I know what you are probably thinking: “Ronnie, you and Lamar have made it your mission to support relationships and marriage. And, relationships are not perfect, they have their ups and their downs…their ebbs and flows. So why in the world would you tell someone to get out?”
And here is what I say to that: Lamar and I want everyone to be empowered with the right tools that will enable them to have healthy unions and to be able to face every storm or trial that comes their way. We believe that you should have thriving relationships, and not just relationships that are simply surviving. And while every relationship goes through it’s trials, there is a big difference between a bad spell and a 5, 10, or 20 year period of suffering arguing, fighting and just all out dysfunction.
Lamar and I get letters, almost daily, from people that are hurting. And they are staying in marriages, for 15 to 20 years or more, with a spouse that is a serial cheater, or that is verbally or physically abusive. These people in are relationships with no intimacy, no affection, and no cohesion. And, they are writing to us because they don’t know what to do next.
And my answer to them is, GET OUT. But wait…GET OUT does not necessarily mean leaving the marriage. To me, getting out means doing what ever you need to do to move your relationship from it’s current state. And for some people…this may mean getting out literally But for others, it may mean taking the necessary actions to make some changes. Either way, you can not afford to continue to live in your current circumstances.
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