When I think about the types of relationships that exist – between parents and children, friends, siblings, and extended family members, –none of them compare to the relationship between a husband and a wife. None of them. Yes, marriage is work. Yes, marriage has ups and downs. Yes, marriage, entered into foolishly, can result in a lot of heartache. But, above all, the marriage relationship is beautifully unique.
For me, with God at the center and my husband and I in spiritual agreement, nothing compares to the joy, the freedom, the security, and the peace of marriage. For example, there are things that I can share with my husband that I would never share with anyone else such as: secrets…mistakes…pains….and even experiences with God that are for my husband’s eyes and ears only. Why are they just for him? Because I am confident that he will hide them in his heart, go to God on my behalf, or use them to help me not to hurt me. Next to God, my husband’s eyes and ears provide safe harbor to share the good, the bad, the ugly, and the beautiful.
My intimate fantasies are for my husband’s eyes only.
My “ugly cry” is for his eyes only.
My dirty past is for his ears only.
My deepest desires are for his ears only.
My heartaches and pains are for his ears only.
My scary, transitional moments with God are for his ears only.
In marriage, there are some things you can’t share with anyone else but your spouse (unless it’s a counselor, psychologist, etc.) And, if your spouse values your marriage vows, then what you share will truly be for their eyes and ears only. I dare not tell my girlfriends what my husband shares with me. I dare not reveal his weaknesses and sources of pain. I dare not expose his wounds so others can re-injure him. Those are for my eyes and ears only, and if I take them to anyone, I take them to God.
To have a marriage like this is a blessing, for sure. I do not take it for granted nor risk losing it out of selfishness, fear, or pride. It takes time to get to this place in marriage, but the work is worth it. The blessing of knowing that you can be who you truly are and share what you really feel without it being used against you or broadcast for all the world to see, that’s beautiful.
BMWK family, what are some other things that are for your spouse’s eyes and ears only?