Me: “We have been together for a long time, have I ever lead you wrong?”
Her: “Well (rolling her eyes slightly)…No”
Me: “With that being said when I say I got it, then baby I got it. “
Her: (Pausing, then as she melts into submission) “Ok babe (blushing) ‘You got it’ ”
So let me bring you up to speed; that was the tail end of an argument that my wife and I had on Friday night (what started it isn’t important!). What you don’t know though is that I wasn’t just talking to any average woman. My wife is a beautiful, educated, bachelor degree and MBA having woman that makes more money than I do. Let me say that again…she makes more money than I do and not to mention she is also an undercover FEMINIST! Now that wasn’t me bragging on my wife, that was just me letting you know that things aren’t easy as it seems! On the other hand it was me letting you know that it’s very possible…submission that is!
You hear women say all the time “well I’m not submitting to anybody” and you hear the men always say “women don’t know how to submit anymore” and in this lies the disconnect! Now ladies let me explain what I mean by “submission.” The concept is simple; allow him to LEAD and TRUST his direction. Now let me address the women’s’ point of view first. The new aged woman is no longer being raised to merely find a husband and bear children; she is being raised to be dynamic, independent, and unstoppable! Not to mention many women are growing up with no father’s or with what I call a “double dutch” father who likes to jump in and out of their lives. Thus setting up such a great example of what manhood really is (I hope you sense my sarcasm). Oh and let’s not forget that the first time she tried that whole “submission” thing it was probably with a boy, posing as a man, who manifested himself as a unreliable, irresponsible, unfaithful, BUM! Ladies raise your hand if this sounds familiar. Now after counting hands that explains the whole “well I’m not submitting to anybody” statement.
Now fellas this might get a little rough for you, but tough it out! When the fellas say “well women just don’t know how to submit anymore” my first question is always “well why should she?” I believe as men many of us have developed this entitlement mentality and it might be time to check ourselves. Fellas there are a few things that will decide whether or not she is willing to submit to you:
1) Dependability-Do you show up? Not when you feel like it, but when she needs you there? You can’t just be there sometimes, but you need to be there MOST times. That means you need to be there for her physically and emotionally and she needs to know without a shadow of a doubt that if nobody else “got her” then her man “got her!”
2) Consistency-You have to build a track record. You need to be consistent at being dependable, responsible, a provider, and a protector. You can’t quit 5 different jobs in a year just because you “didn’t like it” and think she is supposed to feel comfortable when you say “I got this.”
3) Confidence-She won’t believe you can do it if YOU don’t believe you can do it. Your aura must exude confidence. Not only will she find it sexy, but she will also find it reassuring.
4) Humility-You must be humble enough to know the limits of your abilities. Your humility will let her know that you won’t take her down a path of destruction because you know when to say “baby, I need help.”
My point is this: Fellas the ladies are more than willing to submit and they really want to be vulnerable in their love for you, but it’s not just something you get, it’s something you must earn. Now ladies when you find a man that has earned that right through his action, then trust that he has your best interest at heart and follow these directions:
1. Sit back
BMWK — Get involved in the discussion. What are your views on the concept of submission in a marriage??