Baby Blues & Postpartum Depression: It’s Ok to Admit You Need Help (Part 1)

BY: - 8 Jan '13 | Home

Share this article!

default_thumb

When I heard people talking about postpartum depression (PPD) and the baby blues, it was just something I brushed off because I felt like it was something that other women went through. I always looked forward to being a mother, had a loving and supportive husband, and had it all planned out. But by the time our third child was born, I started to realize that no one was exempt from baby blues or PPD…not even myself. I didn’t realize that my daughter’s two hospital stays within her first month of life (four days for jaundice, and a separate five days for a blood transfusion), would have as great an impact on my mental health as it did.

It was months before I admitted, even to my husband, that things just weren’t quite right. I now realize that I was like a lot of other moms in that I was embarrassed about feeling hopeless, overly exhausted and disinterested. I’m so thankful that my case of the baby blues didn’t take a severe turn for the worse. I know that there are women, like Quiana Wade that I interviewed for this article, that go through a severe case of PPD. Here is what she had to say about her experience and what she wishes she would’ve done earlier on.

How did you recognize the signs of PPD?

Well I had a history of depression but had never really gotten help for it, so I knew I was more at risk at developing PPD. I just wasn’t myself. I was extremely tired (which a lot of new moms are). But it was to the point that I just couldn’t get out of bed. I was feeling inadequate and didn’t have that connection with my son that I did when I first had him in the hospital. That feeling went on for a few months so that’s when I knew it was more than just the baby blues. The hardest part was feeling like I was never going to get better. I didn’t feel any of the joy that I was supposed to feel as a new mother. I couldn’t snap out of the way I was feeling: so disconnected from him. I just felt so inadequate and that everyone else (like my mother and my husband) could take care of him way better than I could. I felt like I didn’t need to be around in order for him to be okay.

What were some of the initial steps you took to seek treatment once you knew you needed help?

I waited a really long time before I decided to get help. I just thought that I could handle it and that the feelings I was having would just go away. I found a psychologist through my job and she advised that I go to the ER for an evaluation because I was really bad by that point. I was hysterically crying and couldn’t stop.  The support group at the hospital is honestly what started me on my path to getting better. In addition to joining group therapy, I also started seeing a psychologist for individual therapy. The combination of the two helped me get back on track.

How did PPD affect your marriage? How was your husband able to support you during this time?

It affected my marriage basically by strengthening our partnership. I was so unable to function at the time. There were a lot of irrational thoughts going on, and feelings of inadequacy didn’t go away. My husband is definitely an angel sent from heaven. He really is. He would go to work all day and then come home and tend to me and the baby. He would encourage me to just go lay down or go take a bath and just relax. We already had a good marriage before our son was born, but it made me specifically realize that I didn’t have to do it all. I was able to learn to lean on my husband and he liked to be leaned on.

What advice do you have for moms who think they may be suffering from PPD?

I grew up with a mom who had to do it all, so I had the mindset of, ‘Oh this is just what a mom does’. I put a lot of pressure on myself in that I felt like I should be able to do it because my mom did it by herself. Especially as a black woman, I felt that I should’ve felt stronger than what I was actually feeling. But what really showed my strength was going to get help.

Now that I’m on the other side of it, I’ll tell you what I should’ve done. I should’ve gone to get help much sooner than I did. There was no need to suffer for seven months when there is help out there. If anyone has any history of mental illness, they should definitely let their doctor know about that because then they can tell you what warning signs to look for. But just know that those feelings won’t last forever as I thought they would. Once I grasped the belief that things would get better, it allowed me to be able to start to enjoy motherhood. I had to learn that in order for me to take care of my son, I had to learn how to take care of myself first. Don’t be afraid or ashamed of telling someone that you need help.

I found great help and support from Postpartum Progress and Postpartum Support International.

*DISCLAIMER: the information in this article is not intended to diagnose or treat PPD.*
In part two of this interview, I talk to Dr. Joshua Johannson who is the Director of Cheaha Women’s Health and Wellness in Anniston, AL and specializes in OB/GYN. He is also the Co-chair of the Alabama Breastfeeding Committee and founder of Northeast Alabama Baby Cafe. He will share his advice on what he wants other mothers to know about PPD.
BMWK: Have you or a loved one experienced PPD? How did you get through that period of time?

About the author

Christine St. Vil wrote 100 articles on this blog.

Christine St.Vil is co-author of the Whose Shoes Are Your Wearing: 12 Steps to Uncovering the Woman You Really Want to Be. A happy wife to an amazing hubby of 8 years, and homeschooling mother of three, she teaches moms how to FLY (First Love Yourself). She uses her corporate background to work with women who are ready to start a new business, accelerate their career growth & design a life they love. She's on a mission to help moms to battle the mom guilt epidemic, so they can begin to put themselves first on their never-ending list of priorities.

Store

like what you're reading?

Start Shopping!

Discussion

Facebook Wordpress

47 WordPress comments on “Baby Blues & Postpartum Depression: It’s Ok to Admit You Need Help (Part 1)

  1. Pingback: Baby Blues & Postpartum Depression: It's Ok to Admit You Need Help (Part 1) | Moms 'N Charge

  2. Katherine Stone (@postpartumprog)

    I just love that y’all did this story – so important to raise awareness of postpartum depression!

    Reply
    1. Christine St.Vil

      Hi Katherine! Thanks for taking time for stopping by. I completely agree with and and thank you for all the work you do to educate people on this issue.

      Reply
  3. Pingback: Black And Married With Kids Features Story on Postpartum Depression

  4. Jeanette

    The author said: He would go to work all day and then come home and tend to me and the baby. He would encourage me to just go lay down or go take a bath and just relax.

    This is what husbands are SUPPOSED to do. They don’t deserve extra credit for doing what they are called to do – LOVE their wives. Women do this ALL the time!

    Reply
    1. Christine St.Vil

      Hi Jeanette! I believe Quiana was showing deep appreciation FOR her husband and not giving him extra credit. Unfortunately a lot of women are faced with circumstances in which their spouse does NOT do these things even though they absolutely should.

      Reply
  5. Ronnice foreman

    Yes ppd is real i suffered with it when i had all of my children the social workers from the hospital helped me through it and every since then i have been fine if i can help anyone ill be glad to share my story!!!

    Reply
  6. Pingback: Check out | HeadHeartHand Blog

  7. Pingback: Postpartum Depression: It's Ok to Admit You Need Help (Part 2) | Black and Married With Kids.com - A Positive Image of Marriage and Family

  8. Pingback: Real Moms, Real Talk – Baby Blues & Postpartum Depression (Part 2) | Moms 'N Charge

  9. anxiety attack

    Depression and thoughts regarding lack in personal capabilities follow an anxiety attack.

    Emil Kraepelin described bipolar disorder as an ‘excited depression’ and ‘anxious mania’.

    Reply
  10. Pingback: The Battle Over Depression: Black Men and the Wives That Love Them | Black and Married With Kids.com - A Positive Image of Marriage and Family

  11. freestufftimes.com

    I’m not sure where you’re getting your information, but good topic.
    I needs to spend some time learning more or understanding more.
    Thanks for excellent information I was looking for this
    information for my mission.

    Reply
  12. Government Assisted living

    Hi there! This post couldn’t be written any better!

    Reading this post reminds me of my good old room mate! He
    always kept chatting about this. I will forward this write-up to him.
    Pretty sure he will have a good read. Thanks for sharing!

    Reply
  13. Veola

    When I originally commented I appear to have clicked on the -Notify me when new
    comments are added- checkbox andd now every time a comment is added I recieve 4 emails with the same comment.
    Is there an easy method you aree able to remove me from that
    service? Thanks a lot!

    Also visit my homepage :: Salomons (Veola)

    Reply
  14. Pingback: Attention All Mothers: 4 Tips on Taking Care of Yourself | Moms 'N Charge

  15. sacramento dental implants

    Can I simply just say what a relief to find someone that actually understands what they are discussing on the web.
    You actually understand how to bring a problem
    to light and make it important. A lot more people really need to look at this and understand this side of the story.
    I was surprised that you are not more popular because you
    definitely have the gift.

    Reply
  16. dental implants surprise

    I’m truly enjoying the design and layout of your site. It’s a very easy
    on the eyes which makes it much more pleasant
    for me to come here and visit more often. Did you hire out a designer to create your theme?
    Superb work!

    Reply
  17. east foothills dental implants

    I absolutely love your blog and find a lot
    of your post’s to be exactly I’m looking for.

    Would you offer guest writers to write content available for you?
    I wouldn’t mind composing a post or elaborating
    on a few of the subjects you write about here. Again, awesome site!

    Reply
  18. tampa liposuction

    I’m now not positive where you are getting
    your information, but great topic. I must spend some time studying more
    or understanding more. Thanks for wonderful info I was on the lookout for this information for my mission.

    Reply
  19. job.cehui8.Com

    Greetings from California! I’m bored to tears at work so I decided to check out your site on my
    iphone during lunch break. I love the knowledge you present here and can’t
    wait to take a look when I get home. I’m surprised at how quick your blog loaded on my
    mobile .. I’m not even using WIFI, just 3G ..
    Anyways, fantastic site!

    my weblog :: Advocare testimonials 24 day challenge,
    job.cehui8.Com,

    Reply
  20. tampa iphone repair

    Thank you a bunch for sharing this with all people you actually
    recognize what you are talking approximately! Bookmarked.
    Kindly also visit my website =). We can have a hyperlink change
    agreement between us

    Reply
  21. iphone repair houston

    Hello there! This is my 1st comment here so I just
    wanted to give a quick shout out and tell you
    I genuinely enjoy reading through your blog posts. Can you suggest any
    other blogs/websites/forums that deal with the same subjects?
    Thank you so much!

    Reply
  22. laser lipolitico

    Wow, wonderful blog layout! How lengthy have you ever been blogging for? you made running a blog look easy. The overall look of your web site is wonderful, let alone the content material!

    Reply
  23. Miami lawn service

    Greetings from Florida! I’m bored to death at work so I decided to check out your
    site on my iphone during lunch break. I enjoy the info you present here
    and can’t wait to take a look when I get home. I’m surprised
    at how quick your blog loaded on my cell phone ..
    I’m not even using WIFI, just 3G .. Anyhow, amazing blog!

    Reply
  24. eprovojuiceplus.com

    You really make it seem so easy along with your presentation however
    I find this topic to be really one thing which I believe I would
    never understand. It seems too complicated and extremely vast for
    me. I’m looking forward on your next put up, I will try to get the hold of it!

    My personal blog about modern technology: anxiety workbook bourne (eprovojuiceplus.com)

    Reply
  25. stock trade

    I was suggested this web site by my cousin. I’m not sure
    whether this post is written by him as no one else know such detailed
    about my difficulty. You’re amazing! Thanks!

    Reply
  26. whiteboard paint

    In the bedroom, window treatments have double duty. very nice looking and functional decoration for the kitchen.
    The employer needs to help the employees feel at home so that the employees can be at their best productivity.

    Reply
  27. sound proofing

    In their simplest form there is a frame along the outside
    to hold the screen material tight, spine that holds the screen material to the frame and then the screen material itself.
    Like Digital Performer, it also performs best when teamed with proprietary hardware.
    With enough mast, even large boats can propel to far places.

    Reply
  28. junk removal

    A few weeks ago I came across the Sticky Buddy advertised on T.
    Every year, millions of trees are cut to produce junk mail.
    The contact details of various junk removal service providers
    can be searched quite easily on the internet, although you can also make an online contact.

    Reply
  29. fashion

    of course like your web-site however you need to take a look at the spelling on several of your posts.
    Several of them are rife with spelling issues and I tto
    find it very bothersome to inform the realiry on the other hand I’ll surely
    come back again.

    Reply
  30. Houston roof mold removal

    There’s the oar to the left, which is in the corner.
    Detailed list of all goods utilised for the duration of our
    function. Brooklyn mold removal and mold inspections Brooklyn will also inform you that smaller mold abatement techniques can be performed by the home owner, thereby avoiding the extra expenditure involved.

    my homepage – Houston roof mold removal

    Reply
  31. Clash of the Clans

    Good post. I learn something new and challenging on websites I stumbleupon on a daily basis.
    It’s always useful to read content from other authors and practice something
    from other sites.

    Reply
  32. mold removal Austin

    Add 4 ounces of tri-sodium phosphate which is commonly known. Also get readings from places
    where chimneys, porches, garages, and patios attach to
    the house. Chlorine is a powerful whitener and disinfectant, but can cause negative
    health effects in people, plants, and animals.

    Feel free to visit my page :: mold removal Austin

    Reply
  33. mold removal San Jose

    A half cup of vinegar per gallon of warm water is recommended.
    Also get readings from places where chimneys,
    porches, garages, and patios attach to the house. While many can live with small stains in the carpeting, and cover them with pieces of furniture, remember that any growth beneath or within the padding will be far
    more expensive the longer it spreads.

    Look into my web-site; mold removal San Jose

    Reply
  34. A Pattek

    I like the valuable info you provide in your articles. I’ll bookmark
    your weblog and check again here frequently. I’m quite sure I will
    learn lots of new stuff right here! Good luck for the next!

    Here is my blog: A Pattek

    Reply
Add Comment Register



Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>