When Was the Last Time You Wrote Your Spouse a Love Letter?

Photo Credit: Jessica Diamond via Flickr

I am really feeling this new issue of Ebony Magazine. Anything celebrating love and relationships immediately captures my attention; and the three different covers highlighting celebrity couples is no exception. As I read the articles on the couples featured, I was inspired and felt somewhat school girl like as I thought about the start of my own relationship. What I enjoyed the most were the love letters each husband wrote to their wife. I remember early on in my relationship with my husband, he was in Atlanta and I was in Chicago. Although we were only dating at that point I knew we had something special and he would be my husband.

Our long distance relationship wasn’t always easy. During that time apart we had phone conversations and visits back and forth, but what I think was most exciting were the weekly love letters we sent. Yes, we wrote letters all the time. Even though we may have had the same conversations over the phone, there was something special about writing to him. The letters allowed me to express myself even further than I had been able to do over the phone. I remember the days of racing to the mailbox to check for his letters. Our letters were exciting and filled with love.

Those letters kept us engaged and anxious to spend time together. They also maintained our focus when we were apart. Our relationship, at that time, required us to try even harder. I believe it created a great foundation, one that we still benefit from today. We did get married, settled down, and started our life together. Life took over, children arrived, careers took off  and the love letters stopped. Now, we don’t actually need the love letters to know or feel the love in our marriage, because our actions show it. However, the Ebony article helped me to realize how much I miss them. It might not make a whole lot of sense to write a love letter to someone you communicate with and see everyday, but I desire to bring them back into our relationship. This year we will celebrate 15 years of marriage and while it gets better with each year, I want to make sure we don’t forget to incorporate those small displays of affection that brought us so much joy in the beginning.

Even as I began writing this article I pulled out those letters I mentioned above. I have held on to each one of them. Ahh the memories. Just reading them reminded me of the excitement and passion that was so evident during our dating relationship. Love feels good when it’s done right. Expressing love to our spouse can come in various forms, the most import thing is that we take every opportunity to show it. It’s the little things that count.

BMWK — When was the last time you wrote your spouse a love letter?


About the author

Tiya Cunningham-Sumter is a Certified Life & Relationship Coach, founder of Life Editing, and a Career Coach/Trainer. She helps couples and individuals rewrite their life to reflect their dreams. Tiya was recently featured in Ebony Magazine and on the Michael Baisden Show. She resides in Chicago with her husband and two children. For more of her life and love wisdom visit www.notyouraverageadvice.com


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Comments (7)

  1. Temmy Thursday - 24 / 01 / 2013 Reply
    One of the most important way to keep a marriage alive is to keep the passion burning. i think this is a good idea, will try it out myself. God bless u for sharing this.
    • Tiya Cunningham-Sumter Thursday - 24 / 01 / 2013 Reply
      So true Temmy! God Bless you too!
  2. Anonymous Thursday - 24 / 01 / 2013 Reply
    I love this, Tiya! I thought the same thing when I saw the cover of Ebony this month. I have love letters (and cards) in nearly every drawer of our bedroom. When I recently traveled to 9 countries on business (and without my hubby :(), I made a point to send him a love letter when I'd touch down in each country. Every day when we'd talk on the phone, he would be beaming (especially, on the days when one of my letters arrived at his office). This is so important and beautiful.
    • Fawn Weaver Thursday - 24 / 01 / 2013 Reply
      I didn't mean to make this anonymous...I forgot to enter my name and email address :).
    • Tiya Cunningham-Sumter Thursday - 24 / 01 / 2013 Reply
      Fawn, Yes, it just feels good. It takes time and dedication to actually sit down and write one and I think that's why it means so much. Especially in this day and age. 9 countries sounds just fabulous!

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. Best of the Marriage Web: Week of January 20th | Marriage Advice for Busy Couples - January 25, 2013

    [...] Write your spouse a love letter. When was the last time you did this? Black and Married With Kids  [...]

  2. Happy Spouses Day! | Black and Married With Kids.com - A Positive Image of Marriage and Family - January 25, 2013

    [...] you are in need of some ideas consider cooking dinner, writing your spouse a love letter or showing them a new way you plan to love them this year. Take the time to remind them that they [...]

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