Jared and Kristi Frei struggled for years with infertility and miscarriage in an attempt to expand their family. In 2011, they found hope when Tira Bland gave up her daughter, Leah, for adoption. Unfortunately for Leah’s father, he was not notified by his wife, the adoption agency or the new family until after the adoption took place.
Terry Achane, a drill sergeant in Texas, and then wife, Bland, experienced marital issues shortly after she found out she was pregnant. Despite her desire to have an abortion or to give the baby away, Achane convinced her to keep it. Just over a week after Achane was transferred to South Carolina for work, Bland gave birth to a premature baby. Fearing her marriage would end and she would become a single parent, she’d already signed Leah over for adoption.
Knowing Bland had not notified Leah’s father of her plans, Adoption Center of Choice warned the new family that he may contest it if he found out. It wasn’t until June that Bland called him and let him know his daughter was given up for adoption, but when he tried to contact the adoptive family, they declined to disclose any information. According to the agency, this was standard procedure.
Judge Darold McDade, however, feels the adoption agency’s handling of the case is ‘utterly indefensible” and ordered the child to be returned to her father within 60 days. In response, the Frei family asked that Achane’s parental rights be terminated claiming that he abandoned his wife and unborn child. They have raised over $20,000 to help with legal fees to appeal the decision.
“If they prolong it, that is more time away from my daughter. There are precious moments I can’t get back,” Achane said. “It has been a year and a half now. There is no court order saying they have the right to my child. I just won the case. I want to get my daughter and raise my daughter.”
Read more about the case on the Daily Mail website.
BMWK– What would you have done as the mother or father in this situation? What are your thoughts on how the adoptive family and agency handled it?
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[...] Originally Posted by seeingeyes That's right. If I grunt out a baby in the middle of a field somewhere and I don't bother to fill out the paperwork, then I am a mother even if the state doesn't recognize me as such. And lets even remove the genetic component: If I fish a newborn out of a garbage can and raise him as my own, pouring my own life into his, but I never fill out the paperwork, I am a mother, even if the state doesn't recognize me as such. The state does not confer a change in status upon someone (whether parental or marital), it simply recognizes or fails to recognize (or refuses to recognize) the change in status that has occurred. That would never be your child. If the state came along because the father had been found – that child would be taken from you. There is a case which just went through the courts (and is being discussed on CF in other forums) where a mother gave up her child for adoption, having lied to the father about having a termination or miscarriage (can't remember which). The adoption agency didn't even try to find the father (he was in the military, so they certainly wouldn't have had to try too hard to find him) but instead they let another family adopt the child. A couple of years later, the father found out and instituted a legal case to get his child back. The court found in his favor. It doesn't matter that the family "thought" they were her parents, it doesn't matter how long she has lived with him. What matters is that he is the biological father. Dad Relocates, Comes Home to Find His Child Was Given Up For Adoption | Black and Married With Kids…. [...]
[...] December BMWK did some coverage on the story of a drill sergeant’s wife giving their baby up for adoption following her premature delivery. [...]