I have said it before and I will say it again, marriage requires effort. Loving someone and making them a priority comes with its own set of challenges. Whenever marriages hit those rough patches there are usually certain factors that help the couple stay focused on solution building. Without specific motivators the couple may sometimes consider taking other drastic actions.
Because a relationship is comprised of two imperfect people, there are bound to be a few bumps along the road. How we handle challenges typically depend on the strength of the foundation the relationship was built on. Sometimes it’s easier to walk away but other times we have invested too much to just give up. I remember early in my marriage having one of those hypothetical conversations with a family member and them asking me what action I would take if I my husband was unfaithful. I immediately jumped and proudly proclaimed “I’m out of there.” In my mind there would be no ifs, ands, or buts about it. It seemed real simple at the time. Years later that same family member asked me that same question but this time my response wasn’t as clear cut. I even said “we’ll have to see.” My response changed because I matured in my marriage. There were now children involved and a lot of great years invested in this marriage and it wouldn’t be so easy to walk away.
What I really think happened is that I now have factors that encourage me to give my all to my marriage. I now have 3 motivators in my life to remind me why I have to make my marriage work.
Motivator #1 God and our spiritual connection. I know without a shadow of a doubt my marriage was destined by God. Because God has never broken a promise to me, I will not break the promise I made on my wedding day to love my husband until death do us part.
Motivator #2 My children. Yes, I know you aren’t suppose to stay in an unhealthy relationship just for the sake of your children. But my children are the primary reason my husband and I strive so hard to maintain our healthy relationship. They make me want to live my whole life right. I consider them in many of the actions I take. My children deserve and have the right to grow up in a healthy loving environment.
Motivator #3 Myself. I deserve true love and happiness. In honoring myself I know that I am worthy of the best that life has to offer and I am determined not to be a statistic. So even when things might seem a little challenging, I know my marriage is solid, I adore my husband and I know he really loves me. Of course there are things that need improving but overall I have a great marriage. The love I have for myself makes me want to work even harder to make it last. I am determined to make my marriage work. My motivators just remind me why it’s so important.
BMWK — What motivates you to make your marriage Work?