by Charli Penn-Watkins,
I’ve blogged in the past about my total willingness to accept that my husband has a “work wife” in his life. I know her. I trust her. And, she has proven time and time again to have both his back and OUR back! (That’s three thumbs-up in my book.) That said, there are a few other women he has encountered through his work life that I’d much rather not hear about ever again. I won’t go into too many details (I’m aware many of his co-workers, both past and present, could possibly be reading this, and he doesn’t need the drama!) but I’m going to sum it up with a few thoughts that will get you to where I’m headed with this, and then you can tell me what you think”...
I cannot tell you how many times my husband has come home talking about a new female co-worker buddy he chats with on the job who used this phrase: “Oh Please, I know you’re married. I just want to be your friend!” Then, they always follow up this bull with the same telltale mistakes. They are as follows: They never ask about me, or us; just him. They’re conveniently nowhere to be found when I’m around the job or suddenly “shy” when he’s with me at the office holiday party. Get real, lady! You don’t want to be his friend; you want more. I showed my husband how to spot the signs long ago, and we still laugh together at these so called “buddies” and how quickly they fade away when they realize he’s happy at home and staying there.
I’m 100-percent not cool with a female “friend” of my husband’s calling on him in their time of need. Money problems? Kids wrecking your nerves? Need “to talk”? I don’t care! That’s not his job, nor is it the role he should be playing in your life. He has already been cast as the main man I depend on in my life. Get a new script, and get real lady!
Now, my husband is usually on board with these typical tricks of the trade, but every now and then we find ourselves “discussing” how he should or shouldn’t “let down” a female co-worker nicely ““ and if you ask me, we spend way too much time hashing it out. For me, it’s simple: I’m okay with you having a few female friends that aren’t me, but there are rules that must be followed. 1. If she was your friend long before you’d ever even laid eyes on me, I won’t dispute that bond. 2. Don’t call her a “friend” if she hasn’t earned that title; and trust me, earning it takes way more than just providing good conversation on your lunch break or offering to get you coffee. And, 3. You just don’t need many female friends in your life if you have a best friend like me, so you better pick wisely, buddy! Okay? Okay”...now no more talk about these women, please!
Oh, and one other thing……
To read more and to find out if Charli has male friends, check out her post on ManWifeandDog.com
follow Charli on twitter: @ManWifeDog
BMWK – We’ve tackled this topic on the site before. How do you feel about your spouse having “friends” of the opposite sex at work?