I know someone who is young and attractive and currently looking for “the one.” She dates a lot and ultimately becomes serious with some guy she’s met, but unfortunately “the one” hasn’t showed up yet. She wants her happily ever after, saying that she is hoping for this wonderful man who will treat her like a queen. There is just one problem; she doesn’t treat herself like a queen. She doesn’t know her worth – at all.
Whether you are dating or married, I think there is one very important thing that anyone looking for (or trying to maintain) love should always keep in mind. You can’t expect someone to give you the world if deep down inside, you don’t think you are worth it.
I have insecurities. Frankly, I have never met a person who doesn’t. However, even with my insecurities and flaws, I know my worth. I know why I matter. I know what I have to offer, not just in my most meaningful relationships, but to the world. I am not exactly where I would like to be in my life, but I am happy with where I am because I know this place is part of the journey. I also know that the man I happily share this journey with may not be by my side if I didn’t show him how I expected to be treated based on how I have treated myself.
I often hear women say negative things about themselves. Sometimes it’s related to their body image (I am guilty of this), sometimes it’s about establishing a meaningful career, and sometimes it’s about the type of mom or wife they think they are. Here’s the thing we all need to know. On your worst day, when you feel like an epic failure, please acknowledge that almost ever woman you know has had that very same moment. And also keep in mind that your crappy moments are not who you are, and they should not define how you treat yourself.
After we experience rough moments in life, we have to just let it go and give ourselves a hug. Messing up is alright. So is feeling imperfect. What’s not alright is being unkind to yourself. Do you treat yourself well? Do you say kind things to yourself? Do you make time for yourself? Do you engage in activities that make you feel beautiful and sexy and happy? If the answer is no, then things have to change.
One of the most important things that anyone can do to find joy is to stop expecting people to give them what they won’t give themselves.
One of the most important things that anyone can do to find joy is to stop expecting people to give them what they won’t give themselves. If you want love, learn how to truly love yourself. If you want respect, makes decision that reflect how much you respect yourself. If you want happiness, realize that no one should be responsible for giving you that. You have to figure out how to give it to yourself.
Once we give ourselves everything we desire from a partner, I truly believe we are more likely to attract the right one, and our current relationships have a much better chance of lasting.
What have you learned about finding joy for yourself?
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