10 Conversations Every Married Couple Should Have, Often

BY: - 10 Jun '13 | Marriage

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When Lamar and I were dating, he said I had up a wall.  And if you talk to him about it, he will proudly boast about “breaking down my wall.” Most of the time, I jokingly deny it.  But Lamar speaks the truth….there was a wall…hell..it was a fortress.

I had up a wall because of my past hurts, past disappoints, past relationship failures,  and past bad choices.   I put up this wall to protect me, but what I failed to realize is that it also prevented me….from moving on, from letting go, from allowing Lamar to love me fully, and from loving Lamar freely.

Thank God, Lamar felt that our relationship was special enough to stick around and to help me break down that wall, brick by brick.  Because it did not come easy, trusting someone with your heart after it has been broken is no easy feat. But Lamar jumped through some hoops and put up with some stuff. And now, I have to tell you that it feels soooo good to let go, to let someone in, and to be loved.

I really feel like I can be naked with Lamar, both literally and figuratively.  This really means that I am able to open up share with him my deepest and sometimes darkest feelings and insecurities.

And now that we are married, people ask us all of the time to tell them the one thing that makes our marriage work.  And, I always tell them..that it is really hard to pin point one thing as there are so many things that we do to make it work.  But, I would put good communication at the top of that list.  There’s nothing that we don’t talk about and that we can’t share with each other. We talk all of the time about everything and about nothing.

Click here to read 10 conversations every married couple should have.  And then let us know what we should add to this list.

About the author

Ronnie Tyler


Ronnie Tyler is the co-creator of BlackandMarriedWithKids.com and co-producer of the films Happily Ever After: A Positive Image of Black Marriage, You Saved Me, Men Ain't Boys and Still Standing. The proud mom of 4 has been selected by Parenting Magazine as a Must-Read Mom and is one of Babble's Top 100 Mom Bloggers.


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One thought on “10 Conversations Every Married Couple Should Have, Often

  1. Tiya

    Love this! Especially #5 and #10. Talking about being wrong is so important and it’s one many of us fail to do. Also talking about nothing, seems small, but makes a huge impact. Each of these are the most important conversations we could be having with our spouses. Great article!


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