A recent comment on the “Happily Ever After: A Positive Image of Black Marriage“ fan page on Facebook is the inspiration behind this writing. I am always eager to read the conversations that take place on the page. From the resources shared to the discussions on the articles posted here, those in relationships are never disappointed after a visit to the page. There is always great dialogue to make you appreciate love and marriage. I don’t comment often, but I am a frequent reader. This time I felt compelled to comment after a visitor posted the following comment:
“If there was a page on “A Positive Image of White Marriage” or Asian Marriage, or Mexican Marriage, or whatever…would you think it was a racial page? Let’s all unite and talk about Positive Marriage regardless of what race we are…makes it welcome everyone to gain some great knowledge…..just saying…
I felt the need to respond immediately with the following comment:
“If there weren’t very many positive images of those marriages, and the majority of the images we see of White, Asian or Mexican ethnic groups were as negative as what we have experienced, I wouldn’t have a problem with those pages. But, please understand our need for a page like this. It is not meant to exclude, but to actually uplift, inspire and motivate those who need it most. We are hurting and have had to overcome so many obstacles. Please allow us to celebrate this way.”
I often feel like our need to love on ourselves is often misunderstood. There is always the accusation that somehow we would cry foul if other groups displayed the same type of support for one another. I am always surprised that the concept of displaying healthy images to combat all of the negative ones that exist in our community isn’t more understood. It would seem as though others would want to join us in promoting this level of positivity.
Building us up doesn’t mean we’re ignoring anyone else. As a certified life and relationship coach, all marriages are important to me, but the present state of black marriage is in trouble and needs our immediate attention. The great thing about Blackandmarriedwithkids.com is, despite the title, the majority of the articles are universal and actually do apply to all marriages. If we simply spent time to understand the needs of one another, we wouldn’t be so quick to judge. Just saying.
BMWK, what are your thoughts on websites, blogs or Facebook fan pages geared toward African Americans?