Does Your Spouse Come First in Your Marriage?

BY: - 1 Mar '13 | Marriage

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Photo Credit: personal wedding photo by Visionaries Media

If you tuned in to HLN on television today and saw Ronnie and Lamar’s segment with Kyra Phillips on Raising America (#RaisingAmerica) you may have seen a great discussion on Giuliana Rancic’s statement to Us Weekly regarding her marriage.

“We’re husband and wife, but we’re also best friends, and it’s funny because a lot of people, when they have kids, they put the baby first, and the marriage second,” says the 37-year-old breast-cancer survivor. “That works for some people. For us, I find, we put our marriage first and our child second, because the best thing we can do for him is have a strong marriage.”

For many mothers this can be a challenging area as we struggle with meeting the immediate needs of our children, and the seemingly not immediate needs of our spouse. Oftentimes it is much easier to tell our spouse to wait than our crying infant, curious toddler, or hormonal teenager. We get wrapped up in our job demands, caring for children, and various day-to-day tasks and at the end of the day sometimes feel depleted. As a result we find ourselves saying something has got to give and sadly sometimes it is the relationship we share with the person we have built our life with.

My husband reminds me often that one day our children will be adults and then it will be just the two of us. That alone is a reason to work on our own relationship with each other. Another reason is that we love each other and, we made a commitment to one another.

Our children are adorable, and growing so rapidly. I find myself wanting to get lost in their childhood, enjoying every moment I have with them. But as much as they need me so does my spouse. Read more on Giuliana Rancic’s view on marriage at Us Weekly.

BMWK — For you who comes first your spouse or your children?

About the author

Krishann Briscoe

Krishann Briscoe is a child welfare professional turned freelancer with a background in child and adolescent development and social work. In addition to authoring her personal blog His Mrs. Her Mr., Krishann is a contributor for Disney's Babble, The Conversation and The Conscious Perspective. Krishann resides in Southern California with her husband and their two daughters.


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3 WordPress comments on “Does Your Spouse Come First in Your Marriage?

  1. nikia

    No. Children are treated as mere additions, accessories to marriage. Why is it that you can’t love them differently? Why is it that you MUST love one more than the other? I am a mother, and I love my man and my child unconditionally, but DIFFERENTLY. What it take to maintain a relationship is different than my duties and undying love for my child. Further more, I don’t know why everyone acts as if their love for their partners have no limits, because it does. Parental love, spousal/partner love. My point is you can be both a partner and parent. These are two different hats to wear, they can’t be compared.

  2. Pingback: Milwaukee Community Journal » WISCONSIN'S LARGEST AFRICAN AMERICAN NEWSPAPER » Don’t Date A Woman With Kids If You Won’t Marry A Woman With Kids

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