This letter from a BMWK reader who asked to remain anonymous, is in response to an article that originally ran yesterday titled: Reality TV? New Show “All My Babies Mamas” is Our Own Doing. Please read it and let us know what you think in the comments section. Were we too harsh?
An Anonymous Letter
Hi. I’d like to keep my name anonymous because of the sensitive nature of one of your Facebook posts today. You posted a video about a man and his baby mamas getting a show on Oxygen. I have to tell you. I’m one of those women.
No, I won’t appear on the show and never met, Shawty Lo, but I’m an African-American woman who fell in love with a man who had more kids than he could count and am now one of his baby mamas. At first, I took your attack on the show very personally, but kept reading the comments of people and I definitely see the point. Yes, we as a culture need to do better by our children by putting them in two parent homes with long-loving relationships as their guide, but we all know that’s just not the world we live in. To enslave us, White people would often separate African-American families. I see a lot of people thinking this show does the same thing in 2013, but I also know something else to be true. There was a time no matter how right or wrong someone was we embraced each other and raised our children in a village. There were all kinds of reasons parents didn’t have nuclear families (masters raping slaves comes to mind, and the aforementioned separation when families were sold), but in the end we didn’t sit around and gossip or if we did we made sure that when that child or even his mother came around they had food, shelter, and the wise counsel of the elders on how to push on. I consider you to be that elder. You have counseled many on various shows, why not step in to counsel these people or at least give some insight as to how to go on versus looking back.
Now as far as getting along with the other mothers in my little situation, I wish we could all sit down because no matter what happens in the future our children are all related. I can’t get away from these women or my child’s father even if I wanted to. As a person who is taking care of her responsibilities I owe my daughter the chance to make the call on what kind of man her father is. I’ve done my part in distancing myself from the situation. Oh, and just so you know when we were together kids just kept popping up. He lied. I didn’t know the full story until we were well on our way to being completely in each other’s lives.
You or any other prominent person knows that it was the Honey Boo Boos and Jerry Springers who brought these things into our living rooms. Like just a little bit of crack will get you hooked, so will a little bit of gossip. People have loved drama since Phil Donahue and Oprah. Yes, the good ones will teach you a thing or two, too, but they know how to mix in their bits of drama. This isn’t new, but it is improved.
I pray for all those women and their kids, and even their father. I got to say that he seems to spend time with them and they may have some difficulties, but as blended families go, they have started at the right place which is communication. They can make it further if we look to solve the problem as a Black community or an American community, but I don’t see how any of the tearing down of their characters (and believe me…at least one of them is embarrassed by this…I know I am) is going to be a part of the solution. Maybe we should see this as an opportunity to embrace the weakest of us because we are only as strong as they are.
With love and admiration…
BMWK family, this obviously is a hot topic. Let us know what you think about this letter in the comments section. Do you agree with the writer?