From time to time, we receive comments from individuals that say things like: “Well that post was nice…but I don’t believe in God or I don’t go to church, so what about my marriage?”
I, as well as many of our writers, believe that marriage is a covenant (a spiritually binding relationship) between my husband, me and God. And as Dr. Michelle so eloquently states in her article, I Can’t Imagine Marriage Without God:
“I am not too proud to admit that without a power bigger and wiser than us, my husband and I would be lost. . . if not divorced. So, not only do I reference God in my writing, but I also reverence Him in my life. My marriage isn’t perfect, but the God I serve is. And, as long as we keep Him first, we will be just fine.”
So no matter what we are discussing, inevitably, it’s going to come back around to understanding God’s perspective on marriage. And when times get tough and we feel like our marriages are under attack, we turn to God’s word. As Briana Myricks wrote:
“On one particularly difficult night, I turned to my Bible for answers on how to deal with this, on how to fight for my marriage, despite the Devil trying his best to destroy it. “Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” Galatians 6:9 (NIV)”
But if you don’t believe in God and you don’t read the Bible, then perhaps Bible verses are not what you want to hear. And this brings to mind two things that my mother always tells me, which are: 1. you have to meet people where they are…and 2. you have lead by example. So, I take that to mean you have to do more than just talk about God’s word and reference bible verses. You have to be living and breathing examples of what God asks us to do in marriage. In Ephesians 5:33, we are asked to do two simple things in marriage…just two: Love and Respect. And I want my marriage to embody those rules so much so that people want to know….what is it? What is it that makes your marriage so good. Because I want some of that.
I also thought about something that Speech Thomas, lead singer from the Grammy Award-winning group Arrested Development, said in our last movie, Still Standing. He said:
I feel for someone that does not have some type of standard that they dream towards and that they’re pushing toward. And that they know when they are not meeting that mark so that they can reach for that……Any decisions that we make in our lives are based on what standard is around us.
Speech and his wife Yolanda were dealing with the devastating impact that infidelity can have on a marriage. But when they decided to understand what God says about marriage, it changed the course of their marriage. And they are Still Standing strong over 16 years later.
So, if you do not believe in God, then perhaps you and your spouse should ask yourselves and agree upon the standards that you do have for marriage. Don’t just wing it…set some standards.
And just this one last thing, one of the things that made me 100% sure that I wanted to marry my husband Lamar was his faith in God. Because as Leroy Scott states..when husbands believe God, the game changes:
“When men do this, they set themselves on a course, not tied to the frustrations of their past, but rather to the fruition of their future. Their motives are driven by faith and the secrets of their hearts are healed without being revealed. They lead everything towards one direction, making all things work together for the good of their family. When husbands believe God; the game changes.”
BMWK — What standards have you set for your marriage?
Checkout a teaser from Still Standing below. And you can see the full trailer here -