by Tara Pringle Jefferson
In celebrating the New Year, I took a trip down memory lane and thought about the lessons I’ve learned in the three years since I first became a mom. My kids are my everything and they make me a little wiser each day.
Because of my kids I’ve learned:
1. I can do it. No doubt about it. No matter what “it” is, I can do it. I was plagued with so much doubt while pregnant with my daughter that I didn’t even enjoy feeling her kick because every day the kicks would get stronger and it would be a constant reminder that I still didn’t have my life together and she was ON.THE.WAY. I look at how far I’ve come in the three years since she’s been born and I marvel at my accomplishments. Three years ago, I brought my daughter home from the hospital to a college DORM. Not family and parent housing, but a DORM. With freshman. With no job. Now I have my own house and a great job with a great salary. I don’t know how far I would have come without my children there to motivate me.
2. I don’t get to eat when I want to. Before I had kids, I would wake up thinking about dinner. What I was going to eat, how I was going to cook it, what plate I would put it on. I was SERIOUS about my food. Now I can rarely eat dinner without getting heartburn because dinner is so short during the mad period of time between coming home from work and the kids going to bed. But I’ve learned to adjust, because in this simple little realization, the lesson is that it isn’t all about me. In reality, it never has been, but now I know! LOL.
3. Most frustration and stress occurs because of something you can’t control. I’ve learned to focus on the things that I can do something about. My stress levels have plummeted since realizing this.
4. Giving more love is usually the best answer. At times there is nothing more challenging than loving a 3-year-old. They’re bossy, they talk back, they have OPINIONS up the wazoo. Sometimes I have to stop and ask myself What am I doing wrong How can I help this child? Usually the answer is found within a hug and a request from Mommy to stop the madness, that we’re a family and we work together. Surprisingly, it works at diffusing 95% of the tantrums and near-tantrums.
5. Sometimes crying is okay. For you, not the kids I mean. Sometimes I’ve held things in for a little too long and they come rushing out in the form of a funk that lasts a day or so. Sometimes the best thing to do is to let it flow and take your time coming out of it.
6. Take lots of pictures and video. Man, things happen so fast that if you don’t find some way to record it you will forget all those precious moments that you want to cling to when you are old and gray, and you want your kids to remember after you’re gone.
7. There’s only one life. So make the most of it.
What about you? What have you learned since becoming a parent?
Tara Pringle Jefferson is a freelance writer living in Ohio with her husband and two children. Visit her blog, www.theyoungmommylife.com, to read more of her observations about life, motherhood and love.
My goodness, I did a post on the love of my children today! I’ve learned SO much. I’ve been married almost 13 years and we have ALWAYS had a child. It’s never been just me and my husband. They teach me so much daily it’s hard to pick one thing.
.-= Adrienne´s last blog ..The love of your child. =-.
The one thing I’ve learned since becoming a parent is that, you don’t control life, and it doesn’t always go according to YOUR PLAN! My childen are pretty much grown, two boys 20 and 22. I am 45 and my husband is 48 and we became Grandparents in May 2009, for the first time. It sure threw us for a loop because my Son and his girlfriend of 3 years are in college and it just wasn’t the right time for all of this, but you know what? Our Grandson Eric has been the BEST thing in our lives since he has gotten here. We Love that child like nobodys business. I just look at him, in unbelief that he is here. My Son & Girlfriend are doing great, they have one more year left of school. They are working, going to school, AND raising a Son, TOGETHER. So, people can’t tell me that it can’t be done, because I’m seeing it with my own two eyes. I believe it’s how bad you want it, and with God’s help you’ll persevere.
Sorry, didn’t mean to go on, and on. I think we all just need to count our BLESSINGS & be THANKFUL for what we have vs. what we don’t have. God Bless!
One Love,
Beth
Being a parent is wonderful and scary at the same time. My son is ADHD and ever since he has learned to walk he has been a hand full. Yet, he is the love of my life. When I look at him and his older sister, they make me want to do better, and be better for them. I want to give them all the things that I didn’t have and some of the the things that I did have when I was growing up. I complain, fuss, and feel like a failure more times than I would like to admit but at the end of the day….I love my children. They are my reason for living day to day.
Being a mother of one, I have learned the importance of being a good person for ME. My eight year old daughter has taught me that I have to be a better person for her to reflect on as well as myself. I live for her.
oh, number 4 and 5 really hit home. Yeah…..
I have learned to take care of me.
.-= African American Mom´s last blog ..I keep staying with the times =-.
I have been a mother long before I had my first child. I learned long ago that is not about me. These little ppl brought into our lives are looking up to us to take care of them., but it makes us not only grow but “grow up”. For the past few years I wondered what I was going to do when the last kid really left the nest, I have been taking care of kids since the age of 10, it’s all I know. I am a new Grannie and I couldn’t be more happy. My kids/sisters have made me proud to be their mom and are just the type of ppl that know how to encourage w/out even knowing it. I would like to think that is something I unknowingly showed them. Being a parent does require paitence, unconditional love and understanding. I would not trade parenting for anything. It may be a challenge but the rewards are so amazing.
I’ve learned that just because we aren’t connected in that carried-for-9-months way, we’re still very much connected. Discipline is another way to show your love. I had to have my little girl(and oldest of the 2) sit in time out for a while and took away her privilages of playing with her toys. When the tears dried up I got about 10 hugs and kisses and “love you mommy”s before bedtime.
MissJay January 15, 2010 at 12:58 am
Ive learned that just because we arent connected in that carried-for-9-months way, were still very much connected. Discipline is another way to show your love. I had to have my little girl(and oldest of the 2) sit in time out for a while and took away her privilages of playing with her toys. When the tears dried up I got about 10 hugs and kisses and “love you mommyâ€s before bedtime.
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It’s not easy but so worh it. Kids are jut kids and don”t realize it hurts us more (at the moment). It really does hurt us more than it hurts them. Hugs and kisses are so precious. Kids can melt us, but we have to rear them.
I have learned as a Mom, that the day will end and tomorrow is all brand new and a chance to renew or fix IT will arive.