Last week, I traveled to Washington, D.C. on business. After a long day of meetings, I met up with my favorite cousin at a trendy happy hour. As soon as we walked through the door, someone offered to buy a round of drinks, and while I was still sipping on my Mojito, a Darrin Henson lookalike asked to get me a refill. I smiled and turned down the offer, remembering my early morning wake up call. And although I’m single, I had no intentions of meeting men that night. (Funny how when you don’t look, someone falls in your lap).
But a few words turned into an intriguing conversation. We instantly connected, laughed like we were long time friends and made plans to keep in touch. His endless compliments made me blush. I gave him my number and went searching for my cousin who caught someone else’s eye. When I saw “Darrin” again, his friend told me I might be “the one.” He never heard “Darrin” talk about a woman the way he talked about me and that he wished he met me in perhaps a bookstore. I smiled and told him, I’m the same person if you meet me in a club, a grocery store or a church. When I left, “Darrin” walked me outside and offered to call off work to take me to lunch. I declined, not due to disinterest but due to a long list of appointments. He hugged me goodbye and said he looked forward to seeing me soon. I said the same. He was a great guy on paper–confident, not conceited; educated and employed. He made me smile and made me comfortable.
Then, he never called. At first, I thought maybe he was married or in a relationship. Maybe, the alcohol in his glass did the talking that night. I later realized that I called my phone from his, but I didn’t have a missed call. Dang touch phones! I always hit the wrong number or call someone on accident. I’m technologically challenged–I just set up my voicemail three months after getting a new phone. So for two days, I kicked myself. Did I just give my match the wrong number? Did I end something before it even began?
I learned that not everyone you meet is your future spouse, and thought about five action items that lifted my spirits.
1. Continue to Trust in God – God created the world in six days. He can send you a wife/husband in the blink of an eye. When you seek Him, everything else will fall in place. When it doesn’t, it makes you wiser and stronger.
2. Practice Patience – Would you rather wait a year to meet the man/woman of your dreams or rush down the aisle to marry a wolf in sheep’s clothing? Pull the plug of your biological clock out of the wall. It’s OK to hit the snooze button on getting engaged or starting a family.
3. Dodge a Big Bullet – Maybe mis-dialing my number prevented heartache and pain in my future. “Darrin” could be deranged, a deadbeat dad or a dog. I doubt it, but sometimes you meet someone for a reason or a season, not necessarily a lifetime.
4. Tell Yourself If it’s Meant to be, it Will be. – Some things are out of your control. If “Darrin” and I are meant to go on a date, I’m sure we’ll cross paths again on our journey to find our other half.
5. Enjoy Life -I love my life. I don’t think I’ll love it more with a mate. A man compliments me, not completes me. Don’t get me wrong. I am very pro-marriage. But I’m also very pro being happy in the meantime, until you get your happy ending.
BMWK – Has this ever happened to you? Have you ever thought about how things could have been with that one acquaintance or ex that you thought was a nice match for you? Is there anything wrong with “looking” for a husband or should you just relax and let things fall into place?