Much of the relationship advice that I hear or read now-a-days is geared towards women. I can’t turn on the TV, pick up a book, or read an article on the web, without hearing someone telling women, and especially black women, what they need to do to have successful healthy relationships. And for the most part, I am happy to take what I need and to filter the rest of it.
I ran across an article the other day written by Dr. Corey Guyton, Black Women are Not the Only Individuals Who Need Relationship Advice, where he says he too was guilty of focusing primarily on giving Black women advice early in his career:.
“I AM GUILTY AS CHARGED! At one point in my writing career, I focused specifically on giving Black women advice about dating. At the time I thought I was doing something noble, but now that I have been in the profession for some time and had an opportunity to explore the works of many writers, I have realized that writing to Black women has become the popular thing to do.”
“Unfortunately, a lot of us do not fully address the totality of relationship issues in the Black community because one cannot find a solution to a problem if all parties are not addressed. As I have always been told, it takes two to tango and there are two sides to every story. For anyone who has aspirations of getting into the business of giving relationship advice or if you are currently giving relationship advice, realize that this business should not be about building your name on the back of the easy target, Black Women.”
After reading Dr. Guyton’s aricle, my first thought was that I agree; Most of the advice that I see is geared towards women. I have also noticed, that at least for our site, women make up the largest part of our audience and most of our writers are women. And since we ask our writers to write from their own personal perspectives…then most of the articles and advice will be geared towards women. And the same goes for our male writers…they are talking to the men when they write. (By the way, we are looking for more male writers.) And then there are many articles that are geared towards the relationships as a whole.
But Dr. Guyton’s article made me think of something else that I read every day on this site and around the web…..Men and Women blaming each other rather than addressing the issues they they are bringing to the relationships. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve read:
“That’s nice..but what about the men, they need to be working on themselves too!”
“Or, women need to make some adjustments too…what about them.!”
Not every article or book is going to address both sides of the equation. There are going to be some that are geared specifically for men or women. So, while I do believe that we could use more articles that address men, I also think that people should be careful not to miss out on learning what they can do improve their situations.
BMWK – what are your thoughts. Do you agree with Dr. Guyton? If you are married, does your spouse read relationship articles or books? Do you read them together?