Every couple of months one of my married friends has a complete “breakdown” on Facebook and airs their marriage’s “dirty laundry” for all of Facebook to see. The “dirty laundry” ranges from accusations of cheating, to calling out past mates or accusations of not being loving. But, the one thing that all of them have in common is that in their moment of weakness they’ve given people information about their marriage they should not be privy to.
To make matters worse, even if you delete your salacious status within minutes, everyone will still remember the time you “went off” and aired all your business on Facebook. Thus, making your future posts about how wonderful your marriage is not seem true. You see, while Facebook is great for finding old friends and family members and while it is good for connecting with business opportunities, it can ruin your marriage with a click of a button.
Think about these three ways that Facebook is ruining marriages across the country and see if you’re engaging in any of these behaviors:
1. Posting arguments online. Think about this: an angry husband (or wife) gets mad and goes onto Facebook and makes a comment such as , “So apparently (insert spouse’s name) is cheating one me. What should I do?” This is the most common way that Facebook ruins marriages because now you have 1. accused your spouse of cheating. And 2.) invited all 900 of your Facebook friends into your marriage. In a marriage some things are meant to be discussed within the marriage only””not for the world to see. Accusations of cheating and petty arguments can erode your marriage’s foundation.
I remember one time seeing one of my Facebook friends posting the status above and I promise you they had at least 150 people comment on the status. As I read the comments, I felt a “sinking” in my stomach because every comment from the status elicited even more details (from my friend) about what was happening in her marriage. We didn’t have to guess””it was right there typed on Facebook””for the world to see.
There are people who are trying to ruin your marriage or who are just plain nosy. By letting them know what is going on in your house, you have invited them to use your words against you. Later on, I guess my friend had a “change of heart” and deleted the status. But, I promise you that every time he posts something on Facebook about his wife, I remember that status.
What’s a simple way to fix this? Before you post something on Facebook about your marriage, stop and think about if it’s appropriate for the world to know.
2. You becomes friends with an ex boyfriend (or girlfriend) on Facebook and all hell breaks lose! We’ve all had that situation where you get a friend request from someone you used to date and think, “What the hell do they want?” Wanting to be nice you accept the friend request. Then, that first inbox message starts. At that point you realize that this “friend request” was more than your ex wanting to be friends. To make matters worse, many times spouses will keep these interactions secret- the second big mistake. If you reply to the messages and start the “Inbox flirting” going you are making another big mistake that can cost you your marriage.
My advice is to not even start interactions like this. Sure I’m friends with some of my ex’s on Facebook, but only if they’ve gotten over any relationship we’ve had in the past. I remember in the past, there was a Facebook stalker on my page who I had to delete (and block) because he kept “in boxing” me crazy stuff. Me and my husband would laugh about it. But I ultimately had to cut him off my Facebook. If someone starts “in boxing” you, tell your spouse then block and delete that person. Problem solved and marriage saved!
3. You go onto Facebook and post information before your spouse knows. This is probably the easiest thing NOT to do but so many people engage in it. They get mad at their spouse and instead of just not speaking to them for a couple of hours they go on Facebook and change their relationship status! Thus, making the affected spouse to find out (via Facebook or a nosy friend) and then all hell breaks lose! Stop it now and don’t even think about announcing anything on your Facebook page without first telling your spouse!
In the end, Facebook is fun but if you’re in a relationship watch what you’re doing so that you won’t be “deloved” by your spouse via social media!
Now BMWK family, what’s the craziest thing you’ve done directly (or indirectly) to your spouse on Facebook? Have you seen couples doing inappropriate things on facebook?