Black and Married With Kids.com – A Positive Image of Marriage and Family

Married, Saved, and Still Sexy

Home

by  |  on October 23rd, 2012  |  25 comments

One of the misconceptions about “church girls” or Christian wives is that once we get saved we lose our sexiness. Some people think we are all conservative prudes who sleep in flannel pajamas from head to toe. Or, we are too good to let go sexually. Not so for the Christian wives I know.

Well, I’m not exactly sure what they sleep in, but based on our conversations and shopping trips, they have no problem letting their inner-sex vixen out. And why should they? Where the Spirit of the Lord is there is liberty (2 Corinthians 3:17), which means as long as the spirit is a part of marriage, then wives can be as free as they want to be with their husbands.

My girlfriends and I don’t spend a lot of time talking about the specifics of our intimate relationships, but we do get our praise on together when a sister suggests she and her husband are on “one accord.” We shout with each other because God is good and so is married sex. We pray for each other when things aren’t as energetic as they need to be. And, we give advice about how to take advantage of the freedom we have in Christ and the freedom we have in the bedroom. Don’t get me wrong. Our conversations are clean, and we still respect the sacred boundaries of marriage.

But, if you can’t talk to other Christian women about spiritual and sexual matters (that are in the Bible, after all), who can you talk to? Older women should teach the younger women about pleasing their husbands and having a fulfilling sex life. These conversations are missing from our churches and in our homes. My daughter, once she gets of age to have these discussions, will know that to be saved is not a sexual death sentence. You are “saving” yourself to experience love and intimacy like God intended it to be. In other words, you can have your way with your husband and he can have his way with you. Hallelujah!

Faith shouldn’t   limit us sexually;   it should free us because God has given His permission to share and to shout in more ways than one.

BMWK, how do you think faith affects sexuality in marriage?


About the author

Dr. Michelle Johnson is the founder of Alabaster Woman Ministries, an online
international women’s ministry. She is a wife, mother, writer, speaker,
teacher. Through her daily blog, online radio show, and video Bible studies, Dr. Michelle encourages women and married couples to make God the center of their lives.


Get Marriage Articles Delivered To Your Inbox Daily!

 
 
Add a comment

Comments (25)

  1. nylse Tuesday - 23 / 10 / 2012 Reply
    I'm so glad you wrote this - I wish this could be proclaimed from the mountaintops. I'm so tired of reading Christian blogs where women have a warped view of sexuality..I really don't get it. Perhaps its cultural.
    • Dr Michelle Tuesday - 23 / 10 / 2012 Reply
      It's a must needed conversation. Thanks for reading. Spread the word.
  2. Purpleicious Babe Tuesday - 23 / 10 / 2012 Reply
    Thank you and well said....
    • Dr Michelle Tuesday - 23 / 10 / 2012 Reply
      You are welcome. Thanks for reading.
  3. Shawanda J. Tuesday - 23 / 10 / 2012 Reply
    It's very refreshing to read this kind of article. It's encouraging because it advises married women that we have the right and the permission to be more open with our sposes. As you eloquently said, our faith and our being saved is ot a sexual death sentence. I struggled with this in the beginning of my marriage; but when I opened up, it actually brought my husband and I closer. Not because we were focused only on sex, but because the walls were down, and we freely expressed our love, faith and trust in each other. We feel so honored and blessed that God chose us for one another; we want to honor, build annd nurture this divine bond every day, and in every way that is right for us.
    • Dr Michelle Tuesday - 23 / 10 / 2012 Reply
      That's beautiful Shawanda. Marriage is a blessing and blessed by God. It pleases Him when we enjoy each other.
  4. Lance Lawshe Tuesday - 23 / 10 / 2012 Reply
    Great share. Continue to encourage marriage. It is a wonderful thing.
    • Dr Michelle Tuesday - 23 / 10 / 2012 Reply
      Yes it is. And that's the point: marriage is the avenue to experience such a wonderful blessing from God.
  5. Lorinda Tuesday - 23 / 10 / 2012 Reply
    Finally someone is busting the lid off the box on how christian married women should behave with their spouse. Yay!! Thank you so much.
    • Dr Michelle Tuesday - 23 / 10 / 2012 Reply
      You are welcome. Let's keep the conversation going.
  6. Marsena Tuesday - 23 / 10 / 2012 Reply
    This article is ON POINT! Thank you for sharing. I couldn't agree with you more! I've been married for 15 years, and the fires are still LIT!
    • Dr Michelle Wednesday - 24 / 10 / 2012 Reply
      We are going on 17 years and it does get better with time! It takes work, but it is well worth it.
  7. Amber Tuesday - 23 / 10 / 2012 Reply
    Great post! I just wrote a post on my blog related to this topic. I agree that we should be able to talk to other Christian women about both the spiritual and the sexual!
    • Dr Michelle Wednesday - 24 / 10 / 2012 Reply
      Please share your blog. I would love to read it.
  8. Mrs. M Tuesday - 23 / 10 / 2012 Reply
    "In other words, you can have your way with your husband and he can have his way with you. " -- That doesn't sound safe for the woman.... this means he can do whatever he want to you...
    • Dr Michelle Wednesday - 24 / 10 / 2012 Reply
      Actually, Mrs. M. none of this works if there isn't mutual respect in the marriage. I probably should have stated that in the beginning. In fact, nothing works in marriage when either partner is fearful for his/her life. Those are issues that definitely need to be addressed PRONTO! Otherwise, yes, enjoy your spouse liberally!!!
  9. @thelovejourney7 Thursday - 25 / 10 / 2012 Reply
    Dr. Michelle- loved the article & I think it will set some people to experience the blessings of unity & fulfilling sexual experiences in marriage. Why should non-believers swing from the chandeliers and the body of Christ watch paint dry.....when God is the one who created sex for marriage? I agree that He intends for His children to have wonderful experiences. Great read! -Desiree (www.thelovejourney.com)
    • Dr Michelle Thursday - 25 / 10 / 2012 Reply
      Thanks Desiree. I'm checking out your blog as well.
  10. @jlbm778 Friday - 26 / 10 / 2012 Reply
    Proverbs 5:19 (KJV) Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love.
  11. Chrystal Washington Saturday - 27 / 10 / 2012 Reply
    This message is longggggg overdue.I applaud you.My advice to all my married sistahs is to keep it fresh.We have fun in our physical relationship.I am a FAT, which stands for fabulous and thick woman.My hubby and i do whatever excites us.Behind our bedroom door,we role play.I become his girlfriend,his mistress,his latino woman,his country gal.Lawd we have a good time.Sometimes we meet in different places and pretend we are meeting for the first time.Remember ladies,that whatever you wont do,there is always another woman who will. Very happily married,Chrystal
  12. Bridget Alyce Thursday - 14 / 02 / 2013 Reply
    I enjoy your Spirit-filled writings and I share your wisdom with my readers and friends. You are telling what the Lord loves, the TRUTH, in a world that is filled with the lies of the enemy. It is refreshing and encouraging to know there is a voice speaking up for what is righteous and holy and wholly acceptable to God...contrary to "popular" opinion. Continued blessings! Keep edifying and uplifting the masses who hunger and thirst for beauty of God-given love!
  13. Martin Lindsey Thursday - 09 / 05 / 2013 Reply
    You get an amen from a Christian husband on that one Dr. Johnson. I'm sure my wife would agree as well. I'm sharing the post with her and on my social media networks. Thanks again.

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. Married and Sexy? | - November 6, 2012

    [...] read a blog entry called Married, Saved and Still Sexy, and I can actually say that I wish I had the same kind of women friends that this author does!   It [...]
  2. Married, Saved, and Still Sexy | Black and Married With Kids.com – A Positive Image of Marriage and Family « wtpdiaries - November 26, 2012

    [...] Married, Saved, and Still Sexy | Black and Married With Kids.com – A Positive Image of Marriag…. Share this:FacebookEmailPrintTwitterGoogle +1MoreRedditStumbleUponLinkedInTumblrDiggLike this:LikeBe the first to like this. [...]
  3. Miss Aleck & Co. | Sex Toys to Make A Joyful Noise?: Should Some Acts Are Off Limits for Christian Marriage - December 3, 2012

    [...] Married, Saved, and Still Sexy [...]

Add a comment

Free eBook:

Welcome to BMWK!

Our Latest Film: Still Standing




Ad
Ad
Ad
Ad
Ad
Ad

Facebook Fan Page



About Us:

BlackandMarriedWithKids.com was created in 2007 by husband and wife duo Lamar & Ronnie Tyler to challenge stereotypes surrounding African American marriages and families.

© 2011 BlackandMarriedWithKids.com - All Rights Reserved - Tyler New Media, Inc. Site developed by: ABlackWebDesign