn new moves, learn how my opponent reacted to my moves, and make adjustments so I could still be effective.
In the early part of MJ’s career, his go to move was an explosive first step, and an amazing ability to fly through the air to finish. He adjusted, learned, and made his new go-to move the fadeaway. Magic learned the “baby sky-hook” later in his career, and Kareem was mainly a dunker (the NCAA actually banned dunking because of him) before perfecting the sky-hook.
Had they not improved their game and added new moves they may not have had continued success, or be viewed the way most basketball fans view them today. The same has to happen with us husbands.
As we grow in our marriages, we have to study our spouses, learn them, and make adjustments as needed. The back rub may not work anymore. Maybe being “domestic sexy” is her new turn on. Pay attention, find what does work, and perfect it!
Although most of us will never make it to the NBA, we can all have a Hall of Fame worthy career as a husband. When you do what I mentioned above, you will always remain effective in pleasing your wife. You cannot lose when you learn, make adjustments, and get better at pleasing your wife.
When you don’t, frustration may set in, for both you and your wife, as needs go unmet. Or worse it may lead to the end of your marriage “career.” I don’t want that to happen to anyone!
Question: Do you agree, love and basketball (knowledge) can combine to help your marriage? What are some ways you can study your spouse to better learn to please him/her?