Would You Consider Having a Surrogate Mother or Being One

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by Stacie Bailey | on September 6th, 2012 | 6 comments

Credit: Photo by Nathalie P

Kristine Casey, a 61 year old mother to three daughters that was 10 years post menopause, gave birth to her own grandson by being her daughter’s surrogate mother, in February 2011.

Recently on Good Morning America, Casey’s daughter, Sara Connell, described how she struggled with infertility that caused her to lose twins during the third trimester of her first pregnancy and to have a miscarriage with her second pregnancy, before deciding to have her mother carry her child, Finnean. Although there were safety concerns due to her mother’s age, Casey felt “it was a journey we needed to take.”

“It was so amazing to feel that little heart beat and the little movements inside of me,” Casey said. “To feel, the confidence, for some reason, I felt confident I could do this and we could have this wonderful grandson.”

In a similar instance, senior moderator and PR representative of SurrogateMothersOnline.com, Kymberli Barney, describes her experience being a surrogate mother in a recent HLN post. She says she chose to do so because of her own history of infertility after being diagnosed with polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS). With treatment, she was able to conceive twins and two more children. Now having her own family she, like Casey, underwent in vitro fertilization (IVF) to become a surrogate mother. And in 2007, Kimberli delivered another couple’s son. Barney and Casey both likened the experience to babysitting.

“I was overjoyed to have completed my family, but I was still acutely aware of just how difficult our road could have been,” Barney said. ”Had my husband and I needed to pursue this as a family-building option, I could only hope that someone would have wanted to help us in the way I wanted to help others.”

Read the complete article of Casey and Connell on ABC News’ website and an excerpt from Connell’s book, Bringing in Finn: An Extraordinary Surrogacy Story here.

BMWK– Would you consider having a surrogate mother or being one to someone else? Have you or a friend done so before? What challenges and successes were there?

About the author

Stacie Bailey is a recent graduate of Quinnipiac University with a master’s degree in Interactive Communications. She has strong interests in relationships, health, social media and an overall love for sharing knowledge and information.

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Comments (6)

Adam D. Oglesby Thursday - 06 / 09 / 2012 Reply

Interesting question. For me personally Im not a fan of adoption. I think if my choice was adoption, I'd prefer to remain childless and lavish my attention on nieces, nephews or other young family members. Surrogacy, would certainly be an improvement over adoption but not as satisfying as a completely natural insemination, gestation, and birth. Would I do it? If my lady really felt this was critical for our family, maybe. Then the big questions would follow: Should the â€œmotherâ€ be a family member, friend or complete stranger?
Jason P. Thursday - 06 / 09 / 2012 Reply

While I understand the desire some have to raise biological children (I want some myself), I feel it is to the disadvantage of abandoned or orphaned children. They would have a much greater chance at a normal life if it weren't so easy for a couple desiring children but unable to make some on their own to have treatments to produce a biological child. It's a lot like shelter dogs: people desire a certain heritage for their new addition, so they pick parents from a breeder to make a new one just for them rather than pick from the already substantial number of strays who would be just as lovable. I bet infertility is one of the ways God is merciful to children who have parents unwilling or unable to care for them. He allowed a person to have the desire to parent without the natural ability so that this child could be taken care of. Need I remind everyone that Jesus was adopted by Joseph! I know Joseph was not impotent but I think he was setting an example- he would have been fully within the law to divorce Mary, but chose to adopt her son as his own. If I find that I cannot have my own biological children, whether due to myself or my wife, adoption is my only option. Creating a designer baby with the latest in medical technology when there are already so many who need a good dad is selfish in my opinion. Just because we can do it doesn't mean we should.
Yana Thursday - 06 / 09 / 2012 Reply

When I was younger I would have considered being a surrogate. I was always blessed to be able to get pregnant with ease, carry all of my preganancies well and have my body snap back in place with little effort (5kids!). My only stipulation would have been that you had to use your own egg or somebody else's.....to me my egg equals my child. I will be 35 in a few months so the child bearing ship for me has sailed, but my hats are off to the women who seflessly give their body up for 9 months!
MPC Sunday - 09 / 09 / 2012 Reply

In my own opinion, this surrogacy is one of the choices God has given us in order to continue to have children, just like artificial insemination and adoption: it's another way. Being that my wife is a nurse in neo-natal ICU, she sees all the stories...from women that get pregnant repeatedly yet have no custody of ANY of their children...to happily married couples who have been trying to have a child for years only to have their first born be premature or have health problems. I think it's small-minded to want children but choose to childless because adoption and surrogacy are not "born from your own loins", but to each their own. It would seem to me that they like the idea of having children, but really don't want children at the time. The way I understand surrogacy is this: fertilized egg from a couple planted into a separate woman's uterus for gestation and growth. If I'm not mistaken, that has always been...however, I could be wrong. If me and my wife were in that situation, it would be her decision if she would wan to go that route. I would support her decision either way. I think it's an honor for a woman to be a surrogate for another woman. That my friends is love...to give your life for another.