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20 Conversation Starting Questions for Couples Who Want to Grow Together, Not Apart

Most “get to know you” question lists are aimed at people who are dating and/or considering marrying someone; but what about after the wedding? The discovery of the personality traits and quirks that make your spouse unique should not end at the altar!

To avoid growing apart over the years, it’s important that you take the time to get to know your spouse and figure out what makes them tick.

The art of growing together is rooted in the effort you put forth to engage in thoughtful dialogue with your spouse about a variety of topics, on a regular basis.

Here is a list of twenty questions and conversation starters that you can ask your spouse (not all at once, though!) to help you get to know your sweetheart better.

  1. What do you love the most about being married to me?
  2. If you had to pick one thing we can improve on in our marriage, what would it be?
  3. What inspires you?
  4. What can I do for you today?
  5. What is your biggest fear?
  6. What has been the best decision you’ve ever made (other than marrying me!)?
  7. If you could retire tomorrow with enormous wealth, what would you do all day?
  8. What would you most like people to remember about you after you die?
  9. What’s your favorite memory of us as a couple?
  10. If you could have written any book, what book would you like to have written?
  11. If you could go only to one restaurant for the next five years, which would it be?
  12. If you had to lose one of your five senses, which one of them would you prefer to lose and why?
  13. What’s more important to you…the ride or the destination?
  14. What is your favorite children’s cartoon character?
  15. If you could have dinner with any public figure or celebrity (alive or dead), who would it be and why?
  16. Where do you see us in five years?
  17. What is something new you learned in the last week?
  18. What is your favorite time of day and why?
  19. If you could live to the age of 90 and retain either the looks or brains you had at 30, what would you keep?
  20. What song describes your life right now?

It is a wonderful thing to get to know someone so well that you feel like you can spend every day of the rest of your life with them. As you build your life together, never stop taking the time to learn more about the one you love.

What are some fun get to know you questions you would add to this list?

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