My Kids Won’t Let Me Get Divorced

BY: - 17 Oct '13 | Marriage

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My Kid's Won't Let Me Get Divorced

by Heaven Beiene-Carthon

Last weekend we went to a birthday party for a 7 year-old. We were told to meet up at the birthday girl’s house and then we would all leave together to the birthday location together. I was one of the first ones to arrive to the house with my daughters. I was talking to two other moms there who had husbands that were also affiliated with the NFL in some capacity or another. The kids began to play and we introduced ourselves to one another and began talking about the different cities we had moved to… how many times we have had to move… the best cities we liked, etc.

One of ladies mentioned that at one time they were in Green Bay for several years. I told the ladies that Green Bay was the one place I would struggle with having to move to and if the man accepted a job there, it might be grounds for divorce. I was kidding. We laughed it off.

While we continued to talk, my 5-year-old pulls on my shirt. I ignore her and without looking in her direction, I remove her hands off my shirt and try to continue to talk. She keeps tugging on my shirt. I bend over and tell her in her ear, “Do you see me talking? If you don’t have an emergency, you need to go play or I’m going to make an emergency for you!” She runs off… We continue to talk.

A minute or two later, the 5-year-old comes back with her 8-year-old sister. They both stand there next to me. They don’t say anything. They just stand there. I can tell they are waiting for me to be quiet so they can interject. I look at them, “How can I help you?”

Raven (8-year-old): We need to talk to you about something.

Me: OK?

Raven: Can we go over here in this other room?

Me: OK?

We walk into the next room that is empty.

Me: What’s the problem?

Raven: Rhea said that you just told those ladies that you are going to get divorced!

Me: NO I DIDN’T!

Rhea (5-year-old): YES YOU DID!! I heard you!

Me: NO!… What I said was, if we had to move to Green Bay, then I would want to get divorced! But I was kidding. And we aren’t  moving to Green Bay anyway… so we are good. Why y’all all up in grown folk conversation anyway?!? Shouldn’t you be playing!??

Raven: So basically, you DID say it?

Rhea is looking at me with her mouth poked to the side and her eyes wide open… looking at me like, “Well what is it? Did you? Or did you not say that?

I just looked at them with a blank stare…. Are these lil heffas trying to check me!?

Me: Listen, that’s not what I meant. It was a joke. We are NEVER getting divorced. Ya’ll need to go play!

I grab them by their shoulders, turn them around and we start walking in the direction back into the other room.

Right before we walk into the room where everyone else is Raven says,

 Well next time, you just don’t need to say daddy and divorce in the same sentence and then we won’t have a problem.

Heaven Beiene-Carthon is a full-time wife, mother, Internet and social media junkie, as well as a part-time blogger at www.onlyoneheaven.com.

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7 WordPress comments on “My Kids Won’t Let Me Get Divorced

  1. Lesha

    That is so funny! Your girls checking you…Kids sure can catch you by surprise! You never know how their little minds break down information.

    Reply
  2. Lula

    Lol my fam is a trip cuz u have your hands full … I’m defiantly not looking forward to my 3 girls to check me on the near future. Lol love ya

    Reply
  3. Jake Wrenfield

    Divorce is something that always tends to scare and confuse kids. It’s kind of cute in a way how concerned your daughter was. Kids just want what’s best for their parents and to always see them happy. They see the word “divorce” as being negative and hurtful for their parents.

    My wife and I are sadly headed to divorce now. We haven’t told our 3 year old daughter yet. We are waiting for the right time so we can be sure to speak openly and clearly in an effort to avoid some confusion. Our lawyer, Marshall Davis Brown, has been helping us plan the best way to break the news to her.

    Reply
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